Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
Queen of the Beasts
Jeanette X's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: in my burrow
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 06:27 PM        A plea to my lower intestine
WARNING! THIS IS GROSS! I MEAN IT!

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!

SERIOUSLY!

Dear Lower Intestine,
Please stop doing this to me. I beg of you. Stop doing weird, uncomfortable and occasionally frightening things to me. I will give you whatever you ask for; enemas of the purest glacial spring water, the softest velvety toilet paper, anything, as long as you just digest food the way you are supposed to and release it in healthy stool.I know we haven't always gotten along, but I was hoping that we had put all that behind us, especially now that I've had that nasty old gall bladder taken out. Yet, today, you chose to give me the trots. Now, the trots themselves I can deal with, but why did it smell like eggs? I mean, the bathroom smelled like a diner at breakfast rush, and I haven't eaten eggs in at least two or three days. That is very disconcerting. Also, why were there diced carrots in it? I haven't eaten those in two or three days either. Are you telling me that food is staying in my system that long? That it just sat there like a big lump? That's fucking strange. I'm 27 years old, I'm too young to be having health problems. Don't make me go back to the gastroenterologist. No more uncomfortable procedures like what I had to go through with the fucking gall bladder. I beg of you, stop doing this to me.
Sincerely,
Jeanette X

Anyone have any advice? I'm really hoping this is a one off thing.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
Tadao's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 06:30 PM       
You had better eat another tracer food just to make sure. One that you haven't eaten in a month.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Terra Terra is offline
MAMA MIA!
Terra's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:37 PM       
You might have a virus. It's not uncommon to experience pre gall bladder symptoms if you're getting sick. If it's a virus it'll attack the weakest point in the body.
__________________
Oh fuck it
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
Chojin's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 1999
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 07:50 PM       
um, i think food stays in you for quite some time, 2-3 days isn't long for that. there's a reason those 'system flushes' that pull out of all your crap on a string take something like 10 pounds off your weight ;<
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Nick Nick is offline
pickled
Nick's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bama
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 11:33 PM       
Is anyone else as turned on as I am?
__________________
"RAAARGH! DOMO-KUN SMASH PUNY WEBSITE!"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Old Nov 21st, 2009, 11:59 PM       
EAT SOME CORN
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 01:35 AM       
There's a poster named "MY LOWER INTESTINE"?
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
hAS RUG-BURN
Evil Robot's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Non-trendy NYC enclave
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 05:08 PM       
girls arent supposed to fart
__________________
"We're equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island."
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:04 PM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.