Anybody got any Marshmallows?

Didn't you notice that pool of vomit that your mom was laying unconscious in? Didn't you notice that it smelled like alcohol? Well guess what Watson... not only did she overdose on heroin, but she had quite a few drinks too before she passed out. She also spilled her alcohol all over the house. Now what does this all add up to? 

Well let's see here. You tried to set her leg on fire in hopes that it would wake her up. And wake her up it did... problem is, her entire alcohol-drenched body caught on fire, not just her leg. So all you really accomplished was waking her up so that she could be conscious while burning to death. Damn, you're a nice kid. The kind only a mother could love! Oh and don't worry about feeling guilty; you were burned to a crisp as well. You see, the entire house caught on fire so fast that you couldn't even get your sorry ass out of there. Well, maybe you can go "Trick or Treating" in the cemetery when they bring your charred body there. Actually, it's more likely that some maggots will come "Trick or Treating" to your coffin. Hey, don't complain... at least they'll keep you company.

START OVER, YOU IDIOT!