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kellychaos · #26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Les Waste

One time this black girl, about 15-17 years old, came up to me and asked me what time the 9 o'clock bowling starts. I swear to god I am not kidding. I stared at her for a few moments, expecting her to say, oh wait, nevermind, but she never did. I eventually said "Um, how about 9 o'clock?" and she said ok and walked away like it was the most normal thing that could have possibly transpired.

Just playing the devil's advocate here but she may have meant to ask you if the 9:00 p.m. was going to start late due to the league play and took your saying that it was to start at 9:00 p.m. that non-league play would not be delayed. Consequently, she probably didn't feel that there was anything more to ask. Of course, I could be wrong and she was an idiot. Just saying

slavemason · #27

Les did state that she was black. Are you black? Are you really a girl? Ooops...

kellychaos · #28

Quote:

Originally Posted by slavemason

Les did state that she was black. Are you black? Are you really a girl? Ooops...

Neither ... I DID kind of wonder what, outside description, that to do with the topic of "people being stupid"? :/

Spectre X · #29

one day, a coupe of years ago, I went to this hike through the woods where we had to answer questions on the way. Once, we stopped at a sign that read:

"Is Squirrelbread:
A- bread for squirrels
B- a mushroom
C- bread made of squirrels."

well, I said it was a mushroom (an edible one, non toxic or something like that), but the leader of my group was such a dumbass, he actually thouhgt that it was bread for squirrels, while there was a picture of a FUCKING MUSHROOM!!!! right next to the FUCKING QUESTION!!!

up untill this day, i have hated im with a passion for dragging down the average human IQ throughout the world by 70 points.

P.S. it's a mushroom, trust me, we learned it in school, I heard about it a bajillion times somewhere else, yet STILL, he thouhgt it was bread for squirrels.

kellychaos · #30

Luckily it's non-toxic 'cause squirrels can't read signs and they might've eaten them.

davinxtk · #31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skulhedface

Try having hair down to your chest when Hanson mania hit.

Ah, shit, finally someone who knows my pain. So many people used to say stupid shit like "WOW YOU LOOK JUST LIKE <insert name here>!!!"

I tended to freak out and respond with something about killing their parents. I also used to point out that my hair is fucking brown.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadie

i still get carded for cigs and i'm 33.

Turn that

into a

. That's called flirting.

Cap'n Crunch · #32

Kelly, you said you were a guy. Are you a guy?

kellychaos · #33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cap'n Crunch

Kelly, you said you were a guy. Are you a guy?

Yup.

Cap'n Crunch · #34

That purple Spongebob backround doesn't suit you.

Skulhedface · #35

Quote:

Originally Posted by davinxtk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skulhedface

Try having hair down to your chest when Hanson mania hit.

Ah, shit, finally someone who knows my pain. So many people used to say stupid shit like "WOW YOU LOOK JUST LIKE <insert name here>!!!"

I tended to freak out and respond with something about killing their parents. I also used to point out that my hair is fucking brown.

Yes, this sort of thing used to piss me off on a daily basis. I would get compared to everyone from Trent Reznor to Jonathan Davis, even though the only thing there was in common was long, dark hair.

But in case I didn't tell you guys before, it's all gone now. I had to cut it late in '99, grew it back out slowly but surely, and lost it all again just 3 weeks ago.

So here's to ANOTHER three years of growing my hair out again

FS · #36

I wish less people had taken this topic seriously

the Uber Daith · #37

hah, the other day my mum got id'ed for alcohol. She's 53.

The Unseen · #38

Yeah right, liar.

Chris P. Bacon · #39

I told this one customer one time that her movies were due at noon and she actually asked me "Noon at night or noon in the afternoon."
I looked at her a second and replied. "well, noon"
"Noon, like afternoon, right?"
I ended it with, "Yeah, noon as in after noon."

CastroMotorOil · #40

I work at a grocery store. Gorcery stores get some of the dumbest peopel in droves. One of the worst was a owman who wanted to buy pet supplies from our scanty pet supply area. We had a certain type of pet food on sale at a certain weight (12 ounces or something) and this woman shows up at the register with like a 24oz bag of food and asks for the sale price. When told she has the wrong kind she insists that we lied to her and told her the wrong stuff in the magazine and that she deserves it for FREE. When told that is not possible she begins screaming at the top of her lungs about how we ahve terrible service, she ended up storming out without buying anything at all. She also showed up again to complain later in the day, and she called once the next day.

Bod · #41

Mr Bacon, where do you live that they put your weight on your driver's lisence? How bizzare. Do you have your chest size on your credit card too?

Les Waste · #42

driver's licenses in America list height, weight, eye color, hair color, whether or not you wear glasses/contacts and some other stuff that I can't remember and I'm too lazy to actually look at mine.

pjalne · #43

A little off-topic but still in the right neighborhood:

I worked in an electronics store a couple of years ago, and we sold pre-paid credit for cell phones. Not sure what those cards are called in English. A lot of customers have trouble registering their credit (old people mostly), and we of course helped them do it.

Then there was this lady. I swear to god, we could all smell her the minute she started walking up the stairs. And hear her. She was blowing like a whale from the strain as she was climbing the stairs, pumping out week-old air from the bottom of her nicotine-swimming lungs. She reeked of old tobacco, fresh tobacco, stuck-in-every-skin-cell-of-the-entire-body tobacco and shit tobacco as well as sweat and dog shit.

She had a big dog. She was a big ugly lady. The kind that has big dogs. Her much too long nails were brown from the nicotine that had stuck on the outside as well as what I imagine was nicotine that had seeped into every nail cell from the inside. You can imagine the teeth. As for the rest, imagine Quasimodo only woman and incapable of ringing any bells without collapsing into a wheezing ball of skunk shit.

Whenever my coworkers and I sensed her, we would abandon each other and run hide in the toilet or elevator, leaving one poor soul to help her. Sometimes it was me.

Her phone was covered with a film of all the unpleasantness mentioned above as well as shit from her apartment. I would pick up the phone with three fingers, dial carefully while holding it away from my ear, and get it over with. After she'd left, I'd run and wash my hands. The smell would still stay there for hours.

Shit, ran a little long there. Well, anyone else experienced anything similar?

Les Waste · #44

Working in a bowling alley, I got to hear a lot the "Do you have 16 pound balls?" crank call. Sometimes, when it was just really fucking busy, it pissed me off so much. I mean, it always pissed me off just because people are so fucking uncreative. But when I'm doing the work of three or four people and the only thing preventing me from collapsing from exhaustion is that the shit head customers would yell at me, it kind of ticks you off to hear some punk-ass 12 year old thinking he's the kind of goddamn comedy. So I would just slam the phone down as loud as possible, sometimes banging it on the counter a few times.

Although when I wasn't busy I would reply back with "yes, I have big, black balls, as dark as they are heavy." They would say, as is customary "How do you walk?" and I would say something like "my balls don't hinder my walk, however my massive black cock does make my back hurt a little." But what pissed me off is that these little idiots usually hung up immediately. I remember making crank calls when I was younger and the reason you fucking do it is to hear the reaction of the other person. You NEVER hang up on them; you wait for them to hang up on you.

I wish people would be more creative than using a crank call that's been done so much, it's public domain.