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Mockery · #1

Dr. Boogie has endured the pain of what is easily one of the worst horror movies to come out in ages - AX 'EM. Just how bad is this film? So horrible that even *I* wouldn't purchase it for my cheezy horror movie collection.

So enjoy the minimock and be thankful that you don't have to actually go through the torture of watching the movie... unless you actually still want to rent it after reading Boogie's review.

SPOOKY MOVIE SPOTLIGHT: "AX 'EM" -by Dr. Boogie:
http://www.I-Mockery.com/minimocks/Ax-Em

Enjoy!

-RoG-[/url]

James · #2

I always found it fascinating that a movie could be made, when the cost of producing the VHS tapes to transfer it to is more than the total cost of producing the movie.

Very nice work, Boogie.

FS · #3

What the fuck? He killed his own family and will return to avenge their deaths? What's he gonna do, kill himself again?

Is this the first movie produced in Engrish?

This movie managed to do so many things wrong, I bet Boogie got the only copy of this movie ever made. The creators probably snuck into the Horror section of a video rental and hid their tape between the other movies.

I could not tell at all what the story was about from that review, but somehow I doubt watching the movie would help. Good job. I can't wait for the review of Ax'Em II: Breakfast of Champions.

James · #4

No no no. You got it ALL wrong.

You see, mean Mr. Mason killed his family, then himself. And 13 years later, legend said he would return to revenge his family deaths.

HOWEVER, his son Harry was never found, and he's the one that came back instead. CRAZY TWIST OF EVENTS! Or bad storytelling.

Les Waste · #5

Then is mean man Killed himself.

FS · #6

I think the line about him returning 13 years later was supposed to be the last line in the introduction, so it would refer to Harry.

So, not only is punctuation, grammar and placement of capital letters fucked up, it's also in the wrong order.

James · #7

This movie was edited by dyslexic emus with a liquid made up of Pepsi Blue and Pixie Sticks injected directly into their brain stem.

FS · #8

I bet Spike Lee is very proud that Mr. Mfume once again showed the world that black people can make movies too!

sspadowsky · #9

I have to rent this. I've actually seen it at the Blockbuster near my house. Oh my Christ, that looks great.

Outstanding, review, Dr. Boogie.
________
Weed Vaporizers

Anonymous · #10

Just so there isn't any more confusion, yes, the line about him coming back in 13 years is supposed to be last, but that was actually my doing. Not like that explains too much, but still, I'll have it fixed shortly. Or whenever Roger is back on AIM.

Ninjavenom · #11

That movie looks like the biggest pile of mephitic, festering shit i have ever heard of. Thanks for the heads up, doc.

Mockery · #12

The movie is so bad that I won't even watch it, because just from his screenshots you can tell how crappy the film/story/plot really is. What I really want to know is how it stands up to "The Video Dead" on the Crap-o-meter. I still need to get that on vhs so I can review it...