HAM RADIO! GET IT!? LOLOLOL!

You really don't know a damned thing about Ham Radio except that something called "Ham Radio" does exist. So, you head on over to the local Radio Shack and you tell them, "Hi! I need a Ham Radio, whatever that is!" The two employees have obviously noticed your ignorance as they try to muffle their laughter. "Sure sir, come with me" he smiles deviously.

He takes you into the back room and pulls a giant ham out of a fridge. "Here, hold this." he says. You're a little weirded out by this, but he is the expert here, so you just ignore it. Next he pulls out a radio that looks like it's over 100 years old. "There ya go! A Ham Radio all for you!" he snickers.

"Um, is this a joke or something?" you ask. "A joke!? Absolutely not. It's quite easy to transmit a radio broadcast to thousands of people using Ham Radio technology. Simply take it home, touch your left hand to the radio, and hold the ham up to your mouth with your right hand. Just talk directly into the ham and you will be heard by thousands! Be sure to talk into the center of the ham though, cuz if you speak into the outer edges of it, the reception won't be as clear."

You take the ham radio kit home and you speak directly into it, attempting to announce your party to thousands of people. You make sure to speak into the center of the ham so that the entire town hears you crystal clear. Hours pass, nobody shows up, and your Monster Party is a complete failure. Hmmm, I wonder why.

WHEN YOU'RE DONE TALKING INTO THE HAM, START OVER!