Bottled Waters Guaranteed To Aid You In Your Quest To Become A Douchebag

[Marthaeus Autolykos]

What's funny is that a lot of these "spring" bottled waters loosely define "spring" as "run of the mill municipal" water. One of the big brands around here is Kentwood, and people have actually told me they won't drink it, because that's where Brittney Spears is from, which suggests that there must be something wrong with that water...