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I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide To The Halloween Candies Of 2011
by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED

Butterfinger Pumpkin

I'm sorry to report that the quality of the Butterfinger Pumpkin has gone down since last year. As I've said before, when many popular candy brand change the shape of their treats to match whatever holiday is going on, you often get a diminished quality of the candy itself, and that's definitely the case here. In previous years, the Butterfinger Pumpkin had far more pieces of the butterfinger candy in the center, but this year it's more chocolate than anything. Don't get me wrong, it's still good, but not nearly as good as a regular Butterfinger candy bar. I know it's hard to resist, considering the package design is so great, but if you're in the mood for a Butterfinger, get a real one.

out of 5 crazy Jacks

York Peppermint Batty

Alright, now here's one popular candy that can be turned into any shape and we know that the quality of the treat itself won't be reduced at all. York's Peppermint Batty is always something I look forward to eating every Halloween, and I gotta say, I really love the packaging too. The shiny silver and black bat against the starry night backdrop is pretty much perfect - plus, I've always thought this bat looks like many depictions of the Mothman urban legend. Whether it's a bat or a Mothman, I can assure you, he's not a harbinger of bad things to come... unless you consider a delicious peppermint assault on your mouth to be a bad thing, in which case, you may want to avoid this and go eat a witch finger or something.

out of 5 chainsaws

Orange Big Bite Halloween Gummy Pumpkin

Another newcomer to our trick-or-treat bags is this hefty orange pumpkin gummy that comes in its own resealable plastic case. And it's a good thing too, because this is no gummy you're going to eat in just one sitting. For a gummy that's roughly the size of the palm of your hand, this pumpkin packs some serious weight to it! What I found particularly strange though was that it comes in two pieces, split right down the center, and the rear portion of the pumpkin is a bit larger than the front, so they don't even match up vertically. Nitpicky size complaints aside, the orange flavor of the gummy isn't bad at all, as it's fairly sweet and doesn't come off as too artificial. Fair warning though, even though it's split in half, the density of this gummy is so ridiculous that I actually struggled to take a bite out of it. If you have sensitive teeth or anything, this candy is one you'll want to avoid, cuz you basically need to pretend you're a Great White shark when biting it - thrash around with the gummy between your teeth until you finally rip a piece off.

Again, I cannot emphasize just how heavy this thing is. If you threw it at a car windshield, the windshield would crack. That's not an exaggeration... that's a fact. But hey, it's nice to know that in addition to being a candy, this thing can double as a serious projectile weapon.

out of 5 Kiefer vampires

Trolli Mummies

I feel like I've seen Trolli Mummies once in the past, but if I have, I certainly never reviewed them, so it's certainly time to change that. The package design is all aces; from the festive fonts to the cloudy moonlight background with bats flying around, and of course the stalking mummy itself, this thing just screams Halloween. The mummy shaped gummy candies come in four colors - gray, orange, yellow, and black. The first two varieties have a pretty decent mixed fruit flavor, especially when eaten together, while the other two weren't anything that great. The gummies themselves have a nice consistency - not too soft, not too hard. The one things these are missing is a collectible sarcophagus. Perhaps Trolli can include one with their Mummies next year, or at least make some available as part of a mail-away offer.

Overall, Trolli Mummies are a solid addition to any Halloween candy grab bag, I just wish all the flavors were good instead of only half of 'em.

out of 5 Freddy gloves

Marsh Monsters Triple Layer Marshmallow & Gummy

The Flix candy company may not have a lot of new candies this season, but they did put out this nice Halloween pumpkin and ghost couple. In the simplest terms, these things are sandwiches - only they replaced lunch meats with gummy candy and slices of bread with sugar-coated marshmallows. As great as they look, I'm sorry to say that they taste pretty awful. It's a strange enough sensation biting into a marshmallow-gummy sandwich as it is, so when you find yourself tasting more chemicals than sugar, it's just not a good thing. Sorry Flix... here's hoping you make some better treats next year.

out of 5 hearses

Spooky Gummies Strawberry Gummy Brains

I've had a lot of gummy candy brains over the years, and they almost always disappoint me. When I saw these, I figured that would be the case again. Sure, they look great, with the light blue base and the mixed red & white brain matter, but that usually means they're just not going to taste good at all. Well, I'm happy to report that the strawberry deliciousness is strong with these, and each one is very sweet. A candy that looks good and tastes good? Well done, Spooky Gummies!

out of 5 Frankensteins

Spooky Gummies Berry Oozing Gummy Skulls

These Gummy Skulls already had the decks stacked against them, what with the Black Forest Juicy Oozers Gummy Skulls from last year being one of my absolute favorite candies. Plus, over the ages, there have been some other great bleeding skull candies, such as the classic Skull Crushers line that I'm still hoping will one day be produced again. While the Spooky Gummies brains were delicious, these oozing gummy candy skulls simply aren't. When you bite into an "oozing" candy, you expect a quick burst of sweet flavor, and it just doesn't happen here.

Also, when you bite into an oozing candy, you expect them to ooze! Well, as you can see, it's not really a liquid in the center, but just a red-colored gummy substance that doesn't really shift around even if you squeeze the bejebus out of the candy. Considering these skulls are larger than most other gummy skull candies, that's a seriously wasted opportunity to have some major blood gushing going on here with every squeeze. These could be fantastic, but with a weak flavor and no oozing blood, they failed to grasp what makes a bloody-filled skull candy great.

out of 5 zombie hands

Frankenstein's Monster Halloween Marshmallow Pop

Aww... it's like Frankenstein's Monster pooped out a kid and now the entire world wants to eat him. That adorable little tooth protruding from his mouth almost makes you feel guilty about biting into him. Almost. That's not to say you won't regret biting into him for other reasons, however. Another sugar-coated marshmallow that simply doesn't taste good, and I don't understand why. Marshmallows aren't my favorite thing in the world, but they still taste pretty good, so why are so many candy companies screwing them up? Now wonder the Stay Puft man wants to crush so many of us under his marshmallowy feet... our candy companies aren't paying a proper homage to him.

out of 5 Edgar Allen Poe's.

It's Alive! "Worm Hot Dog With Finger Fries"

This one is easily my favorite in the new "It's Alive!" marshmallow & gummy candy line this year. It's a worm hot dog with finger-shaped french flies and sweet blood ketchup to dip them in. As I stated with the pie, the marshmallows aren't particularly flavorful, but they're not bad when combined with the super sweet cherry-flavored blood ketchup packet. The gummy is extremely hard to bite into compared to the Flix candy brand gummy sandwich. And speaking of the gummy, why is it called a "Worm Hot Dog" when that insect is clearly a centipede? Well, these candies may not be produced by your friendly neighborhood entomologist, but at least they look great.

out of 5 witch hats

Brach's Caramel Apple Candy Corn

If plain old candy corn isn't your thing, perhaps Brach's Caramel Apple Candy Corn will be more up your alley. Personally, I prefer the Caramel Apple Sugar Babies from last year over these, but that's just me. These aren't bad at all, but they could have 3 colors like regular candy corn pieces do, and there's not much to the package design either. Still, they're made with Milk Maid caramels, which are always pretty good.

out of 5 full moons.

Oh but there's more!
CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE TO
PAGE 3 OF THE CANDIES!

 

Reader Comments

Basement Monkey
Oct 28th, 2011, 05:04 AM
Yay one of my favorite Halloween articles.
Costume Junkie
Oct 28th, 2011, 04:14 PM
So you covered most of the It's Alive line, but didn't bother with the Body Part Sushi? I personally liked that confectionary out of the lot because the presentation of various body parts [including brains and tongue] was scarily accurate atop marshmallow rice. And it even came with chopsticks to make the treat a more authentic experience.

Though my personal favorite gummies of the season were the Gummy Rat Traps. Quite a bit of packaging for an individual gummy, but the taste and consistancy were very high quality. Only thing that would've made it better was a tiny squirt of liquid filling to up the creepy factor.

But absolute best candy this year for me was definately the Palmers Peanutbutter Pumpkin Cups. Not only are Palmers a perfect rival to Reses by countering their classic peanutbutter flavor, but the bottom of every cup is a perfectly sculpted pumpkin face with appropriate layers of orange and green chocolate applied, making it a highly detailed and very tasty treat.
Forum Virgin
Oct 28th, 2011, 06:21 PM
looking at all the candy is giving me a sweet tooth ....need Marshmallow BRAAAAIIIIINNNNSSS!
dead end
Oct 28th, 2011, 10:21 PM
i did see the zombie blood in a compusa of all places, it was expensive and looked terrible so i figured i would only regret getting it.
Cranberry Everything
Oct 28th, 2011, 10:33 PM
Good to see such a nice variety of new candy this year!
And I'm glad you reviewed the zombie blood as I've nearly bought it several times.
Member
Oct 28th, 2011, 10:46 PM
Always happy to see the annual candy review. Thanks, Rog, for destroying your body with sugar so the rest of us don't have to!
Member
Oct 28th, 2011, 11:44 PM
A very interesting collection this year! Kudos!
Freelance Artist
Oct 29th, 2011, 12:50 AM
I'm going to have to send you an awesome sucker for next years' review - it's a caramel apple sucker, covered in real caramel
Forum Virgin
Oct 29th, 2011, 12:40 PM
Yay! Your candy-review post is my favorite of the year.

Thanks for taking the hit and trying, not only the disgusting looking Target blood pops, but also the Old Man Head giant marshmallow. I couldn't bring myself to buy them and can always count on iMockery to be the guinea pig. And I mean that as a compliment.
Member
Oct 29th, 2011, 07:21 PM
Wait so you thought zombie blood would taste good???

I mean I can't stand the smell of those guys, I certainly don't want to taste one.
Forum Virgin
Oct 31st, 2011, 02:59 PM
Another year with NO "Count Wonkula Bloodberry Doughnutz"...with sprinkles!!! Why Mr. Wonka why!!! I feel your pain -RoG- & even though this subtraction from the great line of Halloween confections put out this year was not present...you still managed 2 put out yet another Awesome candy review!!! Thx again I-Mockery for an awesome 2 months!!!
505, Inferno505
Nov 25th, 2011, 12:51 AM
Swell-tastic!
505, Inferno505
Nov 25th, 2011, 12:53 AM
They should make gigantic mellow-creame pumpkins.
Forum Virgin
Nov 25th, 2011, 07:17 AM
Hey, it's one of my favorite article. All the candies which are on that link are seeming so mouth watering and yummy. Thanks for this link, I will gonna try some of them for next Halloween hope my kids will love to eat them!
pickled
Jan 5th, 2012, 10:54 AM
I'm surprised you don't have diabeetus yet, Rog.
Member
Feb 29th, 2012, 05:22 PM
It's not a centipede, it's a caterpillar.

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