I present to you The Biggest Douchebag On The Planet:
~ MUCH BIGGER THAN ALL PREVIOUS DOUCHEBAGS ~
The benefits of not having to room with said douchebag are:
1. All trash will now be placed IN the trash can and not NEXT to it.
2. No more angry white/black boy music.
3. No more stumbling into bowls full of week-old vomit in the dark.
4. No more getting kicked out the room because he has brought back the flock from Bessie's Milk Farm for a hump.
5. No more having to smell the reek of bovine aftersex.
6. No more having to resist the temptation to crack his pitiful stick-arms into tiny strips of kindling.
7. NO MORE TIMOTHY PRYOR. THANK. FUCKING. GOD.
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