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  #26  
Protoclown Protoclown is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 12:42 PM       
words fail me
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  #27  
AChimp AChimp is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 02:54 PM       
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  #28  
Jixby Phillips Jixby Phillips is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 03:22 PM        POPINSKI HAS PROBLEM
I AM GREATEST MAN EVER TO LIVE IN RUSSIA. I HAVE FINE STRONG WOMAN IN MY LIFE. HER NAME IS HELGA AND SHE IS THE GREAT POPINSKI'S WIFE.

POPINSKI'S PROBLEM IS I CAN NOT DECIDE BETWEEN MY DRINKS AND MY WIFE! THE GREAT POPINSKI ONLY HAS THE TIME TO DEDICATE ALL OF HIS ENERGY TO ONE OF THESE THINGS. SO WHAT SHOULD POPINSKI DEDICATE HIMSELF TO?

THE ALCOHOL OR MY WIFE HELGA?

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  #29  
The_voice_of_reason The_voice_of_reason is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 03:25 PM       
Only alcohol can make Helga bearable.
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  #30  
Jixby Phillips Jixby Phillips is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 03:31 PM        Re: ummm......
I don't teach ghosts about love

"Spike Jonze is a little fucking bitch." -Malkovitch
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  #31  
Mike Mike is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 04:53 PM       
Helga nye ochin lyubit' vodka? U tebya yest' stranno zhyena. :/ Ehh....Ya hachoo pit'
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  #32  
James James is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 04:56 PM       
This WASN'T a serious thread? Well, I never!

I thought it was serious, and treated it as such. But it turns out it's just a big joke! Or maybe you are just backpeddling because you are such a loser!

I'm officially so cool now.
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  #33  
KILLADEUCE KILLADEUCE is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 04:56 PM       
mmmmmmmmmmmm Vodka-

Gray Goose isnt all that bad actually
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  #34  
FartinMowler FartinMowler is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 05:03 PM       
Take a picture of yourself with a vibrator. If girls don't find you handsome atleast they will find you handy.
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  #35  
O71394658 O71394658 is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2003, 06:31 PM       
Definitely see this link:

The Ladder Theory

If that doesn't work, send them this link:

Make Me A Sandwich
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  #36  
wreckreation wreckreation is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2003, 01:04 AM       
THIS IS THE INTERNET, TAKE A CHILL PILL
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  #37  
soundtest soundtest is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2003, 02:49 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by O71394658
Definitely see this link:

The Ladder Theory
O71394658, after reading that I msg'd this girl I've been wanting to be with for like a year and pasted that link followed by "This is why I can never speak to you again."

Thanks!
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  #38  
CaptainBubba CaptainBubba is offline
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Old Jul 28th, 2003, 08:42 PM       
I can't think of a single reason why this thread shouldn't be a sticky.
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  #39  
crash0814 crash0814 is offline
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Old Jul 30th, 2003, 08:56 PM       
Hey! I like Spike Jonze!
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  #40  
sadie sadie is offline
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Old Jul 31st, 2003, 02:20 AM       
Hey! My name is crash0814, and I'm a moron!
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  #41  
Royal Tenenbaum Royal Tenenbaum is offline
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Old Jul 31st, 2003, 05:10 PM       
Sadie finally provides a useful and excellent response.
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  #42  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Aug 1st, 2003, 12:26 PM       
May I suggest Match.com? I met my bf on there. We've been together for 7 months.
Hint: Use your AIM name. Then, pick out the names of people you like and stick them on your AIM list. Talk to them and see if its the same person. Sometimes it is.
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  #43  
sadie sadie is offline
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Old Aug 1st, 2003, 12:57 PM       
omg. let me pop my jaw back into place, so i can say that you, snakeass, just haven't been paying close attention.

and jeanette, do you and your boyfriend live in the same vicinity?
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  #44  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Aug 1st, 2003, 12:58 PM       
He's about 2 hours away. Could be worse.
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  #45  
KILLADEUCE KILLADEUCE is offline
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Old Aug 1st, 2003, 02:30 PM       
Match.com doesnt seem like a terribly bad idea, but i am very wary of doing any type of dating through the net... Half the time you don't even know the true Gender of some of these people...

I mean you meat a "Girl" on match.com... Wine her... Dine her... Get her home. Put ya hand's Down her pant's and ya holding a tree trunk...

<Shameless Dice clay rip-off>
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  #46  
shadetree shadetree is offline
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Old Aug 30th, 2003, 07:58 PM       
Go to the mall, jump up on a table in the foodcourt. Remove your shirt with a simple tearing manoeuvre. Beat your chest with your fists while shouting jungle-like phrases and uttrances.

Or else volunteer for something hot girls like. This does not include suprise sex.
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  #47  
CaptainBubba CaptainBubba is offline
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Old Aug 30th, 2003, 08:12 PM       
1. BAKE HER A CAKE. BUT HOLD IT AT YOUR WAIST AND WHEN SHE PUTS HER HAND IN THE CAKE SHELL GRAB YOUR DICK. GIRLS CANT RESIST A CLEVER GUY.

2. SCALP HER. THE EVENT WILL BRING YOU CLOSER TOGETHER AND ESTABLISH A MEANINGFUL BOND. FOR BROWNIE POINTS YOU CAN THROW THE SCALP IN THE FISHBOWL.

3. VERBALLY ABUSE HER. THIS DOESN'T REALLY GET YOU ANY CLOSER BUT IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT END UP KILLING HER.

4. MAKE HER A CARD. OK THIS ONE IS A NO GO. SORRY.

5. WEAR HER CLOTHES. THIS WAY SHE'LL HAVE TO WALK AROUND NAKED UNTIL YOU LET HER HAVE THEM BACK. TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.

6. KILL HER LOVED ONES. WHEN THEY'RE ALL GONE YOU'LL BE THE ONLY ONE SHE HAS TO TURN TO.

7. RAPE HER.

8. PAINT YOUSELF BLACK. JUNGLE FEVER. NUFF SAID.

9. USE THE WORD "CUNT" LIBERALLY. IT HELPS TO KNOW WHAT TURNS A GAL ON.

10. KILL YOURSELF. CHICKS DIG A GUY WHO PLANS FOR THE FUTURE
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  #48  
shadetree shadetree is offline
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Old Aug 30th, 2003, 08:20 PM       
CaptainBubba can you rape my face now?

HGUHUAGAHUGAUGHGOODHUAGUGHHOAOHOAO
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  #49  
Blue Blue is offline
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Old Aug 30th, 2003, 11:10 PM       
I met my girl in a chat room and now were engaged eheh. Just dont bother getting involved with someone 50000 miles away. Its a waste of time if you cant see them.
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  #50  
Phil the anorak Phil the anorak is offline
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Old Aug 31st, 2003, 02:27 PM        Re: Best way to get a girlfriend??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips
So... what is it? I'm always in the girlfriend market, and if you've got any tips to making myself more relationshiply viable, let me know.
Go to a bar, take out your dick and hold it while crying. Failing that, get some Rohypnol.

Otherwise, just be yourself unless you are like Charles Manson.
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