WHAT'S YOUR ROADMAP TO PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?

[Guderian]

The Palestinians should all go to Jordan, Syria, etc., and the Israelis should disperse around the world as they were before 1947-48.* The lands that are today occupied by those people could then be turned over to someone that both Europe/the UN/etc. and the US could agree on - say, Italy (hell, the Catholic Church has just as good a claim to Jerusalem as the Jews or Muslims do). The "quartet" (Russia, the EU, the US, and those other guys) can pay the costs of the occupation so that the Italian taxpayers don't have any reason to oppose the plan. Ultimately, it would be international territory - but to keep the Americans happy, we can't have the UN running the show (thus, the Italians).

The now-peaceful land could then be used for more productive things, like growing food to feed starving Africans, building AIDS research centres, and constructing a new hockey arena for the Pittsburgh Penguins. As an added bonus, we don't have to hear about the Israel-Palestine thing from either the quasi-fascist neo-cons or the tree-hugging liberal hippies anymore.

This is the perfect peace plan. In the long run, the only two groups who are going to be pissed are the Jews and the Muslims, and they should get over it eventually. The rest of us who are neither can only benefit.

*As an alternative: give the Israelis half of Antarctica, and the Palestinians the other half. They'll still kill each other, but this way no one will have any reason to care.