Features

mburbank · #1

So, I'm at Borders thumbing through a new National Lampoon compilation book, "Not fit for Print" and I'm reading the table of contents to see who's in it, and low and behold, I am.

One of the last things in the book is a piece I sold them a few years back, "What to say to a Complete Stranger While Shovelling Snow." When they bought it they bought serialization rights, so it's not as if they owe me any money.

But crackers! I'd of thunk they'd have given me a heads up, for goodness sakes! So I'm pleased and pissed off at the same time.

I've had my stuff in magazines before, but I have never been in a real live book. Even if it is printed on very crappy paper. I'm in a book that has stuff by PJ Ororke, Michael Odonahugh and Chris Miller. Those are the names of comedy writers I read and admired when I was a lad.

Supafly345 · #2

I remember when you wrote it, you bragged about how easy it was to please these suckers.

mburbank · #3

Did I? That was crass of me. I should know better than to bite the hand that feeds.

I just wish it would feed me more.

And feed my kids.

And send them to college.

Is that too much too ask?

Protoclown · #4

Dude, that's just fucked up that they didn't even TELL you.

Sacks · #5

It was a surprise you guys, jeez.

DuFresne · #6

They could at least send you a free copy or something!

MetalMilitia · #7

I'm in a book too, bigshot

The book of life.

mburbank · #8

who wrote the book of life?

MetalMilitia · #9

...GOD!

MisSFiT · #10

I had a poem published in a book, for a "contest" from the back of a magazine. When really it was just a ploy to get people to actually buy the book. There were probably over 200 poems in it, so at 25 buck a pop and over 200 people and some other family members guaranteed to buy it, they made out pretty good.

I haven't written one since...
Those bastards.

kahljorn · #11

sounds like poetry.com
lol I've only metl ike one or two people stupid enough to buy that book.

Supafly345 · #12

Its like a who's who that wastes your money and your time.

mburbank · #13

Okay, so now I've had time to actually read the book, and except for one or two pieces, it's as if the carefully combed all of Natlamps history, both magazine and web to find the most obnoxious and revolting stuff they ever published. I mean, I know the title of the compilation is "Not fit for Print", but I thought that would be just sort of a draw, not literally true.

I'm like Kilgore Trout. All my work is filler to pad out low grade porn.

Protoclown · #14

Yeah, I was flipping through the book in a Barnes & Noble yesterday, and they had some pretty fucked up stuff in there. It was cool to see your piece in it though.

Sacks · #15

Like what kind of fucked up stuff are we talking about here? Trannies?

DuFresne · #16

So Max, are you saying your piece was out of place in a book as fucked-up as this, or was it one of your more particularly fucked-up pieces?

Sacks · #17

Max doesn't really write 'fucked-up' pieces. He just writes pieces and people edit them to be fucked up.

Protoclown · #18

I didn't really look at the book in great detail, but from the table of contents it looked like there was an entire section of the book dedicated to feces, which I know I love to read about.

mburbank · #19

No this one wasn't very editted. And it was mostly run of the mill for me shock wise. Some curses, some rough trade gay insinuation, but no more so than my average.

There's lot of stuff in the book that's just gross for the sake of being gross, that the whole humor value lies in "Oh, man, can you believe I just wrote that".

I have nothing against gross humor. I just think you need to try harder and that the grossness itself doesn't really count as funnyness.