dungeons and dragons horror stories

[Magreaux]

An old (former) friend of mine joined the Navy three years ago and upon doing so became a big macho toughguy who commenced to joke with his newfound Navy friends about how I had a bunch of D&D books when I was 10 years old, and how that alone makes me a massive dribbling faggot. So then he and all his Navy buddies would send me endless irate myspace messages (lol) on their time off, all frothing at the mouth with the intent of "ripping me a new one" on account of my gradeschool faggotry. Later on the guy went AWOL and ran up to me in a grocery store asking if he could borrow some money for a plane ticket to South America, where he could hide from THE MAN.

That's about the most horrific D&D related story I could remember. I hope it's not too disappointing.

[Jomb]

I used to play Dungeons & Dragons on the 2nd floor of an apartment which had no plumbing. One time in the winter a guy had to pee really badly but did'nt want to miss anything or walk a half block in the snow to the nearest toilet, so he pissed out the window. This became a regular thing. Then one day a girl was also playing and she had to pee really badly so she did it out the window to by basically having her lower half out the window. The 2nd time she did this she lost her grip and fell out the window breaking her leg and fracturing her hip. She had to explain to her family and the people at the hospital why she fell out the window and had urine all over her. She also was about to go to basic training to join the military and was no longer able to be in the military due to her injuries.

[liquidstatik]

you're such a liar, girls don't play d&d

[Zomboid]

Butch military girls might.

[Supafly345]

Camacazio says that there were some good times getting drunk and playing DnD.

[Jomb]

The female was not a regular player in our D&D game, she was the GF of one of the players who insisted she wanted to take part. They split up right about then....

[Zomboid]

Originally Posted by Supafly345

Camacazio says that there were some good times getting drunk and playing DnD.

Camacazio also told me that he longer enjoys fun.

[Evil Robot]

Due to your last D20 roll, you arte safe from black peaople

[Evil Robot]

A black man is exactly two hexagon things in front of you.

Attack 0
Attack 0
Defend -12
Attack 0
Attack 0
Defend -7

You have died.

[Supafly345]

Originally Posted by Zomboid

Camacazio also told me that he longer enjoys fun.

Well Camacazio mentioned to me that your sister has a really loose asshole.

[Zomboid]

My only sister died in a car wreck three years ago, so she probably does by this point!

[MLE]

Come on, it's not like you're JERSEYBOY

Not EVERYONE can be awesome and have a dead relative.


Unless you're ScruU2wice




Or Juttin.

[Emu]

My uncle died the other day

[glowbelly]

one time i played dnd and my boyfriend got mad at me because i wasn't SERIOUS enough

[Max Radical]

you're such a liar, girls don't play d&d

I think you'll find that a girl prepared to piss out a second floor window in front of spectators will do many things that surprise and confuse you.

[Jomb]

Well, she made us look the other way, and it was in a semi-rural area late at night so there probably were'nt any spectators... still it was kinda unlady-like.

[Blue Gularis]

I actually did play Dungeons and Dragons with a girl back in high school. She was cute, too. Eventually she stopped coming to our sessions because we couldn't stop staring at her breasts.

Horror story: In college there was this jackass who horned in on our D&D group. He was really annoying and everybody hated him, except the Dungeon-master (who he kissed up to endlessly) so we put up with him. We called him "Gimme" because every time anyone found something good he would try to come up with some angle why it should be his, even if it was something his shit-eating half-elf wizard couldn't use.

One day my dwarf fighter fought a pretty major monster solo, some kind of uber-gnoll anti-paladin thing. Gimme was in the same room running around looting chests instead of helping- yeah, that was real 'lawful good' of him. I rolled really well and managed to crit the thing, killing him with one blow- he dropped a sweet enchanted axe for my troubles. Now here comes Gimme, wanting my new axe! I told him to shove it up his ass and he got offended so he had his character make a ruckus which brought about thirty gnoll guards in. Then he went invisible and my character died in the ensuing lop sided fight. The prick!!!

Everybody loved my dwarf fighter and enough was enough. We stopped the session early, took Gimme down into the steam tunnels beneath the campus and sacrificed him to Satan, slowly with a pocket knife.

After that we all got girlfriends and stopped playing- thanks Satan!