Freddy really became a phenomenon over the years. There were times where you couldn't go into a store without seeing something with Freddy's face on it. Below is a list containing some of the best and worst of the Nightmare on Elm Street products.

A Nightmare on Elm Street - The Board Game.

If memory serves correctly, the object of the game was to make it out of the maze alive before Freddy killed you. You can imagine my disappointment, however, when I discovered that Freddy's hand does NOT burst through the center of the game board in an attempt to kill your friends, even though they pictured it on the back of the box.

"Freddy's Greatest Hits" album.

If you couldn't get enough Freddy, there was the option of adding him to your music collection as well. This album featured smash hits such as "Do the Freddy", "Obsession", "Wooly Bully", "Don't Sleep", "In the Midnight Hour", "Dance or Else", "All I Have To Do Is Dream", "Down In The Boiler Room", and "Elm Street Dreams". Still, it's no "Dream Warriors" by Dokken or "Nightmare on My Street" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince.

Freddy Krueger Dolls

For the smart girls out there who knew that Barbie was an empty little vessel created just to make them feel bad and take their money, there were Freddy Krueger dolls as an alternative. Some Freddy dolls talked... some dolls you could even change his head and clothes. All in all, the dolls looked pretty crappy, but when compared to Barbie, they look pretty damned good.

Freddy's "Fright Squirter"

Here's an odd one - Freddy's Fright Squirter was basically the severed head of Freddy Krueger as a water gun. I still think it would have been more effective if they included some red colored disappearing ink - like they did with the old "Zap-It!" guns. Then it would be like you were shooting Freddy's neck blood at people. Tasty!

Freddy's Glove!

The king of all Elm Street toys. I remember yelling out loud the first time I saw this thing and everybody in the store was looking at me like I needed to be in medication. They did a great job on this glove, which was a relief because I was getting tired of trying to make my own Freddy gloves:

Don't deny it - we all tried the same thing.
(sadly I only had sporks at the time, so my homemade Freddy glove really sucked)

Horrible Make-Up Kits

Eugh, I have yet to see a decent Freddy Krueger costume. Sure you can get his glove, his sweater, and his fedora... but when it comes to his face, nobody gets it right. The masks all look horrible, and the make-up kits? Christ, you'd have better luck sticking oatmeal or applesauce on your face. If you want to look as far from Freddy Krueger as possible, then the various make-up kits are right up your alley. I'm really not kidding.

A Nightmare on Elm Street - The NES Game
(click here to download the NES rom. click here to download the NES emulator.)

Ok, I actually enjoyed this game, but that's only because before this, I owned the original Elm Street game for my DOS computer and it drove me mad. Mainly because Freddy cheated in that game... a lot. They even promoted it on the box. The NES game was a lot easier, though I must say that the PC game did have a cooler title screen since his finger moved. (you can read our feature article on the Freddy PC game here).

A Nightmare on Elm Street - The Pinball game

The best of the Freddy games, however, is without a doubt the Elm Street Pinball game. My favorite part about it was the animated Freddy head in the middle of it. There's also the added challenge of concentrating on your game while Freddy is talking his usual shit through the speakers. His evil knows no bounds.

A Nightmare on Elm Street - The Snowglobe

Celebrate the holidays with Freddy. Why buy grandma a tree ornament from Halmark when you can give her the gift of Freddy? It's the gift that keeps on giving.

The Freddy "Squish 'Em"

Ok now this thing was just stupid. I like squishy toys as much as the next guy, but this thing was just plain cheap. It was nothing like the popular "Gurgling Guts" toys of today that make all those awesomely disgusting noises. It claims "you can't keep Freddy down" but keeping him in the trash wasn't really hard.

Freddy Krueger "Stick-Up"

Another cheap and useless novelty item, the Freddy "Stick-Up" allowed you to do just what you'd think - stick Freddy wherever you want. What I found more amusing was the photo on the box. It's not even the real Freddy Krueger, it's somebody else made to look like him with the addition of an old man coat. What's with that thing!? Does he have a Werther's Original candy in those coat pockets for us? The package claims "It's horribly authentic!" unfortunately, the Freddy is "horribly unauthentic".

Freddy Krueger Wall Light

Not happy with the lighting in your room? Well, you could always get a Freddy light to hang from your wall. I think it was mainly used for Halloween, but I see no reason why it couldn't be a year-round lighting solution.

The Freddy Krueger Yo-Yo

This was just absurd. A horribly bad drawing of Freddy stuck on a Yo-Yo. Even funnier is the cover that depicts Freddy using the Yo-Yo. Not that I'd put it past him to find a way to kill somebody with a Yo-Yo, but I still think it's a bit far fetched. Hell, If he saw the horribly drawn picture of himself on the Yo-Yo, he'd probably kill the artist.

Freddy's "No Parking" Sign

I really can't think of a better way to claim a parking spot for your own than with a Freddy sign that informs people that their tires will be slashed. And the best part about it, is if someone does park in your space, you can slash their tires and then blame it on Freddy. It's a perfectly solid alibi that will hold up in court. Seriously.

Well this concludes our tour down Freddy lane. I hope you've enjoyed it. Hey... what the hell!? I... I can't control my arm! I... I... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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