Halloween

The Greatest Horror Movie Moments!
by: Dr. Boogie

Black Christmas

In 1983, director Bob Clark gave us one of the most memorable Christmas movies of all time: A Christmas Story. Nine years earlier, however, he gave us another, slightly less celebrated Christmas movie: Black Christmas. For those who haven't seen it, the story involved a sorority full of girls being menaced by a serial killer, but it was mainly about the incompetence of the local police force, and how that incompetence allowed the killer to handily dispatch a group of whiny coeds.

The 2006 remake, on the other hand, was about something different altogether. Sure, the sorority house and serial killer element were still there, but this time, instead of focusing on how the police are a bunch of nitwits with short-term memory problems, the emphasis is mainly on eye trauma. Certainly there are other kills, including a few that hearken back to the original film, but the director almost invariably finds a way for someone's eyes to be poked out, or scooped out, or eaten. There was even symbolic eye trauma in places where people weren't being maimed, such as one scene that has a character punching a hole in a wall by gouging out the eye on a giant wall poster.

The other popular kills have the killer appearing near the victim briefly, followed by a cutaway shot and an inexplicable explosion of blood. For my money, however, the most truly memorable kill goes like this:

Sorority girl Melissa is worried about the scream she just heard. She's worried that her remaining friends may have gotten themselves into some trouble, but unfortunately, she's the one with the problem.

The killer throws a plastic bag over her head and it doesn't look good for her. Luckily, she just barely manages to break free and remove the bag, at which point she flees down the stairs, reunites with her friends, and they all kick the killer's ass.

No, but seriously, she runs back to her second-story room and prepares to jump out the window.

Oh, if only the manufacturer had thought to include a quick-release button in the event that a person had been so terrified of something that they forgot how to operate window latches.

Seconds into Melissa's struggle with the impertinent glass portal, the killer catches up with her. With no other inconvenient places to flee to, she decides on a new plan of action:

Beat the killer with a ski pole. And it really works, too. The killer is brought down by Melissa's merciless chops. Then, in spite of the fact that the killer is still holding a glass unicorn with an unusually large horn, Melissa drops the pole, turns her back on the killer, and starts wrestling with the window again.

This time, the killer is the one who gets to look at something for a new weapon idea. If only Melissa hadn't drawn his attention to her winter recreation gear.

Normally, it would probably be a little tougher to kill someone with an ice skate as opposed to just stabbing them with your overcompensating unicorn statue, but not when you use that skate like this:

He hurls the skate like... well, like an unbalanced shoe that flies perfectly straight anyway, and it chops off the back of Melissa's head. Thus, we learn that the reason she was making all these bad decisions was because of all that empty space in her skull.

That's really the best part of the movie. The rest you could pretty much do without. And no, I am not just saying that because the killer has the same haircut that I do.

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
Dr. Boogie

 

Reader Comments

Commarade General
Sep 4th, 2009, 10:51 AM
Wow... Ice skate to the head. Probably somewhat difficult to do it in reality, but at least it has originality (instead of slicing her throat with the blade, he decided to throw it like OddJob. Nice!)

-Commanderraf
Forum Virgin
Sep 4th, 2009, 11:02 AM
I can't say much for the remake, but the original is one of my all-time FAVORITE horror films. I actually think it has aged pretty well, and the iconic scene in the attic with the person with the bag over their head still gives me chills.
the axe and the smasher
Sep 4th, 2009, 01:00 PM
Yeah, I never bothered with the remake. The original was great and there's this rumor that the creator of the original basically gave John Carpenter his idea for Halloween which he originally conceived as a sequel to Black Christmas. Not sure how true that is, but still makes for a fun 'what if?' moment.
OH GOD
Sep 4th, 2009, 04:00 PM
who throws a shoe, honestly
Pickled Patriarch
Sep 4th, 2009, 05:58 PM
The original is definitely a classic that everybody should see.

The remake was handled like a horror-comedy, and they didn't really hold back with any of the kills like a lot of other modern remakes have, so I can at least appreciate it for that. Not that the movie needed to be remade since the original was fine.

As for my favorite moments in the remake, while the skate kill is indeed a good one, I'd have to go with the whole intro set up, showing him eating his special Christmas "cookies" 'n what not.
Funky Dynamite
Sep 4th, 2009, 06:25 PM
I thought the whole thing was lame, but I was never a huge fan of the original either.

Spoilers!


While I was watching the remake, it seemed like the eye-gouging stuff was just thrown in to add some extra shock to the whole thing. Then I found out that the original script didn't have any of that until Dimension demanded more gore.
grants but one wish
Sep 4th, 2009, 09:54 PM
it was allright (the movie) i've seen better, i've seen worse, it rated a true 'meh'
Member
Sep 4th, 2009, 11:20 PM
I was about to point out the emptiness of her cranium.
Forum Virgin
Sep 7th, 2009, 02:38 AM
I've browsed the site for some years, but I had to register to complain that Black Christmas (2006) got a mention on here before Black Christmas (1974), the latter of which is one of the greatest horror films ever made (not in terms of gore, but in terms of sheer suspense, tension, and terror) and the former of which was absolute shit.
Pickled Patriarch
Sep 7th, 2009, 03:47 AM
ZPowers: To be fair, if you read the article, pretty much the first thing Boogie discusses is the original Black Christmas movie. He's also not really a big fan of either version of the film, this section of the site is just for the greatest moments in any random horror movies, not a list of the greatest horror movies themselves.

That said, I knew as soon as he wrote it some big horror fans would come out to show their support for the original version heheh. Glad ya signed up on the site so you can now join in more o' the horror discussions this season.
pickled
Sep 7th, 2009, 08:49 AM
That's still a pretty weak kill in my book.
King of the Monsters
Sep 7th, 2009, 11:45 PM
wow... first good thing I've EVER read about Black X-Mas. :P

Preferred the first one, though it takes it's sweet damn time to get to the killing.
Member
Sep 8th, 2009, 07:12 AM
Movie was freaking terrible.
Forum Virgin
Sep 17th, 2009, 11:10 PM
Delicious.

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