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  #1  
pac-man pac-man is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 01:07 AM        Cock block from above.
I got cock blocked by God. I have faced many a human blocker in my day, but never did I think the almighty would find the time smite me where it really smotes. Long story short, 3 months of happy relationship are now all but over thanks to my girl deciding that she's no longer happy with my confessed agnosticism. God is her number one guy, heart and soul. Whatever I get from here on out is at best His sloppy seconds. All this time she's been calling out another guy's name, when I just thought I was doing good. How the fuck do you match up with the creator? I mean, I'm not chopped liver, but I can't raise the dead and shit. Totally not fair. Anyone else get blocked by a supernatural force or have a good/funny cock blocked story?
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  #2  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 01:10 AM       
You made me laugh.
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Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
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  #3  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 01:19 AM       
So are you an atheist now?
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  #4  
pac-man pac-man is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 01:22 AM       
Nah. If I were atheist I wouldn't believe that God could blocketh my cocketh.
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  #5  
pac-man pac-man is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 01:47 AM       
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You made me laugh.
I'm a funny guy.
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  #6  
liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 02:38 AM       
dont push it
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  #7  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 03:13 AM       
UHH TISS PUSH IT

PUSH IT REAL GOOD
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Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
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  #8  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 08:22 AM       
back with another of those cock blockin beats *electornic music*
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[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
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  #9  
Kybo Ren Kybo Ren is offline
ni kar'tayl gar darasuum
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 01:49 PM       
Look at the bright side- God blocked your cock with a "swaying of minds/hearts" instead of his "Fire & Brimstone" shctick.
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Urgency without Panic, Action without Thoughtlessness.
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  #10  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 02:58 PM       
Talking to a pursuit just now, I related a story about seeing an affectionate reference to myself in the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section and emailing the mystery person with "hey sorry I have gf now anyways my name is Seth", with the addendum, "There is no worse cockblock than integrity."
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SETH ME IMPRIMI FECIT
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  #11  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jul 21st, 2008, 09:32 PM       
I was expecting you to get cockblocked by Godfrey from the real world.
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God speed you meddling kids.
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  #12  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jul 23rd, 2008, 01:25 PM       
All things considered, you're probably better off.

There are loads of perfectly nice agnostic chicks out there.
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  #13  
JJ_Maniac JJ_Maniac is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2008, 03:26 PM       
A fire 'n brimstone cock-block sounds painful.
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  #14  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
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Old Jul 25th, 2008, 03:34 PM       
Better than turning you impotent.
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  #15  
HickMan HickMan is offline
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Old Jul 26th, 2008, 09:23 AM       
Every time a girl screams "Oh God" when I'm having sex with her I slap her and say "Tony Danza, bitch!". That's how it works, right?
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  #16  
Hangie Hangie is offline
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Old Jul 29th, 2008, 10:29 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by pac-man View Post
I got cock blocked by God.

The clouds will part and the sky cracks open
And God himself will reach his fucking cock through
Just to push you down
Just to hold you down
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Yeah I'm gonna equip myself with a little uhh FOUR WHEELS OF FURY!
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  #17  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Aug 4th, 2008, 02:07 PM       
Wait, did she yell out God's name in the sack? That would be awkward at best....
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  #18  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
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Old Aug 4th, 2008, 04:02 PM       
Switch from confessed agnosticism to agnosticism.
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Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


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