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Mockery Mockery is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 06:20 AM        NEW FEATURE: "TEN THINGS I LIKE ABOUT RETURN OF THE JEDI!"
Wrapping up his "favorite things" series about the original Star Wars trilogy, here's what Proto found to be the best things about Return of the Jedi. It's a trap!


NEW FEATURE: "TEN THINGS I LIKE ABOUT RETURN OF THE JEDI!" -by Protoclown
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/returnofthejedi


Enjoy!
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jack_the_ripper jack_the_ripper is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 10:58 AM        What! No Jar Jar Binks?
So Obi-Wan Kenobi actually made Luke kill he's own father, who he thinks is killed by Darth Vader, who really is Luke's father? That man is a real fucking bastard... And why isn't Jar Jar on the list?
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Protoclown Protoclown is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 12:56 PM       
Have you ever seen Star Wars?
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 01:07 PM       
I've seen life, i know that
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mburbank mburbank is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 01:13 PM       
Proto, I don't know if I'd put this in for this movie since it's sort of a culmination of "revenge" and this one, but I've always liked how it turns out Yoda, the big time Jedi Master, was wrong about everything.

Luke not ready? Turns out he was

Remember your failure in the cave? Well, since he didn't end up killing Vader, and therefore killing himself, I guess his failure foreshadowed... nothing.

Don't give in to your emotions and rescue your friends? Well, apart from costing him a hand, how much did his going to sky city mess things up? Hmmm, not at all?

I guess when you combine him being totally wrong about Luke with the fact that Yoda was Jedi Master during the time when every child Jedi in training got slaughtered, maybe Yoda doesn't get to be in the Jedi Master hall of fame.
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jack_the_ripper jack_the_ripper is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 01:59 PM        Me, ever seen Star Wars?
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Originally Posted by Protoclown View Post
Have you ever seen Star Wars?

Yes, i have seen it a long time ago and i didn't it like that much, so i don't remember all the details. Actually i enjoyed Star Trek movies much more. And of course, the original ST series rocked. And yeah, princess Leia hentai is the greatest. (The best smiley ever...) But i think that the best Science-fiction movie i have ever seen is The Dark City...
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J. Tithonus Pednaud J. Tithonus Pednaud is offline
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 03:27 PM       
I was always under the impression that the littlte droid was being branded, not tortured.
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 04:13 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by mburbank View Post
Proto, I don't know if I'd put this in for this movie since it's sort of a culmination of "revenge" and this one, but I've always liked how it turns out Yoda, the big time Jedi Master, was wrong about everything.

Luke not ready? Turns out he was

Remember your failure in the cave? Well, since he didn't end up killing Vader, and therefore killing himself, I guess his failure foreshadowed... nothing.

Don't give in to your emotions and rescue your friends? Well, apart from costing him a hand, how much did his going to sky city mess things up? Hmmm, not at all?

I guess when you combine him being totally wrong about Luke with the fact that Yoda was Jedi Master during the time when every child Jedi in training got slaughtered, maybe Yoda doesn't get to be in the Jedi Master hall of fame.
Ahh this is why I like max :O
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 04:18 PM       
I couldn't read past #2. Not yet.
I was really sad when the Ewok died. Just because the living one was like "come on let's go *tug tug*"
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Old Nov 6th, 2007, 08:59 PM       
That was the best one yet!
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Old Nov 7th, 2007, 03:49 AM       
I don't see why "It's a trap" wasn't included. Yes it's become nothing more than internet-icon fodder now, but every time I ride Star Tours, I still yell it up at the flight command area.
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Angryhydralisk Angryhydralisk is offline
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Old Nov 7th, 2007, 11:18 AM       
This movie tripped me out when I was a kid too, but in a different way. Because of Vader's robot suit, Leia's shiny gunshot wound, and Luke's robo-hand, I thought the entire Skywalker family.......WERE CYBORGS!

Either way, I can't wait to read articles on the prequels, just because negativity is like a magnet for comedy. Plus you point out the most awkward things.
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Protoclown Protoclown is offline
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Old Nov 7th, 2007, 01:43 PM       
Hydralisk: Yeah, I try to point out odd things that some people may not have noticed. Of course, I throw a few obvious ones in there too that I just HAVE to talk about. So I'm kind of looking forward to what I come up with on the prequels too, because right now I really have NO idea. I just know that I'm going to have to watch them again. And that hurts me.

Volshurawitz: I thought about including "It's a trap!" but like you say, it's all over the internet now so it didn't seem worth pointing out.

Pednaud: You might be right, but given the fact that they're burning his feet when Threepio and Artoo first walk in and they're doing it again when they leave seems like more than they would need for a simple branding.

Max: I love that shit you pointed out...classic!
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mburbank mburbank is offline
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Old Nov 7th, 2007, 01:58 PM       
They are definitely 'torturing' the droid, which indeed screams in anticipation, and maybe because I was older than you guys, it totally took me out of the moment. There I was, deeply absorbed in the fantasy and in an instant, I'm sitting in my chair saying 'Well, that is beyond stupid."

Similarly, I agree with Proto that the teddy bears with stone age weapons sustaining a single casualty against an army of stormtroopers was ridiculous and could have been easily cured by killing most of them. Say 90% which still would have been being nice about it.
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Angryhydralisk Angryhydralisk is offline
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Old Nov 9th, 2007, 11:16 AM       
Proto, you've got guts. Except maybe Ep. III, I don't think I could sit through the prequel trilogy again. That's just masochism.
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Blue Gularis Blue Gularis is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2007, 12:20 PM        Dart Vader is really....
Protoclown,

I enjoyed that a lot. Just last night I caught the tail end of it on one of the movie channels but had to turn it off and have a couple of shots of tequila when the world music beat of the furry convention hug fest started. I also thought Bib Fortuna and the Twyleks were interesting.

For me the movie's most memorable moment was the awesome revelation that Darth Vader-


was actually....



-Uncle Fester!

Vader-


-Fester



Vader-


-Fester!



....and I remember the terrible dawning realization throughout that the "third" Star Wars movie was sucking and that I was going to have to face my grief in the cold light of day- appropriately enough Mount Saint Helens had blown up while we were watching it and when we came out of the theater in Olympia WA it looked like an A-bomb had gone off... and we took comfort in that!

***a moment of silence for a shattered childhood dream***


Also, I cannot thank you enough for the Dead Ewok GIF, I will treasure it always. If you don't mind I might like to make it a bit smaller and use it as a forum sig. The ewoks were an abomination unto God and Man. Sadly the original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back are the only true gems in a cheap plastic crown of zirconiums.

By the way, I noticed you mentioned that you have an "..unhealthy interest in green-skinned girls..." There is absolutely nothing wrong with that-

It's perfectly healthy to be attracted to the exotic-



Perfectly-

healthy...



I have to go now.
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Last edited by Blue Gularis : Nov 11th, 2007 at 12:29 PM. Reason: I wanted to see the little editing guy gif
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Angryhydralisk Angryhydralisk is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2007, 01:04 PM       
That's kinda like, oh I don't know.....


Ethan Hunt resembling...


Herman Munster!
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Protoclown Protoclown is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2007, 09:46 PM       
You know, I thought about making a joke about the green-skinned girls from Star Trek, but decided to leave it out. One guy emailed me and said I should've mentioned them too though.
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Blue Gularis Blue Gularis is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2007, 07:03 AM       
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Originally Posted by Protoclown View Post
You know, I thought about making a joke about the green-skinned girls from Star Trek, but decided to leave it out. One guy emailed me and said I should've mentioned them too though.

You can not go wrong with green skinned Star Trek girls.

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Old Nov 12th, 2007, 03:56 PM       
Now I don't feel nearly as bad for being sexually aroused by John Byrne's She-Hulk now, uhh... I mean, when I was in junior high school.
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Eyelobe Eyelobe is offline
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Old Nov 13th, 2007, 01:03 AM       
This is my favorite of the series. Most people my age love Empire, but not me. Growing up in the 80s, I needed the ridiculous optimism of this one. Of course the Ewoks kick ass!
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