May 12th, 2011, 12:27 AM
Hope for an asexual?
I've never been attracted to the opposite sex. This is something I've found to be sort of distressing, seeing as how I'm not into the same sex, either. I'm just not interested in sex, with humans, at all. I'm also not attracted to farm animals.
While I'm mentally attracted to women, they like a guy to appreciate their breasts and vagina, but neither of those do anything for me. The only thing that does is making out. Do that enough, and she's going to want sex right then and there; I'd rather just cuddle and that feels like a tease.
Is it really possible to find someone who likes you for who you are to maybe the point of even marrying you even if there's no prospect of ever sleeping together? It's not for want of a platonic relationship, but when I've dated in the past I've always gone for personality, and preferred a girl who was looking for everything but sex. These days, that almost doesn't exist, but it's really offensive to me when I go on one of those dating sites looking for something real and genuine and the girl says "oh, you're just saying you don't want sex. You're a guy." No, I really don't want sex. When I was a kid, I even thought sex was taboo and didn't think I'd ever find a girl who liked me enough to want to do it.
Well, I'm not one of those men who is happy to brag about how much he gets laid, and I've only slept with three women since 2003 after a bad breakup. We didn't even do any of that stuff while we were together, because she was a Christian girl and was waiting for marriage. I was happy with what we had, but didn't show it enough, and it ended. After that, I met someone who was fun to hang out with and we did almost nothing but f*ck. I wasn't in love with her though, so it felt like an empty gesture. That was 2004.
In the past year I've had sex once and it was great but our personalities weren't compatible. Every year that passes represents fewer opportunities to settle down and start a family. I don't want to be a hermit, but I'm not able to talk to girls at all. There are some really hot ones who come in all night at work, but all I can think about is that they have either a brother, dad, boyfriend, or husband who would beat my ass for looking at her. This leads to a conditioned avaoidance of eye contact and not saying much.
I wish I was more confident around women... That's something I'd really like to change...but on the other hand, given that I'm not attracted to them, it doesn't seem like there's any point in talking to them.
Is being asexual really the end of the world?