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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
Queen of the Beasts
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: in my burrow
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 06:27 PM        A plea to my lower intestine



Dear Lower Intestine,
Please stop doing this to me. I beg of you. Stop doing weird, uncomfortable and occasionally frightening things to me. I will give you whatever you ask for; enemas of the purest glacial spring water, the softest velvety toilet paper, anything, as long as you just digest food the way you are supposed to and release it in healthy stool.I know we haven't always gotten along, but I was hoping that we had put all that behind us, especially now that I've had that nasty old gall bladder taken out. Yet, today, you chose to give me the trots. Now, the trots themselves I can deal with, but why did it smell like eggs? I mean, the bathroom smelled like a diner at breakfast rush, and I haven't eaten eggs in at least two or three days. That is very disconcerting. Also, why were there diced carrots in it? I haven't eaten those in two or three days either. Are you telling me that food is staying in my system that long? That it just sat there like a big lump? That's fucking strange. I'm 27 years old, I'm too young to be having health problems. Don't make me go back to the gastroenterologist. No more uncomfortable procedures like what I had to go through with the fucking gall bladder. I beg of you, stop doing this to me.
Jeanette X

Anyone have any advice? I'm really hoping this is a one off thing.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 06:30 PM       
You had better eat another tracer food just to make sure. One that you haven't eaten in a month.
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Terra Terra is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:37 PM       
You might have a virus. It's not uncommon to experience pre gall bladder symptoms if you're getting sick. If it's a virus it'll attack the weakest point in the body.
Oh fuck it
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Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
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Join Date: Apr 1999
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:50 PM       
um, i think food stays in you for quite some time, 2-3 days isn't long for that. there's a reason those 'system flushes' that pull out of all your crap on a string take something like 10 pounds off your weight ;<
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Nick Nick is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 11:33 PM       
Is anyone else as turned on as I am?
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Sam Sam is offline
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Old Nov 21st, 2009, 11:59 PM       
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 01:35 AM       
There's a poster named "MY LOWER INTESTINE"?
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Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Location: Non-trendy NYC enclave
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 05:08 PM       
girls arent supposed to fart
"We're equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island."
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