Just like little kids. Maybe I should buy you all a pack of pencils and some school paper. Why? I don't know.
N00b that came out of no where and knows everyone so well.
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?