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YEEHAW!
Success! The killer's
massive form, riddled with smoking bullet holes, keels over and falls on
his face. It looks like one of your stray bullets took out Treat
Williams, but that's okay, nobody liked Evermore, or Everglades, or
whatEver his show's called. Mongoose and Tough Chick together emerge
from one of the bushes, straightening their clothes and congratulating
you with your victory. Confound it, looks like your chances with Tough
Chick by now are pretty slim. Chin-Myu and his quirky girlfriend finally
slow down their crazed raving so that you can actually take a guess at
what they're saying, while Nerd Kid aka Francis is seriously invading
your personal space while grinning broadly at you. You hope to God it's
just hero worship, and that the death of his would-be girlfriend didn't
drive him over the edge of gender preference.
Dick Boddy examines the collapsed heap of killer flesh. "Golly!" he
exclaims. "That guy you just killed looks familiar!" He continues to
hover over the corpse, his throat well within choking distance of one of
its hands, though of course that's of no consequence, cause he's dead,
right? Right? Right.
"You a-kirr that crazy kirrah MEGA-DEAD, dude!" the quirky Asian
Girl chirps. "You rock awesome!"
You briefly consider stealing Chin-Myu's girlfriend. But no... no. She's
too quirky for you. It would never work out. There's only one girl for
you...
"Attention, guys!" you exclaim. "Have any of you seen Pretty
Non-descript Normal Girl?"
Your friends glance at each other, then shake their heads.
"I see, I see. This is bad news. We'll need to find her, or I'll never
get lai... I mean, or I'll never... get... get laid. Let's --"
But before you can finish your sentence, you hear a growl and a sound of
choking coming from nearby. You turn just in time to see Dick Boddy's
neck being snapped by the not-so-dead-after-all killer, who is slowly
standing up. Your friends shriek in beautiful unison as the
beard-creature begins shambling towards them. If bullets don't kill it,
what will? That's when it hits you. It's been in your face all this
time. This is what it's been about all along. How could you have been so
blind? You should've seen it coming. It's so obvious.
One of your friends elbows you in the side and tells you to get over the
cliché dialogue already and do what you're supposed to do.
You decide to:
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