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Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Old Oct 31st, 2007, 04:03 PM        BACOS BACON FLAVOR CHIPS
I just had the worst food-related experience of my ENTIRE LIFE. It traumatized me horribly, and I will never be able to forget it for as long as I live!

Now, Bacos has it's very own emoticon here on our discussion community, and the reason for this I never bothered to figure out.


However, I did discover just last night that there was a jar of the stuff in my kitchen's seasoning cupboard, and what with it being sweet enough to afford it's own emoticon here I immediately decided that this was awesome and that I needed to eat some on the spot. But, before I opened it and poured a bunch of the shit down my gullet, I noticed that it was a bacon SUBSTITUTE, wheras I thought it was just a special brand of bacon. This gave me no reason to be cautious, but something told me I had better take a sniff of the stuff before I tried eating some. So I did.

I awoke some time later sprawled on the floor in a pool of my own vomit, my chest heaving and my lungs burning with the horrid, corrosive fumes that had come from the container.

If a preacher told me that Satan feeds this to you in hell, I would not doubt him for a second! It's a damn good thing I didn't actually EAT this shit, or I might be fucking dead right now.

The horror of Bacos cannot be described in any language known to mankind. It's like Giygas, and your puny human brain cannot grasp the true form of it's stench.

I think I get why it's an emote now!
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JediScum JediScum is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Illinois
Old Oct 31st, 2007, 08:11 PM       
Those things are in salad bars all over the country. I'll eat 'em, but why? I'd rather eat real bacon.

But you're in luck. Today is the perfect day to get rid of the wretched things. Dump equal portions into 10-12 sandwich baggies, tie a knot at the top and pass 'em along to the halloween hordes. Hell, clean out the fridge while you're at it. Nothing says Happy Halloween like an 1/8th full bottle of squeezable dijon mustard or that tub of boysenberry yogurt that's been hiding in the back for about two months. Not giving out candy shows you care about your neighborhood's children's dental hygiene.
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Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
Drugs+drugs+rock+roll
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Old Oct 31st, 2007, 08:32 PM       
But then I'll get my house egged :<

And I can't eat all these fun sized butterfingers by myself :<
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Dr. V Dr. V is offline
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Location: That once place, you know. Around the corner.
Old Nov 5th, 2007, 02:15 AM       
You know, BacOs is the first soy product marketed in america?
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Emu Emu is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 10:49 AM       
I like Bacos
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MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 06:42 PM       
I've never tried Bacos. I guess mainly because you can make real bacon in about 1 minute flat so I can't see myself ever needing a more instant substitute.
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