Certain that you've made the safest choice, you sit down next to the innocent little girl rubbing her Ken dolls against one another in a friction frenzy. Deeply troubled by the notion of clones getting their freak on, you try to ignore her as best you can and stare across the aisle and out the opposite window. The only hitch in your plan is that each of the toys is embedded with a sound chip, which her furious rubbing activates without fail every ten seconds or so.

The sound of two Kens happily spouting inane phrases like "I love tennis!" and "My other car is a Ferrari!" over and over combined with the girl making obscene slurping and flesh slapping noises as the two victims of plastic incest writhe against one another in her hands finally makes you snap.

"STOP IT!" you yell, immediately ashamed of your outburst. "I'm sorry honey," you console her, "but I don't think twins are supposed to do that with one another. It's just not right."

The girl, wide-eyed, jerks her head around to look at you. Her mouth is dangling open in disbelief. "Oh," she says, "you got something against gay people? Is THAT it?"

"No, nothing like that, it's just that--" the girls shriek of "DAAADDDDY!!!!" interrupts you, as you turn and see a very angry looking leather clad biker dude standing up from the back seat and zipping up his pants. His belt buckle is proudly emblazoned with sequins spelling out the name Bubba in a cursive script. He stomps forward down the aisle and glares at you. "Is there a PROBLEM here, sir?" he demands.

"No, no prob--" The girl points her finger and screams "Daddy daddy daddy, he's predoojissed!" "No, nothing like that! It's not that I have anything against anybody at all, see, I just was kind of freaked out by the fact that these two dolls your daughter is doing unspeakable things with are twins, see, and this isn't West Virginia, haha, and--"

"YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH WEST VIRGINIA? THAT'S WHERE MY MOMMA LIVES!" are the last words you hear, as Bubba grabs your throat and lifts you into the air one-handed, slowly choking the life out of you. After that the only sound you hear are your own girlish shrieks as Bubba yanks down your pants and stuffs Ken dolls where Ken dolls should not be.

START OVER, CHUM!