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AChimp · #51

Quote:

I didn't contest the size of your e-penis or anything.

Ahh.... memories...

kahljorn · #52

"the attention aspect of it is something that results in gain for me."

OMG, I never thought of that! ANd like, changing to do something that would get you LAID doesn't result in any gain.

kellychaos · #53

I think that the hardest part for the guy is going to be afterward. I mean, it sounds like they both haven't had any yet so where's the basis of comparison (besides perhaps a sexual appliance of some sort

) As long as he makes things sufficiently romantic, pulls out his best bag of tricks and rev's her up as much as possible, the "actuality" is academic. The mood afterward ... talking ... holding ... calling the next day ... ect, is the important part. You know her girlfriends are going to be asking about it .. well that and his penis size. Moral of The Story: Don't Be A Dick After You Dip Your Wick.

CaptainBubba · #54

Just throwin in my two cents here, from my vast collection of knowledge regarding sex.

First put it (your penis silly-willy

) inside the vagina. Then stab her.
Then take it (the penis) outside the vagina.
Repeat until satisfaction has been acheived.
Make it look like an accident.
Eat a sandwich (nothing with mayo! lol!

)

Anonymous · #55

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn

OMG, I never thought of that! ANd like, changing to do something that would get you LAID doesn't result in any gain.

Okay, I'll bite: how does what I do hurt anyone?

Professor Cool · #56

I regret to inform you all that LobsterMagnet was killed by a drunk driver while on his way to his girlfriend's house to have sex. He may of died a virgin, but he died trying.

[center:1b57043fcb]

[/center:1b57043fcb]

[center:1b57043fcb] In Memory of LobsterMagnet [/center:1b57043fcb]
[center:1b57043fcb] 1985-2003[/center:1b57043fcb]
[center:1b57043fcb] "In a world filled with hate, they were all filled with whole lot of LOVE!!!"[/center:1b57043fcb]

Professor Cool · #57

As for the rest of you jerks, you've been wasting your time give you 2 cents about sex. This is his first time, and first times are never what you hoped for. It's the whole "riding the bike theory". You just dont get on a bike the first time and go "WHOO-WHOO!" and pop a wheelie and ride off. No, you fall down and for some of you, cried. Sex the first time is the same way, you fall down not knowing what the hell your doing and somebody probably cries. It doesnt matter if you know how to do it and have the right mechanisms, you still don't know what your doing and it just comes out either horrible or for the the lucky ones "just ok". Anyone who has said that their first time was AMAZING or FANTASTIC BEYOND BELIEF are lying and might of never had sex at all. Don't waste your time preparing for the first time, just go for it, and prepare to make the second time enjoyable and somewhat memorable.

AChimp · #58

My dad put me on a bike the first time and gave me a push. :/

Anonymous · #59

my first time was pretty good, captain isuckatsex :<

Royal Tenenbaum · #60

yeah, same. it went really well for me too.

Esuohlim · #61

I actually had a ton of problems learning to ride a bike.

Oh joy.

kahljorn · #62

"Okay, I'll bite: how does what I do hurt anyone?"
HOW DOES HAVING SEX HURT ANYONE? YOU MEAN IN BETWEEN THE ROUNDS OF ORGASMING AND SCREAMING EACHOTHERS NAMES WHEN THEY ACCIDENTLY HIT THEIR HEAD ON THE BEDPOST? You're right, that can be painful.

I had ahard time learning to swim, I learned real good when I was five and jumped in a 8 feet deep pool without a life vest, though.

CaptainBubba · #63

Quote:

YOU MEAN IN BETWEEN THE ROUNDS OF ORGASMING AND SCREAMING EACHOTHERS NAMES

I'm a virgin. And just by reading that one statement combined with your previous ones, I am positive beyond a doubt that you are a virgin as well.

kahljorn · #64

that or sarcastic. I'm actually homosexual now a days, I haven't had sex with a girl since my young years, and everytime I did I was spun in some shape or form, so even in my virgin birth I lasted a good hour or more, depending on how much had been snifflegated.

Anonymous · #65

i really don't feel like continuing on this arguing-for-the-sake-of-arguing crap. so i'll jus say 'yes, i admit that dressing in pink is exactly proportional to destroying someone's self-esteem and making them cry.'

we're gettin more and more homoes on the boards these days.
i've lost count :<

kahljorn · #66

I was gay before anyone.

Professor Cool · #67

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin

my first time was pretty good, captain isuckatsex :<

Well your prostitute knew what he/she was doing.

And if anything it's professor isuckatsex

My second time was great.

kellychaos · #68

No more bicycle metaphors! :ihaveachopper

LobsterMagnet · #69

Professor Cool basically summed up how I saw it.

I am still a virgin, but not much of one. And I've got a reason to strut, along with a tagged up neck.

See... I understand that I need to be myself, but it's hard to be yourself when you're doing something you've never done before with someone else who's never done it either. It's hard not to be anxious and cautious and unsure of what to expect.

I was just looking for some advice to put some of those questions to rest.

Oh well... she comes back on Tuesday...