by: Protoclown

With the Fright Night remake in theaters now, it seems like the perfect time to take a look back at the original classic. I had a hard time choosing between the moment where Chris Sarandon's vampire turns into a bat that looks like a rabid chihuahua and attacks our intrepid heroes or the melty moment depicted below, but I ended up choosing the latter because it's just so perfectly 1980s in its special effects that you just have to love it.

During the final confrontation where Charley Brewster and movie vampire hunter/ horror host Peter Vincent break into vampire Jerry Dandridge's house to rescue Charley's girlfriend, they encounter Dandridge's "live-in carpenter" who tries to halt their progress. I certainly got the impression that Dandridge's carpenter was a lot more than just that, and I'm sure there was quite a bit of "woodworking" going on, if you know what I mean. And though Dandridge is busy trying to get with Charley's girlfriend throughout the movie, it's a well-known fact that vampires swing every which way.

The carpenter, Billy Cole, calmly walks up the stairs though Vincent is pointing a gun right at him. He doesn't give a shit, because he's got to protect his vampire master, and he probably reckons that the old man, being no more than a b-movie actor, doesn't have the stones to kill him.

Well, boy was he wrong about that! He sure has egg (and bullet) on his face when Peter Vincent pops one in his forehead at point-blank range! Looks like it's Bedtime for Bonzo!

Billy goes tumbling down the stairs and lands in a heap at the bottom. Well, that sure was anticlimactic, wasn't it? But WAIT! There's more!

Charley and Peter continue up the stairs to take care of Prince Humperdinck, when unbeknownst to them, Billy sits back up behind them. And though in the image below, it looks like he begins doing sit-ups, that is not what actually happens. But I would like to take this opportunity to stress that fitness is important, even for the undead and their ghoulish servants.

Our heroes continue walking up the staircase when suddenly they hear a creak on the steps behind them, and they suddenly become aware that all is not well!

Charley and Peter turn to see Billy Cole shambling up the stairs like a zombie, coming at them with blood gushing out of his head wound. Peter unloads, pumping him full of lead and he tumbles down the stairs again, his body shrouded by convenient smoke! Just when Charley and Peter are sure he must be finished off by now, Billy pops up out of the smoke, reaching for his targets. Holy shit, is this guy determined or what? Bullets don't even slow him down!

Billy makes the right call here and grabs for Peter, the guy with the gun. He lifts him up over his head with some kind of super strength and is preparing to toss him aside when the quick-thinking Charley grabs a piece of wood that happens to be laying around and stabs him in the chest with it.

At this point we hear a noise that sounds like Billy is pissing himself, and hey, no judging here--if I was stabbed in the chest with a big chunk of wood, I'd probably piss myself too. But Billy has no need for embarrassment, because he's not pissing himself after all! What a relief! He's only leaking green goo all over the floor instead. Our heroes watch in shock as Billy begins to melt and decay right before their eyes! He turns to green goo, his flesh falls off, and then eventually he starts leaking sand, until there's nothing left but a smoking skeleton that falls back on the staircase and shatters into a thousand pieces.

The skull however tumbles to the bottom of the stairs and skids across the floor, bouncing off a cabinet and coming to a rest with its mouth open. Billy had a pretty decent death before this, but it's the sliding skull that really proves he died in style.

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