Halloween

The Greatest Horror Movie Moments!
by: Dr. Boogie

Jaws

Hey, remember that movie about a killer shark? I'm sorry, remember THE movie about a killer shark? Of course you do. Hell, it made being afraid of sharks chic!

Almost as memorable as the shark itself was Quint, the obsessed fisherman who was out to get him. He was tough as nails, and as grizzled a fisherman as you could get. He was loaded with enough scars and nutty stories to make even the longest giant shark stakeouts go by in a flash. Even his introduction was harsh:

Such a soothing sound.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH

And he did that with such stubby fingernails.

Anyway, several shark attacks later, Quint heads out to bring down the shark with the help of police chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider) and annoying, nasally-voiced marine biologist Martin Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss). After comparing scars and having the size of his boat called into question, Quint finally believes he has the shark right where he wants it. Unfortunately, the opposite is true.

Damned lazy sharks... always trying to hitch a ride.

With the Orca's motor disabled and the annoying ichthyologist out of the picture, the title character tosses himself onto the back of the boat, hoping to gulp down Brody and Quint. Brody manages to dive inside the cabin, Quint almost...

SCOOOOOOOOOBA

Quint makes a grab for the table, but gets his fingers squashed by a rolling scuba tank. He tries to grab Brody's hand, but it's hard to get a good grip when you only have one good hand left. He slides down the inclined deck and into the jaws of Jaws.

If ke kept kicking, he could've knocked all of them teeth right out and then he'd be GUMMED to death!

For a little while, it looks like Quint might actually be able to kick his way off of the shark's snout and over to the safety of the...

Mmmm... beefylicious!

Oh wait, nevermind. The shark bites down on Quint's lower half, and Quint screams like a little girl. Even more brutal that Quint's screaming, however, is the awful crunching sound of Jaws biting into him.

In case you didn't know, Shark beats Machete

The shark shakes Quint back and forth. To his credit, Quint doesn't go down without a fight. Even with a giant shark biting him in half, he still has the presence of mind to grab his machete and start stabbing it in the face. But this shark has been swimming around for an entire day with a bunch of harpoons impaled in its back. A little nick on the cheek isn't going to ruin his meal.

OW.

Thanks! Dinner was fantastic!

"Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again." Goodbye, Quint. You really should've thought about getting a bigger boat.

On the upshot, the same scuba tank that smashed Quint's hand winds up being the very thing needed to take the shark out for good. When coupled with a rifle, that is.

Never floss with scuba gear.

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
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If you've never watched "Twilight Zone" this lady means nothing to you. If you have... "Room for one more, honey..."

Brrrrrrrrr...

Two minutes of screen time tops, and for millions of people that phrase sends a chill down the spine. Try saying it as someone gets on a crowded elevator and see how many people shudder. As the nurse/stewardess in the classic episode "Room 22", Arlene Martel spun that phrase into the brainstem of a generation.

Oh, and she also played Spock's wife in "Amok Time".

Find all 12 Series III "Scary-Ass Trading Cards" this September and October (2008) and you'll not only get a special secret final 13th card emailed to you, but you'll automatically be entered to win a Halloween prize pack from I-Mockery! Cards will be placed in random new I-Mockery articles during the months of September and October. Simply copy the URLs of each card down into a text file whenever you find them.

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Do NOT email the actual card graphics to us. We only want you to email us the URLs of all the cards which you can find directly underneath them.

 

Reader Comments

Fanboy
Sep 18th, 2008, 07:32 AM
Oh man, I remember her...the story itself is an old-school urban legend (good synopsis here : http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com...howtopic=62236).

I knew all about it as a kid and it made for a traumatizing episode. Still, I look at Ms Martel now and think "hmmm, my kind of babe", and not so much "ARGH ARGH ARGH". How times change.

Thanks for the superb Quint mutilation gifs, too.
lurking on the walls
Sep 18th, 2008, 10:00 AM
in the Jaws unleashed game on ps2 and X-Box, for some odd reason Quint is alive again and with a boat called the Orca II, which is odd, but atleast you're the shark right?
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Sep 18th, 2008, 12:09 PM
I think that scene was the first part of Jaws I ever watched. Given that I was 6 or 7 at the time, it led to many a nightmare, but I got over it and love that movie today. Good call on the scene, but I've gotta say my favorite moment is the bigger boat line. Yes, it;s been done to death in every way, but every time I watch it I get goosebumps, it's delivered so well.

And saturn, in the game that was Quint's nephew (or some other relative) on the Orca II, not Quint himself. And I'll be honest; while I recognize that as being a poor-quality game packed to the gills with glitches and bugs, I still enjoyed it. There's not a lot of games out there where you can be a giant shark that eats people in a variety of ways, and that one does that quite well.
Member
Sep 18th, 2008, 12:23 PM
Get inside the Shark before it bites you and kill him from the inside.
Cell Regenerated Deadite
Sep 18th, 2008, 12:33 PM
They just needed a bigger boat
Magic squirrel
Sep 18th, 2008, 05:53 PM
The only thing I wished they put into the scene is Jaws eyes rolling back into his head like in Quint's speech,"...Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces..." Thats good stuff right there!!!
pickled
Sep 18th, 2008, 11:23 PM
I loved how they took the experienced shark hunter out of the game.
Member
Sep 19th, 2008, 01:11 AM
Jaws remains, to this day, one of the few horror movies I can watch and that I can watch over and over and over again. Of course, every time it comes on and I'm watching it with my mother:

"He and Brody's wife have an affair." and "He dies." (Said of Hooper.) My mother read the book as well as saw the movie. Obviously, they left stuff out.

Also, I love this, too, if you don't mind a plug for youtube fave:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZgMJ-WFzPg (Num num num)
grants but one wish
Sep 20th, 2008, 09:30 AM
whoah copper, there was a book? i gotta find me one of those
good fer what ails ye.
Sep 20th, 2008, 12:45 PM
I just wish there were more movies involving squid.
Drugs+drugs+rock+roll
Sep 20th, 2008, 09:16 PM
Jaws is probably the best movie ever, guys.
Member
Sep 21st, 2008, 02:19 AM
Best Horror movie ever. I still contend that the Princess Bride is the best movie ever.

And yeah, Beardy. By Peter Benchley.
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Sep 21st, 2008, 11:16 PM
The best horror movie? Sorry, but I don't think it's good enough to dethrone The Thing (and The Shining has latched itself quite firmly to spot number 2). But it's definitely Top 5 material, no doubt.
Member
Sep 22nd, 2008, 03:19 AM
Actually, I was just subdividing Guitar's remark about it being the best *movie* ever. Thing and Shinning (Ach! Ya want ta get us sued?!) will get no argument from me, believe me.
Forum Virgin
Sep 22nd, 2008, 08:13 AM
Jaws is one of my favorite movies of all time and I agree the Quint character is fantastic, but I have to disagree with you. The best part of Jaws is the opening sequence. It sets the tone for the entire movie and till this day still makes me not want to go swimming. When that chick first gets yanked under water and she bobs back up to the surface, trying to get her breath and is obviously terrified out of her mind--oh man. Then Jaws pulls her from side-to-side before she disappears forever. That was brutal.

I think Jaws has to be a top 5 horror movie. It stands the test of time, and unlike many horror movies, there's a great deal of plausibility in the flick. Plus, the book was very loosely based on the 1917(or there abouts) events off the Jersey shore, where a shark(s) devoured like 11 people in a few days time. I didn't care for the book, it seemed to deal more with classism and the rivalry between Brody and Hooper, than the actual man-eating shark on the loose. One of the few cases where the movie was better than book, like Forest Gump.
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Sep 23rd, 2008, 09:17 PM
Copper: Alright, no worries. I was just clarifying your clarification (and in the end, I can't disagree with a Willie quote :D)

Mojo: While I don't think that's the best scene of the movie, it's certainly one of the best opening scenes out there (in my world, it's tied with Leon for best opening period); you're quite right in how it sets the mood. As for the Jersey beach attacks, the events there were actually the same as the movie (same number killed, same order; girl swimming, a dog, a boy, a man's leg, and then another man). Might need to double-check that but I'm sure it's right. Never read the book so I've got no comment on that.


Someday I will learn how to quote. Someday...
Former Virgin
Sep 23rd, 2008, 10:30 PM
I've seen this movie at least two dozens times. If I'm channel surfing and I come across it, I'll still watch it. The story Quint tells about the USS Indianapolis is freaking excellent.
Member
Sep 24th, 2008, 01:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mojomajik9 View Post
Jaws is one of my favorite movies of all time and I agree the Quint character is fantastic, but I have to disagree with you. The best part of Jaws is the opening sequence. It sets the tone for the entire movie and till this day still makes me not want to go swimming. When that chick first gets yanked under water and she bobs back up to the surface, trying to get her breath and is obviously terrified out of her mind--oh man. Then Jaws pulls her from side-to-side before she disappears forever. That was brutal.
I actually think the best description of Jaws I have ever heard (or at least the music) is "It can inspire terror...in two notes...Ba dum." And that is sooo freaking true. You hear that "Ba dum" and you just *know* evil is going to happen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Relaxing Dragon View Post
Someday I will learn how to quote. Someday...
The easiest way is to switch to forum view. Then either use the quote tab or the little button with the apostrophes for multiple ones. If you want to keep using the comments view, the tab with the word bubble on it are quote brackets (but it merely makes the text look like a quote, you have to credit the source yourself.) Took me a while to figure that out *laughs* (And please don't mind me getting into "explanation" mode. I strive to help on forums, heh.)
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Sep 24th, 2008, 02:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Copper View Post
The easiest way is to switch to forum view. Then either use the quote tab or the little button with the apostrophes for multiple ones. If you want to keep using the comments view, the tab with the word bubble on it are quote brackets (but it merely makes the text look like a quote, you have to credit the source yourself.) Took me a while to figure that out *laughs* (And please don't mind me getting into "explanation" mode. I strive to help on forums, heh.)
Hey, it works (wow, I never noticed that tab there before). Thanks!
Member
Sep 25th, 2008, 11:44 PM
Glad to be of service *salutes*

*thinks about how to get this back on topic* Ummm. Yeah, got nothing at the moment *flees*
100% Regulator
Nov 24th, 2008, 09:38 PM
JAWS is one of my favorite movies of all time. I have also read the book. It was a good read but was upset when Hooper died beacause he was my favorite person in the movie.

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