Features

Malevolent · #1

First, do not click on the 'Post New Topic' button. Do not type 'How to get a girlfriend' in the subject line. Do not offer your shitty advice. Do not try to be funny. Do not waste bandwith. If you find this difficult, amputate your hands with a bandsaw so you can no longer type.

AChimp · #2

Thread #666!

*ahem!*

The only "best way" thread that should be allowed is one made by ME, since I am the creator of the original.

Carnivore · #3

Well I told you to copyright the phrase, Chimp, but you couldn't be bothered. Now look at the results! Look at the results!

punkgrrrlie10 · #4

You can't have a copyright in phrases, titles or sayings.

AChimp · #5

Easy for you to say; you probably already have a girlfriend.

Protoclown · #6

Quote:

Originally Posted by AChimp

Easy for you to say; you probably already have a girlfriend.

If that's in response to Punkgrrlie, IT MADE ME LOL

NONBonham · #7

Quote:

hey it's alright for punkgrrrlie to have an alternative lifestyle.

punkgrrrlie10 · #8

My goal is to have an alternative lifestyle. Alas, I like boys.

Protoclown · #9

Alas, indeed. Us boys is stupid.

DiRt GuY · #10

So if you cut off one hand with a saw how do you hold the saw to lob off the other?

:onebloodystump

Zebra 3 · #11

"Ugh!?!"

sadie · #12

there's always my left foot.

Skulhedface · #13

Protoclown, ya gotta be more optimistic!

And there is a way to amputate the other hand (I'd love to see this get turned into a mini-mock.. I'm such an evil bastard.)

What you do is, you go to Shop Class. Now for those of you like me who have long since graduated, don't worry, this will still apply to you because do you think you're going to get arrested for trespassing if you go to amputate your own hands? I think not! A friendly lifelong stay to the Psych Ward is more what I see in the cards)
Once you get into said Shop Class, you instantly start to look for the table with the circular saw on it, the one that is always on (I believe it has a FOOT switch)
Stick one hand into the saw, repeat with other hand, arrange for the arresting officers to dial 911, and you're all set.

Carnivore · #14

A bandsaw is not a handheld saw. You could easily cut off both hands with one.

Skulhedface · #15

Well, I'm no Shop Major.. I had no clue! I took Woodshop in 6th Grade, and got kicked out because I was trying to make a Wooden Sword. Say what you will, but I was a child of the 80s, I was obsessed with Legend Of Zelda for YEARS. And, I guess they didn't like having knives in school, even wooden ones.

Nevertheless, now I know what kind of saw it was. One thing though, I never could get any of them confused with a CHAINSAW.

Yep. Another 80s obsession (that continues to this day!) were B-movie Chainsaw flicks. God Bless Mindless Entertainment!

wreckreation · #16

you ARE mindless.

my impression of you.

"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah i talk like i think people care and i act like i know stuff and have interesting things to say"

you don't have anything to contribute and you are not interesting. so zip it.

Skulhedface · #17

And "contributing" is starting a "fight" in a thread that has absolutely nothing to do with it. Interesting. Tell me more, Professor. Interesting that you should say I talk like I know everything but when I got corrected on the last post, I admitted I didn't know what it was.
Strike One.
I never came in claiming that I wanted people to care. People get whatever the hell they want out of it, and obviously all you wanted out of it was an excuse to put someone down and try your very limited best to make it witty.
Strike Two.
You seem to talk the exact same way. The difference is, I don't slam random people and random posts to gain the acceptance of the other people. Otherwise, why the hell would you care?
Strike Three.

Go lay down.