Jun 25th, 2008, 11:04 AM
Jeanette' s Adventures in Medicine Part 2: The CAT scan
Well...
As many of you are already aware from my thread about the stool test, I have a unexplained stomach ailment. Therefore, my gastroenterologist sent me for a CAT scan.
This involved waking up early, and swallowing a drug cocktail that was the most disgusting thing that I have ever tasted in my entire life. It looked like bile and tasted like bile. I added sugar, sugar, and more sugar, but it still tasted like shit. If I have to do this in the future I will add Jello mix to disguise the bitter flavor, as I couldn't mix it with anything carbonated and I feared that orange juice might irritate my stomach. Furthermore, I had to drink it nice and slow, over a period of half an hour, rather than just holding my nose and chugging it down. I had to leave some in the jar to take right before I had the test, oh yum.
I got to the hospital and was heavily nauseated from this taste of this delicious nectar, to the point where the sign-in lady asked me if I was okay. I informed her of my problem and showed her the bottle, at which she looked properly sympathetic.
They took the remainder of the bottle, poured it into a cup, and mixed it with what appeared to be an Alka-Seltzer, so that it fizzed nicely and didn't taste too bad when I drank the rest. It actually seemed to calm my stomach a little bit, which was nice.
I went in and lay down on the table. I had to undo my pants so the zipper wouldn't get in the way of my abdomen, and hike up my bra because of the underwire. Luckily I got to do all this under the privacy of a blanket that had been thoughtfully provided. The machine was about what you would expect, except that it had two odd smiley faces, one with its mouth open like Pacman, and the other with the mouth closed and its cheeks bulging. I was to hold my breath when the latter one was lit, and they also had the machine give me instructions to do so in its robotic voice, just in case I was too stupid to understand.
"Breathe. In."
"Hold. Your. Breath."
"Breathe!"
Thank you mister CAT scan machine, I never would have figured that out on my own.
The only thing pleasant about the experience was the injection they gave me. It dilates blood vessels, so right after they administered it, I got a wonderful warm sensation that started in my abdomen and rapidly spread to the rest of my body. It was like when you drink a shot of alcohol and feel pleasantly warm in your center. When it reached my crotch the warm feeling felt oddly like I was wetting my pants. It was over and done with very quickly. I felt nauseated most of the day, and I had a bitter taste in my mouth as well. I'm going to call the doctor about the results and find out what's going on with my belly. Edit: I just called, he's going to call me back. Or at least he better.
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