OOOO, tough call baby
Einstein. Well screw you, the second you say "I'll take the Dream
vacation to Paradise island, Pat!" A gerbil riding a Pterodactyl
flies down from the catwalk and sticks a little gerbil sword right
through your fucking head!
Nah, I'm just shitting
you. That's the correct answer. I mean, what else? Gotta move the plot
along, right?
So anyway you get the tickets for you and a friend but apart from the
imaginary friend you had until you were twelve (who honestly didn't even
like you that much) all you have are acquaintances. The first five
people you call all tell you they rather die of Ebola than go anywhere
in your company. In desperation you call up Retarded Mickey, the hulking
Swede who worked in the mailroom of the telemarketing center you temped
at until you got fired for surreptitiously touching your wiener and not
knowing what the word surreptitiously meant. He's overjoyed at the
chance to go on a free vacation and also he doesn't remember who you
are, so it's a go.
You meet him at the airport and it's off to Paradise Island. Imagine
your crushing disappointment when you realize it's just a Club Med Type
resort and not a classical Greek Shangri-La populated entirely by
strapping Lesbians.
"Laws, old Bean," says Retarded Mickey "You're thinking of the Wonder
Woman Comic book! That's not a real place you know! Heavens, they call
me retarded!"
