There's a treasure of no doubt unimaginable fortune lying out there just
waiting for you to find it. Might as well start spending now and living the
good life! You book yourself the finest, most luxurious airplane ticket that
the good people of Mutant Penguin Airlines ("Sometimes, we land!") have to offer, and have a limo drive you to the airport. Once safely aboard the
plane, you're treated to snacks, drinks and all the hardcore three-dimensional porn you could ever wish for, while the lowly rabble sits in economy class, getting squished by their overweight fellow passengers and watching the comedic masterpiece "Got Booty?" You laugh and sip your first-class orange juice in a champagne glass, as a flight attendant
simultaneously explains safety regulations and massages your feet. This is
the life! You shift around in your chair to get comfortable, and that's when something slips out of your pocket.

A pair of harmless plastic scissors. You don't know what that was doing in your pocket, or maybe you do and don't want to admit it. It is pink, after
all. Regardless, upon seeing the pathetic scissors, the flight attendant
that was giving you a pedicure utters a fierce shriek and pounces on you
like a wild cat. "Alright!" you tell yourself, thinking this to be part of another 'complementary service.' But you're wrong. With an elaborate self-defense maneuver, she pins you down in your chair and begins choking the life out of you, while loudly screaming to her colleagues that "she's caught another one." The room fills up with flight attendants who promptly proceed to take off their shoes and beat you with them, while one scalds you with steaming hot coffee. All the commotion draws the attention of the other passengers, who come in and throw themselves into the melee to try and take a swing at you. Not long after, the pilot and co-pilot stumble out of the cockpit and start raiding the flight attendants' liquor cabinet. In the midst of this pandemonium, who's flying the plane?

NEVER FORGET.

Remember to next time empty your pockets before you go on a plane. You made it to the Epcot Center, just not in one piece. And thanks to you, the Epcot Center had to be censored out of four hundred movies and at least ten times as many episodes of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. Jerk.

GET YOURSELF IN AN UPRIGHT POSITION AND START OVER!