Nothing says "reliability" like a car that refuses to die. You hop into the Bundy Dodge post haste. The cop tells you that you forgot the keys, but you inform him that you already have the key, as you pull a screwdriver out of your pocket. You thrust the screwdriver into the ignition and turn it, and the Dodge springs to life.

Perhaps "spring to life" was a bit of an exaggeration. The car rumbles for a moment, and then the shocks implode and the car drops down a few inches. In the end, you wind up asking the cop for a little push. "Sure. Anything to get you the hell outta here," he muses. He gives you a nice push, and you're off.

Driving the Dodge isn't so bad once it gets going. Sure, you do go over a few bumps at a road construction site (mainly construction workers), but the pieces that fall from the car's undercarriage seem to have no effect on the overall performance of the Dodge. Yes, things are finally looking up. Literally. The driver's side seat breaks, and you find yourself staring at the car's ceiling, the fabric of which is almost completely gone. Nevertheless, you recover, and before long (but not long before a dozen more hilarious car trouble jokes), you arrive in scenic Macon, Georgia. The jewel of the South. The fuzz on the Georgia Peach. The least awful city in Georgia.

The Popeye's Chicken that you're looking for isn't far from the street that led you into Macon. Within minutes, you're in the parking lot of said establishment, and not a moment too soon, as the front driver's side wheel falls off of the Dodge as soon as you shift the wooden gearshift to "ark". Now, though, you are at an impasse: where could the clue be? A cursory glance at the building suggests nothing, so you proceed to step two: go inside, stupid.

You didn't have any particularly high standards for fried chicken joints in terms of decorum and cleanliness, but this Popeye's Chicken has totally changed that. Beautiful children's drawings on the wall, exotic gumball machines next to the door, a well-maintained coat rack, this place has everything! You try to contain your awe long enough to order yourself some greasy chicken chunks from the heavily pierced minor working the cash register. Your astonishment is furthered all the more when you food arrives in under half an hour. Magnificent!

That's all well and good, however, but it doesn't bring you any closer to the next phase of your journey. After all, you still need to figure out which Lincoln Monument to go to: the one in Washington D.C., or the one in… in…

Well, crap. Looks like you've just been wasting time, here. If only you'd try to think ahead more often. There's no time to waste anymore, though. You finish stuffing your graw full of chicken skins and toss the bucket off to the side, garnering only a defeated sigh from the cashier. Off to Washington!

You are beginning to wonder about the Dodge, though. In your years of watching the show, you only recall it once being driven for such a long period of time, and that was because Al wanted to win a new car (or something like that). Plus the wheel is still on the ground. What should you do?

You decide to:

• Kwitcherbitchin' and fix the damned car!
   
• Take a train to D.C.
   
• Check the insurance to see if you can get some money out of the wreck.
   
• Secure a rental car.