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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 04:37 PM        Chimp attack
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=...-chimpanzee-at

This happened in my state. Apparently the owner fed the chimp some Xanax and it went berserk.

The thing that intrigues me about this is that I've noticed a pattern with chimp attacks. Other great apes will bite and scratch your arms and legs, but chimps seem intent on disfiguring their victims. This isn't the first time a one has literally ripped someone's face off. I can't help but wonder if its active malice on their part rather than just an instinctive thing.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 04:40 PM       
It's not something I feel the need to figure out.
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 04:51 PM       
The 911 call recording for this was hilarious.

But yeah, chimps can be nasty. I watched a documentary years ago about how they kill and mutilate the bodies of other chimps and shit like that.
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 05:31 PM       


"That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!"
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 06:07 PM       
Makes sense to me. Take out the face and you remove access to sensory data. Although Frans de Waal has a darker view on the matter:

"You can not have cruelty in creatures that donít have empathy. Ironically enough, for example a shark can do a lot of damage, it can hurt you very terribly, but I donít, donít think a shark can be cruel, it doesnít have the brains to understand what the effect is of its actions. Now chimpanzees do have that kind of understanding. Chimpanzees have empathy and sympathy and so as a result they can also inflict pain on purpose I think."

A male chimp is probably the worst possible pet of all great apes. Bonobos are horny and utterly peaceful. (Though I guess for a pet the constant sexual presentation would get a bit awkward) Gorillas are hulking but docile, silverbacks will fight over harems but it's mostly ritualistic and deaths are rare, though they will kill the offspring of competing males. Male orangutans are rapists and make terrible pets as well. Gibbons are speed freaks that only want to fling poop and do george of the jungle shit all day long.

But chimps are just fucked up cannibals that wage war on competing social groups, eat theirs and others' young, and fashion weapons to hunt adorable lesser primates like bushbabies.

NYtimes quote:
"Ms. Nashís injuries were so horrific ó Ms. Herold told a 911 dispatcher that her pet was eating Ms. Nash ó that the hospital was providing counseling to the staff members who treated her. Mr. Orstad said some members of the team that initially treated Ms. Nash had already sought counseling."
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 06:28 PM       


How long do you think before they'll start putting chimps in prison? I'll give them 20 years.
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 06:38 PM       


I'd say we already do. Now if we start giving them trials I'm for real leaving the country.
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 09:02 PM       
Quote:
The thing that intrigues me about this is that I've noticed a pattern with chimp attacks. Other great apes will bite and scratch your arms and legs, but chimps seem intent on disfiguring their victims. This isn't the first time a one has literally ripped someone's face off. I can't help but wonder if its active malice on their part rather than just an instinctive thing.
Maybe it's an instictive thing they do to disable/slow down their opponents.

I read something once about llamas automatically going for their opponent's scrotum, which I found out when reading an article about one attacking a guy (fortunately, the guy was rescued before the llama could attack that particular part of his body).
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Old Feb 19th, 2009, 09:11 PM       
It's no different than when a cat goes for the throat/jugular vein. Animals aren't stupid in that regard. They know how to disable you and they've all got their favorite method.
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Old Feb 20th, 2009, 02:04 PM       
Humans aren't very imposing enemies. Think for a second, how many animals can we fight unarmed and win almost every time? Anything bigger than a coyote can kick our ass, which is pretty sad considering an average 100lb size advantage.
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Old Feb 20th, 2009, 02:14 PM       


I'd say humans are pretty imposing.
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Old Feb 20th, 2009, 02:47 PM       
the key word was "unarmed" LOL
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Old Feb 20th, 2009, 03:01 PM       
Yeah, but only gator wrasslers or retards would/should attempt to fight an animal unarmed. Even a house cat would fuck up an average person. To say humans are unimposing, though... I guess I mean to say that I've seen more animals cower in fear of humans than vice versa.
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Old Feb 20th, 2009, 03:16 PM       
Well. We probably do smell like shit to them.
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Old Feb 20th, 2009, 03:22 PM       
Probably...
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Old Mar 1st, 2009, 10:29 PM       
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Originally Posted by VaporTrailx1 View Post
Well. We probably do smell like shit to them.
Probably. My dog always sniffs me like crazy whenever I come home.

And honestly, if people got rid of genetically engineered fruits and vegetables, climate control, all those things that we use to control the environment, a whole bunch of us would die as per the laws of population (when a population grows greater than the amount of natural resources can handle, the population starts to die out until there are enough resources to sustain them).
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Old Mar 1st, 2009, 10:41 PM       
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...I proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16; Austin 3:16 says, "I just whipped your ass!"
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Mar 2nd, 2009, 11:14 PM       
I would fight a a chimp if I had to barehanded.....in a junkyard.

This eventully get's related back to this:
My friend's cat had a litter and offered me one. I told her I wanted one but couldn't because of roommate's allergies. She told me to tell him it was a monkey instead of a kitten. I asked my roommate if he wanted a chimp.

He said: "I wouldn't know what to feed him. Do they sell face at the pet store?"
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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Mar 2nd, 2009, 11:53 PM       
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Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost View Post
I would fight a a chimp if I had to barehanded.....in a junkyard.
You are aware than an adult chimp is at least 3 times as strong as an adult human male, right? I mean, even that's a fairly conservative estimate...
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Old Mar 3rd, 2009, 12:38 AM       
In a junkyard, though. With any luck he can find something to brain the monkey with before it gets at him.
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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Mar 3rd, 2009, 02:44 AM       
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In a junkyard, though. With any luck he can find something to brain the monkey with before it gets at him.
Pfft. Chimps can use bludgeons too. And they aren't monkeys, they're apes.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Mar 3rd, 2009, 02:46 AM       
Yeah, but they can't set booby traps!

























Boobies!
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Mar 3rd, 2009, 04:57 AM       
Exactly! I would use my human intellect and my bare hands to rip the chimp in two....if I had to.

I would use my bare hands to latch onto a crane and drop him into a car crusher....if I had to.


I would MANhandle him...if I had to.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Mar 3rd, 2009, 06:00 AM       
You just wanna rape monkey butts in a junkyard
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Mar 3rd, 2009, 10:23 AM       
Well the chimp also can hold stuff with his feet, so he technically has twice as many hands as you do.
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