Sorry, you didn't find "Captain Winky" on her! 

You tore off her clothes, just like in the movie "Ace Venture: Pet Detective". Unfortunately, she really IS a girl. There was no "Captain Winky" to be found anywhere on her body. And although you ruined her social life which is good, you ruined your physical life, which is bad.

You see, you might not have found any sign of being a male on her body, but there were PLENTY of males ready to pound you into the ground. These males were in the form of the school's football team, all of whom she had slept with. Psycho Rodeo Clown or not, your days are over. But if it's any consolation: With all of the practice that the teammates got by pounding you into the ground, they went undefeated during the regular football season and went on to win the state championship.

START OVER, YOU IDIOT!