Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Site Forums > Article Discussion
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
MockBot MockBot is offline
I ARE ROBOT
MockBot's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: I-Mockery Headquarters, USA
Old May 28th, 2009, 05:35 AM        3D Realms: A Post Mortem
Automatically generated comment thread for 3D Realms: A Post Mortem.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
OxBlood OxBlood is offline
drifting in the void
OxBlood's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Germany
Old May 28th, 2009, 05:44 AM       
I have a very simple formula: There are two reasons why the development of a Video-/Computergame can take more than five years:

a) You´re Blizzard Entertainment

b) You´re just slow and your game will have a 75% Chance to suck quite a bit.

or in this case, there´s a special C:

c) You´re a bunch of lazy liars that couldn´t get a mediocre game done, even if your job depended on it. Fits 3d Realms post-Duke3d rather well I think


I sometimes wonder, what the hell they were doing all the time (Drinking in Mexico, smoking Crack in Atlantis, every 3 months, someone has to write a half-assed excuse why they don´t have anything to show...again) and why the publishers couldn´t see through such an obvious charade...ah well.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Doctor_Who Doctor_Who is offline
Last of the Time Lords
Doctor_Who's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old May 28th, 2009, 05:49 AM       
Ah, DNF. So fun to tease my gamer friends about. In some ways I think they actually prefer this to the damn thing getting released.

After 12 years, each copy of the game could come with a free clone of the centerfold of your choice and it still wouldn't live up to the hype. At least now, the Nukem fans can pretend that it really would have been the shining beacon of perfection they always dreamed about.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
BurnPianoBurn BurnPianoBurn is offline
I am Johnny Luchador
BurnPianoBurn's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: KY
Old May 28th, 2009, 09:50 AM       
I myself also waited for this game Dr. boogie. I had faith that 3d Realms could do it, but what it all comes down to is that Duke Nukem Forever is mythical like the Sasquatch, and the McRib Sandwich at McDonalds.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old May 28th, 2009, 10:29 AM       
I'm sure someone could have even made a half decent DNF knockoff from a half life mod by now.

.....Someone go do that.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
RevengeVirus RevengeVirus is offline
Member
RevengeVirus's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2008
Old May 28th, 2009, 11:11 AM       
We all know the best Build engine FPS was Blood, and Monolith needs to get off their asses and make a Blood 3 instead of fucking up the FEAR franchise.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Aries Aries is offline
skank pronger
Aries's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Providence/Boston
Old May 28th, 2009, 11:22 AM       
By not being released, DNF has achieved legendary status like the Beach Boys' "Smile" or Prince's "Black Album."
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Angryhydralisk Angryhydralisk is offline
What Video Games?
Angryhydralisk's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Too Carefree For It's Own Good, Kentucky
Old May 28th, 2009, 11:31 AM       
Stange article. But it is amusing to see how this game played itself through. Sadly, Starcraft: Ghost's tepid story isn't nearly aas amusing as this.

RIP Duke Nukem. Shame you couldn't take Lara Croft with you. Gamepro had a wierd knack of coupling you two together (Hell, are they still around? I know EGM & Tips&Tricks are gone. Or at least a couple videogame mags are gone.)
Reply With Quote
  #9  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
Token Bleeding Heart
LordSappington's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Intermission in the THIRD DIMENSION
Old May 28th, 2009, 01:05 PM       
This made me pretty depressed over all the great games that COULD have been made, but were scrapped at the last minute. Hell, I was freaking out for Ghost and DNF so bad...
Reply With Quote
  #10  
wastedsage wastedsage is offline
A little slice of wisdom
wastedsage's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Heart Of Dixie, but I ain't no redneck!
Old May 28th, 2009, 02:34 PM       
I remember playing a 2D side scroller version of Duke back in the day before the game resembled doom.

I'm going to miss you Duke. ( Dies inside)
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Joe Musashi Joe Musashi is offline
Shinobi Hero
Joe Musashi's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Wherever there are ninjas.
Old May 28th, 2009, 11:36 PM       
I loved them better when they used to be Apogee. Man, they had awesome games back then... I'm going to miss those guys.

Duke Nukem 3D was a title of 3D Realms' that I was proud to own when I first got it in 1996. I've still got it intact in it's entirety, manual, jewel case and all, for the past 13 years! Had a lot of good times playing it, too. Plus, it came with the full versions of the first Duke Nukem and Duke Nukem II, which made it even more worthwhile.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Julio Julio is offline
Member
Julio's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas
Old May 28th, 2009, 11:39 PM       
Videogames in the 90's were just awesome. I remember having CD's full of demos and wanting to have the original version of everyone I liked. Playing the demos was enough to keep me entertained for a good while. The shareware edition of Doom is the prime example.

Nice article, doc. Keep up the research.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Julio Julio is offline
Member
Julio's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas
Old May 28th, 2009, 11:41 PM       
By the way, I have to agree with OxBlood and Angryhydralisk about games from Blizzard Entertainment that are delayed for plenty of time without notice. Starcraft II is taking too damn long and it is evident that Starcraft Ghost is a dead topic.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old May 29th, 2009, 02:08 AM       
The thing with Blizzard is that while one of their A-list titles was taking a while, you could be sure there was another game/expansion for a different series coming up a year or two later. Lately, it's been just a stream of WoW expansions, but who knows. Maybe Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the new IP they're developing will get things back on track again.
__________________
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


Reply With Quote
  #15  
rizzo rizzo is offline
is hopped up on goofballs
rizzo's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Labyrinths of Coral Caves
Old May 29th, 2009, 12:01 PM       
Not to point anyone to someone else's site, but Yahtzee's "review" of DNF is goddamn hilarious.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Doctor_Who Doctor_Who is offline
Last of the Time Lords
Doctor_Who's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old May 29th, 2009, 01:27 PM       
Yeah, I watched that. It's got to be his best one yet.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old May 29th, 2009, 02:55 PM       
It really is spectacular. I don't think there's any other way to handle this tragedy than with irony.
__________________
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


Reply With Quote
  #18  
Nick Nick is offline
pickled
Nick's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bama
Old May 29th, 2009, 04:19 PM       
I liked watching that video of the unreleased game. It looked fun.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Kat Kat is offline
Breathes Comics
Kat's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: 70 mph
Old May 29th, 2009, 04:51 PM       
Give me god mode, and RPG, and five minutes.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Mockery Mockery is offline
Pickled Patriarch
Mockery's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Old May 29th, 2009, 06:49 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie View Post
The thing with Blizzard is that while one of their A-list titles was taking a while, you could be sure there was another game/expansion for a different series coming up a year or two later. Lately, it's been just a stream of WoW expansions, but who knows. Maybe Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the new IP they're developing will get things back on track again.
Having played both games, I can say that they are definitely going to rule - particularly Diablo 3. That is honestly the nicest looking, smoothest game I've ever had the change to play and I look forward to it taking over my life.

Starcraft 2 is gonna be a blast as well, though I wish they weren't splitting it up into those 3 separate releases. They can say it was for whatever reason they want, but to us gamers, it just looks like money-grubbing.
__________________
Talent, vigor, drive...
You'll eat peanut butter the rest of your life.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Julio Julio is offline
Member
Julio's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas
Old May 29th, 2009, 09:21 PM       
What I would like to know is how the hell has Deckard Cain managed to stay alive during all the saga. How come that a guy that already looked old enough in the first Diablo still has his wrinkly old ass 20 years after the events in Diablo II?
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Chuggernaught Chuggernaught is offline
Former Virgin
Chuggernaught's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: AMERICA! F@CK YEAH!
Old May 29th, 2009, 09:24 PM       
I think it would be spectacular if they announced the release and made a huge show of it. It would start with one really good level that turns into a rick roll. Every copy. A rick roll. It would be the ultimate fu to the fans. Then we could all move on.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Earthbound_X Earthbound_X is offline
Forum Virgin
Earthbound_X's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Old May 30th, 2009, 02:27 AM       
Very nice article, very funny.

While I've never even played any of the DN games, I can't really expect DNF to have been all that great for all the hypes it's gotten.

Your still my favorite writer on this site Boogie, you gonna be working on any more ROM hack reviews anytime soon?
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
Clap if you love Dynamo
Pentegarn's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: In a dystopian future
Old May 31st, 2009, 03:39 PM       
Chinese Democracy thinks Duke Nukem Forever was going too sluggishly :P
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old May 31st, 2009, 04:45 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthbound_X View Post
Very nice article, very funny.

While I've never even played any of the DN games, I can't really expect DNF to have been all that great for all the hypes it's gotten.

Your still my favorite writer on this site Boogie, you gonna be working on any more ROM hack reviews anytime soon?
I'm planning on getting back into rom hacks sooner or later. These days, I'm dividing my time between writing for the site and sending out resumés, so it's been slow going to say the least.
__________________
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:18 AM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.