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  #26  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2010, 03:09 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by MLE View Post
TRUE STORIES FROM THE CALL CENTER CHRONICLES:

One time this lady was on my line because she hadn't paid her bill ("I JUST PAID YOU ASSHOLES TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW YOU'RE SHOVING YOUR STINKING GREEDY HANDS BACK IN MY POCKETS AGAIN I HAVE TO CALL YOU EVERY MONTH COME ON NOW STOP SENDING ME BILLS AND GIVE ME FREE CABLE".) Normally this would have just been one of maybe three calls a day that I get like this, but she was abnormally rude and had profanity diarrhea of the mouth. When she got to a point that I had to start "Ma'am"ing her, she eventually said "And WHY you call'n me MA'AM?! MAH name's vahLENcia."

It took me every ounce of control I had not to call her Ms. Orange.
Far too interesting.
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  #27  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2010, 07:23 PM       
Speaking of call centers....

My friend ordered one of those 11" Alienware laptops from Dell. So about a week after he orders it, the order gets canceled. So he calls Dells 'support' and asks why his order gets canceled.


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Yes I see the trouble, your order was canceled by dell.com.

Friend: I know this, I want to know why it was canceled.


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Hold please while I find out


(10 minutes on hold later)


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Yes your order was canceled by Dell.com


Friend: We have established this. Why was it canceled?


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Hold please while I find out


(10 more minutes on hold passes)


Outsourced call center worker with Indian accent: Yes your order was canceled by Dell.com


friend: I want to talk to your supervisor


(20 minutes on hold later)


Outsourced call center supervisor with Indian accent: How may I help you?


friend: I want to know why my order was canceled.


Outsourced call center supervisor with Indian accent: Yes your order was canceled by dell.com



This goes on a bit longer and he finds out he turned off his land line phone and that sets off a flag with anything you finance until your new phone number is updated into your information that the creditors have.

After hearing this story, I tell my friend, "Well and good, but why after the 3rd 'your order was cancelled by dell.com' did you not tell them, "listen, you tell me 'your order was canceled by dell.com' one more fucking time and I swear i will call Pakistan and give them the launch codes"?"
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  #28  
Shadowdancer21b Shadowdancer21b is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2010, 07:33 PM       
Hilarious. I have stories of customer service hell, but I'll not share them. I'd rather sulk in the corner nursing my wounded pride.
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  #29  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Sep 19th, 2010, 10:05 PM       
MLE: 1
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  #30  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 12:35 AM       
INSTEAD OF MANDATORY MILItARY SERVICE TO HELP SHAPE PEOPLE UP AND PREPARE THEM FOR THE WORLD AND MAKE PEOPLE goOD CITIcENZ/WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY SHOULD HAVE MANDATORY CUSTOMER SErVICE JOBS Where YOU MAKE ONLY MINIMUM WAGE AND GET TREATED LIKE SHIT BY IDIOTS AND YOU HAVE TO SMILE WHILE THEY DO IT.
THAT WILL PREPARE YOU FOR LIFE.
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  #31  
Shadowdancer21b Shadowdancer21b is offline
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 12:57 AM       
We have a saying in the Army: BOHICA. Bend Over Here It Comes Again. I think that anagram alone taught me a lot about life.
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  #32  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 01:01 AM       
THEMILITARY AINT GOT SHIT ON RETAIL
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  #33  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 02:14 AM       
I agree with Kahl.
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  #34  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 10:26 AM       
Oh, the carnage that would ensue if retail workers packed heat.
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  #35  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 12:15 PM       
I ordered directv and was referred by a friend so we should both get $100. So for 10 months they take $10 off each bill. After my first months bill the discount isn't on so I call and find out why. They transfer me around to different departments for 10 mins. Finally they tell me that I don't get the discount because I signed up online. I let them know that I talked to someone on the phone that I called. This goes on for 40 minutes. I ask for a supervisor because by this time I've spend an unreasonable amount of minutes getting nowhere. The supervisor gets on and tells me I'm no eligible for the discount because I called the wrong phone number to sign up for directv. I tell the supervisor that I called the correct phone number and gave the correct acount number of my friend.

After another 20 minutes of her trying to get me off the line she told me she will escalate the problem. Someone would contact me by phone within 4-6 weeks.
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  #37  
Shadowdancer21b Shadowdancer21b is offline
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Old Sep 20th, 2010, 11:34 PM       
Directv has some good things and a whole lot of bad things. They source out their customer service to cubicle farms. I was once one of those damned souls.
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  #38  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Sep 21st, 2010, 02:00 AM       
I remember when I was a soldier, sitting on hold while bullets flew past us overhead. You would try to enter your zip code while artillery shells rocked our vision, I couldnt even se the numbers. And then the was private johnny, he sat on hold with his cable company for six hours while the taliban shelled his humvee. He later lost his hearing and got brain cancer from all the cell phone radiation.
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  #39  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Sep 21st, 2010, 02:03 AM       
I once heared a story about a private who was talking to what he thought was an indian call center while he was in combat. His patrol searched the dead and captured taliban only to find a cellphone with his name in the call history. The operator he was talking to was one of the taliban soldiers shooting at him in the firefight.
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  #40  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Sep 21st, 2010, 07:27 AM       
That last story would make a good comedy sketch that would offend half the population and make the other half laugh uproariously
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  #41  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Sep 21st, 2010, 09:22 AM       
at everyone.
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  #42  
McClain McClain is offline
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Old Oct 5th, 2010, 10:05 PM       
OP, just as an FYI, a "thumbs up" by an Afghani was the likely equivalent of a middle finger.
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