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Mockery · #**351**

Haha great rhyming story, MarioRPG... I loved that they tagged you. Now you're their bitch... FOREVER. That was a hell of a nice haul too. Really cool of you to send out all that stuff JTP.

doopa · #**352**

Dec 5th: I am excited and already checking the mailbox for my gift.

Dec 13th: I am still hopeful that my gift will come soon.

Dec 19th: Secret Santa picks are due TOMORROW and I GOT NUTTIN!

Later that night...

Look what the mailman brought me...

Secret. Santa. Secret. Santa. HORRAY!

Lets see what I gots!

A note:

Oh how drrrrrrreamy

First a dvd "Sleazy Slashers":

Second a "Jerry Tyler's Wrecker" hat:

Perfect.

Aww yeah feelin at home already.

Santa's Butt (Doopa) Winter Porter. HELL YEAH BOY

And I must say, quite a butt it is indeed.

What a lovely evening. Thanks MATTJACK. HELL YEAH BOY!

And that's what we call cutting it close. Boy shipped that overnight fancy polar bear express and I appreciate it. Christmas wasn't ruined after all!

J. Tithonus Pednaud · #**353**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery

One question though, what exactly did he send you besides the hand puppet and fake poo? Those things are pretty cheap and I guess I'm just unclear as to what he sent ya. Just wanna make sure you got at least $15 worth o' gifts per our Secret Santa requirements 'n all heheh.

The hand puppet and the poo was the complete haul. The puppet is pretty cool and my secret Santa is a fairly young pup, so I'm not disappointed or anything.

Besides, it's Christmas! Better to give than receive and all that jazz.

I think that with what I got, I put together something decent.

Besides, what do you get a guy with a mounted two-headed chick in his kitchen?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery

Haha great rhyming story, MarioRPG... I loved that they tagged you. Now you're their bitch... FOREVER. That was a hell of a nice haul too. Really cool of you to send out all that stuff JTP.

My pleasure. Glad you liked the haul MarioRPG, nice to see you enjoying the junk I sent. Awesome rhyming story as well! I started my story off as a rhyme but lacked the dedication.

Protoclown · #**354**

GIFT FROM GRISLYGUS!

WHAT IS IN THE BAG?

I AM IN THE BAG!

ALSO: BOOTY TREASURE

ENCASED IN CARBONITE

WEAPONIZED WEAPONS AND LOBSTER AND BIRD (NO MONKEY)

PIRATES!

ALL CAPS!

GRISLYGUS: THANKS BUDDY! HIFIVE!

Sethomas · #**355**

My Secret Santa was revealed to be MLE.

Hence,

I will tell you of the things I received and what I did with them.

I received a Slinky Jr.

I hung it from my ceiling.

I also received some clip-on earrings.

Apparently, MLE thought that I wouldn't wear real ones.
I did not put them on. I made love to them, instead.
(Photo not online)

I also received a candle scented of watermelon.

Apparently, MLE got me confused with Seven Force.
I have yet to burn the candle. I have, however, made love to it.
(Photo not online)

I also received a metal box.

I haven't really done anything to this yet. If you have any suggestions for how I might be able to make love to it, please let me know.

I also received a card in commemoration of my sixth birthday.

I used the cardboard edges to cut myself, eliciting a faint erotic sensation.

I also received a coloring book replete with pencils with which I might color within it.

As I have not the talent to draw within lines, I opted to color genitalia in it.

Le coup de grace, however, was a Rubik's Cube.

After a painful attempt to make love to it, I opted instead to solve its riddles.
For more on this, see the following website hosted by YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2MMlKzisEA
------------------------------------------------------
Aaaaaaaaaanyways, thank you for the rather wonderful Christmas medley, MLE. I enjoyed the experience!

nothing4buddha · #**356**

OK Ya'll! Merry Christmas!!! My Secret Santa was Mr. Sethomas!!! Now... let's see what Christmas had in store for me, Nothing4buddha!

What Christmas would it be without getting clothes? AND A CIGAR!

A new weapon against all those darn ants!

HMMM.... this could be fun...

OH GOD THE SWEEET SWEEEET SUCTION! I HOPE I DON'T GET HICKIES ON MY FACE LOL

OHHH GOD .... *sigh* that was nice

... and for the grand finale...

a buddha play set with phonebook car! horray!

MORE LIKE NOT NOTHING 4 BUDDHA lolz :<

I'M NOT CREATIVE ENOUGH TO THINK OF SOMETHING FOR THESE SO I'LL PROBABLY JUST MAKE A BEAN SHAKER OUT OF PAPER PLATES, STAPLES, GLUE, AND GLITTER.

ANYWAYS, THANK YOU SETHOMAS FOR THE JOYOUS AND PLEASURABLE GIFT!

MERRRRRRRY XMAS YA'LL!

MLE · #**357**

MLE RECEIVED HER GIFTS FROM SAM WITH GLEE

OH I WAS SO HAPPY

LIKE ANY GOOD BOY, HE GOT ME EXPENSIVE JEWELRY

I WON'T TELL ANYONE YOU GOT ME BOOZE, OKAY

BUT I HAVE ALREADY AS OF TODAY USED THIS WITH GREAT SUCCESS FOR TUNA AND CRACKERS

I RECEIVED TWO OF THESE EGGS, BUT THEY WERE NON-COMSUMABLE! I WILL BE HATCHING NEW PETS FROM THESE, AS IF I NEEDED MORE!

HE GOT ME SILLY STRING <3

MY CAT HATES </3 SILLY STRING

HE GOT ME A LOVELY DEMON MASK

HE MADE A DECLARATION OF COOKIE LOVING ON A TIN. I HAPPEN TO SHARE THE SAME COOKIE LOVING.

SO I ATE IT WITH A SMILE

MY CAT CAME BACK TO INVESTIGATE THE SILLY STRING PHENOMENON

HE SENT ME AN AWESOME CD OF SPIDERMAN AND OTHER MARVEL HERO SONGS THAT AREN'T REALLY THEMES, ALTHOUGH I WILL BE PRETENDING THEY ARE <3

I WAS SKEPTICAL OF THE WHOOPIE CUSHION

UNTIL I WAS ABLE TO SCARE THE CAT ONCE AGAIN

I HAVE YET TO TRY THE JACKIE CHAN DRINK, BUT FOR NOW THE BOOZE WAS ENOUGH <3

GOD MADE ME SPECIAL

UNFORTUNATELY FIREBALLS AREN'T AS SPECIAL. I'M GLAD CHOJIN LIKES THEM. THEY FOUND A GOOD, DIGESTABLE HOME.

I GOT THIS CUTE STRESS RELIEVING DOLL

I DON'T THINK HE WAS SUPPOSED TO STRIP FOR ME, THOUGH. I'LL COUNT IT AS AN ADDED BONUS!

PAGE ONE OF SAM'S WONDERFUL NOTE

PAGE TWO OF SAM'S WONDERFUL NOTE

PAGE THREE OF SAM'S WONDERFUL NOTE

THE EXCITING CONCLUSION!

NAKED ROBIT

HE WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH TO FIGHT YOU

HE'S BROODING

I GAVE HIM WINGS

HE'S A LITTLE EMBARRASED BY BEING A GUY ROBIT WITH WINGS

HE GOT OVER IT, THOUGH

THIS SHOT IS OUT OF SEQUENCE, SORRY.

THE WINGS STARTED TO BREAK ANYWAY, SINCE HE WASN'T DESIGNED FOR THEM ;<

HE WILL STAY HERE FOREVER ABOVE MY DESK

MY CAT WAS STILL HIDING. I THINK HE'S OKAY NOW.

bigtimecow · #**358**

omg mle

i think you got the same jewelry that i got rog

MLE · #**359**

no, because mine was EXPENSIVE.

darklycan · #**360**

I have not yet recieved my gift, so unfortuantly I am unable to post pics till somewhere after the 5th of January because I am going intersate for christmas. Please no ban :D

Oh RanKeri I am glad you liked my gifts but I just saw that i left the price tags on XD I must of forgot to take them off 0.o

Oh and I thought you would like the Predator i guessed from your avatar and reading some of your previous posts.

Chojin · #**361**

Mockery · #**362**

It was just an ordinary day for me, Roger P. Finklestein, world renowned horticulturist and fan of advanced trigonometry. Being the creative person I clearly am, I was reading a book to help me balance my life. Too much creativity without any logic could mean I'd never reach my full human potential for greatness. I was just about to move on to the chapter about creating exciting spreadsheets that would make your head spin, when I had a knock on my door. It was the mail man and he had a package for me!

I couldn't believe my eyes! (that reminds me that I need to go to my optometrist and get a more powerful set of glasses) Who would be sending me a package? I thought about contacting the authorities, suspecting it to be Anthrax... possibly sent by a frustrated rival horticulturist who lost to me in a prior competition. Throwing caution to the wind, I decided to go ahead and open it because luck had always been on my side. After all, I was a handsome, successful man... what could go wrong?

Who would've thought that the tiny side project in my life called "I-Mockery" (the "I" stands for "Iris" - which was my way of mocking those who think the Iris is a superior bulb to the Windflower. As if!) would garner some fan mail for me? BTC (Bigtimecow) sent me a special Christmas gift! A "Secret Santa" gift, if you will!

OH MY STARS! It was a bountiful collection of Bling Glitz Wear! I doubt that Fort Knox even has this much valuable gold stored within its vaults! Little did I know that this decidedly celestial change of fortune would alter the course of my life forever!

As soon as I adorned my body with all of these newfound golden garment gifts, I felt a transformation taking place. Like a butterfly emerging from it's larval state... I had finally become the man I was destined to be!

TODAY ON MTV CRIBS, WE VISIT THE HOME OF THE MOST FAMOUS RAP STAR ON EARTH - BIG ROG!

YO, YO, YOOOOOO! WELCOME TO MY CRIB, YA'LL! YO, BE SURE YOU TAKES OFF YO' SHOOZ BEFORE COMIN' INTO MAH CRIB! IF YOU SCUFF UP MY FLOW, I BE SCUFFIN' YO' LIFE, FOOL! WORD.

SO THE FIRST THING I GOTZ TO SHOW YOU IS MAH SHOOZ! I KNOW ALL THE OTHER STARS ON CRIBS SHOW YOU THEY SHOOZ, BUT THEY CAN KEEP THEY AIR JORDANS AND PUMPS YA'LL... NONE OF THEM HAS A PAIR O' THESE! THESE BE MY FLOPS! FLIP FLOPS! WOOOOOOOORD!

I ALSO GOTS MAH BOOTZ! MAH BOOOOOOOYA-BOOTZ! HONKEYS BE TRYINN' TO BE STEPPIN' IN MY PLACE, SO I BE DYIN' TO BE STEPPIN' ON THEY FACE!

CHECK IT OUT YA'LL! THIS BE MY BIG TAY-VAY! 13 INCHES OF COLOR, MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAZ! THAT BE ONE TIGHT SYSTEM, YA'LL!

YO, ALL THEM RAPPAZ THINK THEY BE THE HOT SHEEEIT CUZ THEY HAVE CRISTAAAAL AND COURVOSIER IN THEY FRIDGES. PFFT, THAT AIN'T SHEEEIT! IT GOTS ME SOME PINEAPPLE JOOCE AND MAPLE SYRUP BITCHES!

I GOTZ ME SOME WICKED TOILET PAPER TOO YA'LL! THIS AIN'T NONE O' THAT 99 CENT SHEEEIT THAT DON'T LAST BUT A DAY! THIS BE THE NAME BRAND 2-PLY SHIT, YA'LL! 1000 SHEETS PER ROLL!

MAN, FUCK ALL THEM HONKEYS WIT THEY FANCY-ASS RIDES! YA'LL THINK THEM LAMB-O-GEENEEZ AND HUMMAZ CAN OUTMANOOVAH MY RIDE? VISION GATOR SKATEBOARD, YA'LL! THAT BE SOME TIGHT-ASS OLDSCHOOL SHEEEIT RIGHT THERE! I BE GLEAMING THE CUBE, YA'LL! WEST SIIIIIIIIIIIDE!

A'ITE, BEFORE I KICK YA'LL OUTTA MAH CRIB, I WANNA GIVE PROPS TO MAH HOMEY, THE B TO THE T TO THE C TO THE BIGTIMECOW! HE GAVE ME MY BLING AND HE ALSO GAVE ME THIS WICKED-ASS BLOCK HEADED TOY. YYYYEAH!

BE SURE TO CATCH BIG ROG'S DEBUT ALBUM, "AIN'T NO THANG", DUE OUT IN JANUARY 2008!
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FIRST SONG ON THE ALBUM!

ENJOY THE MAD TRAX, YA'LL! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD FROM MY CHRISTMAS GRILLZ! PEACE!

Sebra · #**363**

christmas

bigtimecow · #**364**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery

LAMB-O-GEENEEZ AND HUMMAZ

rog, it was well worth the wait

and this might not be news to anyone else, but zak and chojin live together?!?!?!

Fathom Zero · #**365**

The packaging was half the fun.

mburbank · #**366**

Okay, technologically, I am a fretyard, or 'retard' if you like your words without typos.

Zomboid sent me a haul o' goodies.

There was other swag as well, including a DVD with the first several appearnces of the HULK in comic books, but I had a hard enough time making pic tures of these and squeezing them into the internets.

The important thing is they made me very happy. Parrticularly alll them green lantern figures. I have well over 1,000 action figures, and I don't have any of the ones he sent me, which is pretty much a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

So thanks ZOMBOID! You made an old man remember the true meaning of Christmas, ie, me getting action figures I did not have.

MarioRPG · #**367**

An Evening Of Murder PARTY GAME!
Great job everyone!

JTP is a great-giver, :D

Seven Force · #**368**

Zomboid didn't get his presents yet, just letting you all know

MattJack · #**369**

I'm glad you enjoyed the gifts Doopa! I actually know Jerry Tyler, he's a good man.

I am jealous of Max's Country Justice game.

Also, I haven't gotten my gifts yet.. WHAT KIND OF CHRISTMAS EXCHANGE IS THIS?!