Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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Ahhh... life is good isn't it? Of course it is! After all, you're Hort Derkins, regional manager for a chain of Pizza Lodge restaurants in the Northeast! Sure, it's not the job you dreamed you'd be doing when you were younger, but you've got a nice house, a peach of a wife and some damned fine kids who you think might actually have a shot at getting into an Ivy League school some day.

So it's a lazy Sunday afternoon and you're enjoying the day off from work as you conduct some research on a local dial-up computer BBS with your speedy 300 baud modem. People on there are getting all hot and bothered about this new thing called the "Internet", and you must admit, it sure does sound exciting!

Hort Derkins. Winner extraordinaire
Yeah, that's you being excited.

As you read on about this "Internet" you notice that your computer monitor is starting to grow dim. All of a sudden your dot matrix printer shuts itself off and your computer powers down. What, no warning? Not even a blue screen of death? This is madness!

You get up to tell the wife about the problem, but she's already made her way downstairs to complain to you about how the lights in the bathroom aren't working and now she can't use the curling iron on her hair. Good god, it's almost as if all the power in the house has been drained in an instant! Oh no! Could your house be infested with those pesky electro-leeches you were reading about the other week on yet another highly reputable dial-up computer BBS run by some 15-year-old kid? Maybe, just maybe! But wait... let's not jump to conclusions here. First thing's first, you gotta check the fuse box.

As you make your way down the stairs to your basement, you notice a strange glow. How can anything be glowing without there being any power on in the house!? You make your way down and in the middle of the basement floor is a giant arcade cabinet:


The game is apparently called "FUN TIME" and it has a pixelated green smiley face flashing on the screen. It also has the most absurd control boards you've ever seen, with more buttons, joysticks and doohickeys than you could possibly know what to do with. But forget about that... WHERE THE HELL DID THIS GAME COME FROM!?

You ask everybody in the family about it and none of them have ever seen it before, so it's as if it just magically appeared in your basement. While the wife 'n kids don't seem to give it a second thought as they decide to go out for ice cream until the power comes back on, you stay behind because you're absolutely bewildered by this machine. It's the only thing in the house that has any power on, so perhaps "FUN TIME" is the source of your electrical problems. You go to unplug the machine to see if it helps and that's when you see it...


Ok, so it wasn't really that scary to you, but still, the fact that this thing is turned on yet not plugged in is pretty friggin' weird. Well, there's only one thing to do...

You decide to:

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