“We’re ‘down’ with Lucifer! LOL!”

So you went with the “Sup, Satan” party theme. The peculiar mix of gansta rap and the praising of evil got a lot of laughs from your guests. Your party was a hit! The performance by Detroit rap group “Da Worshippaz” brought the house down. Everybody loved the games you staged, such as “Chickenslayer” and “Ancient Latin Charades”. Yeah, everything would’ve worked out fine, but for one thing.

“Why does God get all the good zealots?”

Any sane person will tell you that Halloween is the night of all nights when not to fuck with the forces of darkness. Needless to say, old Lucifer got curious from seeing all the infernal display up in your crib, and decided to pay a visit. Did he congratulate you on a job well done? Hell no. He set your house on fire and killed all your party guests as punishment for dragging his name through the mud like this. But hey, at least you can say you threw a party no one will ever forget. As for your own worthless ass, you were dragged back to hell where you spent eternity as Satan’s royal toenail clipper. Oh yeah, you got it made. Sucker.

START OVER, YOU IDIOT!