Features

Count Pop's Freaky Flea Market Fright Fiesta
by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED

LOOK AT THIS HAIRY LIL' HEPCAT! THEY SAY A BLACK CAT CROSSING YOUR PATH IS BAD LUCK, BUT DID YOU KNOW A BLACK CAT CAN CROSS ITS OWN PATH AND HAVE EVEN WORSE LUCK? THIS LIL' FELLA IS ALL THE PROOF YOU SHOULD EVER NEED! THE LESSON WE'VE ALL LEARNED TODAY IS TO NOT BE A BLACK CAT. NO, WEREWOLF POP, THIS IS NOT FOR DINNER! DOWN BOY!

FOOLS RUSH IN, AND WHEN THEY REALIZE THE MISTAKES THEY'VE MADE, THEY HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON. WELL YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAN ON OL' COUNT POP IN YOUR TIME OF NEED!

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO SELL A NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM?? THAT'S ALMOST AS CRAZY AS SOMEBODY WANTING TO SELL THEIR FAVORITE COUNT POP ALBUM OR A TREE THAT GROWS BANANAS FILLED WITH CANDY CORN! YOU JUST DON'T GET RID OF THE CLASSICS! THIS SYSTEM EVEN HAD A GAME ABOUT GILLIGAN'S ISLAND ON IT! YOU JUST CAN'T FIND GAMING ENTERTAINMENT LIKE THAT THESE DAYS!

HOLD STILL WEREWOLF POP! I HAVE TO MEASURE YOUR HEAD TO MAKE SURE YOUR PERFECT POMPADOUR HAS REACHED FULL MATURITY! NOPE... IT'S NOT QUITE THERE YET! DON'T FEEL BAD, POMPADOURS GO THROUGH PUBERTY AT DIFFERENT AGES FOR EVERYBODY!

WHO'S HEAD OF THE CLASS? WE ARE, BECAUSE WE NOW HAVE TWO GIANT HEADS AND THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO EVEN FIT IN THIS CLASS, SO WE'RE OBVIOUSLY HEAD OF THE CLASS BY DEFAULT! THANK YOU SEVERED HEAD OF THE PINK PANTHER, THANK YOU!

LOOK AT ME! I HAVE A PAC SACK ON MY BACK AND IT'S WIGGITY-WIGGITY WHACK! EVER NOTICE HOW NOBODY DRAWS PAC-MAN IN THAT OLD STYLE, WITH RED EYES AND FEET AND A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BODY? THAT'S HIS TRUE NATURE FOLKS, AND DON'T EVER FORGET IT OR HE'LL POP A PAC IN YOUR POSTERIOR! ACTUALLY, HE'S A VERY EVEN-TEMPERED GUY, BUT I CAN'T SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT Q*BERT! HE CUSSES LIKE A SAILOR WHO ATE SOME BAD BARNACLES, THAT GUY! I GUESS I WOULD TOO IF COILY SNAKES WERE ALWAYS TRYING TO BONK ME ON THE HEAD. THE POINT IS, PAC SACK IS THE GREATEST BACKPACK EVER AND DOESN'T REQUIRE ANY QUARTERS TO PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

SOMETIMES WHEN THE SUN SHINES DOWN UPON YOU, YOU GOTTA SHOW THE WORLD JUST HOW MUCH OF A COOL DUDE YOU REALLY ARE! AND THE ONLY TO DO THAT IS WITH COOL DUDE SHADES, OR "SUNGLASSES" AS SOME LESS COOL DUDEY PEOPLE REFER TO THEM. BUT SOMETIMES COOL DUDES ARE EVEN COOLER THAN THEIR COOL DUDE SUNGLASSES. IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THOSE DUDES, YOU CAN SKIP THE SUNGLASSES AND BUY A FUNNEL CAKE FLAVORED SNOW CONE INSTEAD!

KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF O' MY SINGING JAWS! HE WANTED FIFTEEN DOLLARS FOR IT, BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I CAN SING BETTER THAN ANY OL' SHARK! HOW DO I KNOW THIS? BECAUSE I CHALLENGED JAWS TO A KARAOKE BATTLE AND EVERYBODY IN THE OCEAN VOTED FOR ME! JAWS GOT ALL SORE ABOUT LOSING, SO HE FOUND A COMPRESSED AIR TANK, BIT DOWN ON IT AND EXPLODED. IT WAS THE BEST TIME I'VE EVER HAD IN ALL MY DAYS OF KARAOKE COMPETITIONS!

OH NO! IT'S A SCARY GHOST AND HE'S NOW COME TO HAUNT US WITH HIS JARRING JACK-O-LANTERN! PLEASE DON'T HAUNT US, MISTER GHOST, WE'RE JUST HERE TO SPREAD THE FINEST ROCKTOBER BOPS TO ALL THE FLEAS IN THE FLEA MARKET! WE PROMISE TO NEVER DISTURB YOUR SACRED TENT OF SPOOKY SALES EVER AGAIN!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S POINTING AT ME FOR, BUT WHATEVER IT IS, I'M SURE I DIDN'T DO IT. UNLESS, OF COURSE, HE'S POINTING OUT THE GREATEST ROCKABILLY VAMPIRE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, THEN YEAH, YOU GOT ME PEGGED MONKEY MAN! HAVE A BANANA!

ANOTHER COUNT POP FAN, AND THIS ONE WAS RUNNING A BOOTH OF HIS OWN IN A SECRET UNDERGROUND PASADENA FLEA MARKET BUNKER WITH AIR CONDITIONING AND CAVIAR AND BUTLERS AND BATH TUBS FILLED WITH RAINBOW SPRINKLES! I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH HE PAID TO GET THIS SPOT, BUT I'M SURE IT WASN'T ENOUGH, BECAUSE THIS UNDERWORLD DOMINION OF TOYS, COMICS AND GAMES IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE SWEATY UPPERWORLD OF FLEAS, DUST AND ANGRY GHOSTS! I'LL HAVE TO SEE IF THEY HAVE ANY REAL ESTATE AVAILABLE DOWN HERE! COUNT POP IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR EXCITING NEW TIMESHARE OPPORTUNITIES!

A TABLE CHOCK FULL OF MORE CLASSIC VIDEO GAMES! BUT WHICH IS THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME? I BOUGHT WEREWOLF POP FOR A DOLLAR, SO I'M ALREADY PAST MY BUDGET, BUT THESE ARE SIMPLY TOO GOOD TO PASS UP!

EUREKA! TOPEKA! I FOUND MICHAEL JACKSON'S MOONWALKER FOR THE SEGA GENESIS! YOU DON'T HAVE TO OWN THE SYSTEM FROM SATURN TO PLAY THIS ONE, AND THAT'S A GOOD THING, BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD THAT SPACE AGE, OUTER-PLANETARY VIDEO GAME TECHNOLOGY OF THE FUTURE!

I'M COUNT POPSON, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? HA, HA, I LOVE THE SIMPSONS! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I HELPED BART RECORD HIS #1 RADIO HIT SINGLE, "DO THE BARTMAN" BACK IN THE DAY. REMEMBER THAT? OF COURSE YOU DO, IT'S THE ONLY OTHER SONG YOU LISTEN TO WHEN YOU'RE NOT PLAYING COUNT POP'S GREATEST HITS ALL DAY LONG!

OKAY, I NEED SOME FRESH AIR, SO GET ME OUT OF THIS AIR CONDITIONED NIGHTMARE! LET'S HEAD BACK TO THE SURFACE LIKE THE NINJA TURTLES ON A MISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM BAD PIZZA PIES AND ANGRY PAJAMA WEARING NINJA GUYS!

THE POP MOBILE IS IN THE SHOP, SO THIS GOLF CART WILL HAVE TO DO! I'M SURE THEY LEFT IT HERE FOR US ANYWAY SINCE I'M AN INTERNATIONAL STAR AND CAN'T KEEP STOPPING TO SIGN AUTOGRAPHS ALL DAY!

HAHA, JUST KIDDING! THE POPSTER WILL HANG OUT WITH FANS FOREVER, BECAUSE FANS ARE THE BEST THING ABOUT OUTDOOR MARKETS IN PASADENA FILLED WITH FLEAS AND TECHNOLOGY FROM SATURN!

OKAY PASADENA, THANKS FOR HAVING US OVER FOR ALL THE FLEA-FILLED FUNTIVITIES AND REMEMBER - IT'S BEEN GREAT, IT'S BEEN SWELL, YOU'LL BE BOPPIN' TO COUNT POP TUNES OR YOU'LL BE SKEDADDLIN' DOWN THE FIERY SKI SLOPES OF HELL!

WELL ROCK ME AROUND THE CLOCK AMADEUS! WEREWOLF POP BOUGHT ME A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ICE CREAM TREAT FROM THE ICE CREAM VENDOR! WHAT A GREAT WAY TO END A HOT DAY IN THE SUN WITH ICY COLD SUPERSONIC FUN ON THE RUN! BUT I'M NOT EATING THIS SPEEDY TREAT ALONE!

GET IN HERE AND ENJOY THE SONIC ICE CREAM TREAT WITH ME AND MARVEL AT HOW HE RUNS SO FAST THAT HIS GUMBALL EYEBALLS MOVED OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS AND UP INTO HIS HAIR! WANNA GUESS WHERE THEY'RE MOVING TO NEXT AT AN EVEN FASTER PACE? OUR STOMACHS! HAHAHAHA!

IT'S BEEN ONE OF THE BEST FLEA-INFESTED OCTOBER DAYS I'VE EVER HAD, AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A POPTASTIC HALLOWEEN! I'VE MISSED YOU GUYS FOR YEARS, BUT THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE A ROCKABILLY VAMPIRE POP STAR TOURING ON THE ROAD 729 DAYS A YEAR! COME ON, WEREWOLF POP DADDIO, LET'S HOP 'N BOP ALL THE WAY HOME! I'LL GIVE YOU A FRESH BOWL OF KIBBLES 'N BITS AND SLOPPY JOE SAMMICHES AND THEN WE CAN GET MOVIN' AND A GROOVIN' WITH A CELEBRATORY HALLOWEEN DANCE ONCE AGAIN!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

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If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:


Count Pop's Halloween Hootenanny Hullabaloo!

Reader Comments

Basement Monkey
Oct 30th, 2010, 08:28 AM
Great to see Count Pop back in action.
Kat Kat is offline
Breathes Comics
Oct 30th, 2010, 08:36 AM
Oh craple!
Forum Virgin
Oct 30th, 2010, 09:51 AM
Craple!! that was great!!
teacup of sunshine
Oct 30th, 2010, 10:25 AM
I wish I could find Fright Flicks trading cards. All I ever run into are Desert Storm ones.

When I was a kid, my grandmother used to take us to Big Lots (back when it was a fun treasure hunt of a store). I remember very clearly seeing an entire bin of series 1 garbage pail kids for 10 cents apiece. If only I'd thought to fill my basket
Unfunny Python Reference
Oct 30th, 2010, 10:45 AM
I sure hope you bought all the stuff you showed us. It's all too good to pass up.
frappez le cochon rouge
Oct 30th, 2010, 12:41 PM
i heart count pop
Forum Chaos Lord
Oct 30th, 2010, 12:53 PM
Aww, Count Pop has a new best friend!

It's a good thing, too. He needed a buddy to go with him on tours when he visits space aliens and sells packed-to-capacity concerts.
Forum Virgin
Oct 30th, 2010, 03:03 PM
I'm glad to see Count Pop is back, I was worried that we wouldn't see him this year.
Forum Virgin
Oct 30th, 2010, 03:06 PM
Count Pop is back all is right in the world once more! Also I NEED to know where to get one of those awesome shirts!
WHAM!
Oct 30th, 2010, 03:18 PM
HAPPY BIHALLOWEENAY COUNT POP!!!
Member
Oct 30th, 2010, 04:17 PM
Good times had by all. Gilligan's Island is a horrible game.
Forum Virgin
Oct 30th, 2010, 05:51 PM
happy Halloween season! from sept 5 to december 23
Member
Oct 31st, 2010, 03:05 AM
Count Pop is the epitome of "capslock = cruise control for cool". That's why I only skim his articles; I can't handle that level of cool. =3
Amicable Herculean
Oct 31st, 2010, 03:45 PM
Count Pop is the coolest cat since cool came to cooltown.
pickled
Nov 20th, 2010, 09:03 AM
I have missed you and your rockabilly dancing ways, Count Pop!

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