by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED

Sky Bar Zombie Food

And the winner for bloodiest candy of the year goes to.... Zombie Food! These milk chocolate brains, feet, and hearts are filled with blood red caramel and LOTS of it. While they're not nearly as good as the legendary Wonka Bloodberry Donutz that I still cling onto hopes of seeing return one day, they are still quite tasty and well worth your time. Plus...

Caramel blood. CARAMEL BLOOD! I want to see caramel blood oozing into all Halloween candies from this day forward. Somebody make this happen, okay? Thanks.

out of 5 haunted houses

Jelly Belly Gourmet Candy Corn Tin

You can label it as "gourmet" all you want, but it's still plain ol' candy corn. I like candy corn, so I like this, but let's not kid each other: if you're buying this, you're buying it for the novelty candy corn shaped tin container, not the miniscule amount of candy corn found within. I look at this tin as a pocket flask of sorts for Halloween candy addicts. If you can't go long without getting your sweet sugary fix, just whip out your little candy corn flask, pop a candy in your mouth, and all will feel right with the world once again.

out of 5 brains in jars of formaldehyde

Palmer Zombies

I really like the design of these Zombies chocolates. The art on the outer bag is great, and then you have some nice zombie designs on the tinfoil wrapping of each individual chocolate. But they didn't stop there. Once you open up the chocolate, you find a white zombie resting inside a coffin. What's funny is that the white zombie looks less like a real zombie and more like a regular guy who was too big for the coffin and uncomfortably crammed into it. He's certainly far less ferocious looking than the zombies on the tinfoil. The chocolate itself is fairly on par with Nestle, so not too shabby at all.

out of 5 hearses

Trick-Or-Treat Caramel Cob Junior

I found this mixed in with all the Halloween candies at Target, and since it is covered in orange & black sprinkles and caramel, I say it qualifies for a review. This is is seriously tasty. It's caramel popcorn all clumped together and molded to look like corn on the cob, and then covered in festive Halloween sprinkles. The packaging is nice too, with pumpkins, witch hats, Frankenstein's monster, and old tree silhouettes. The back of the wrapper also tells you to try heating it up in the microwave for 10-15 seconds as it's supposedly really good warm. Wish I knew that before I finished devouring the thing. Damn. Guess I'll have to pick up another. The horror...

out of 5 Counts (ah-ah-ah!)

Hubba Bubba Squeeze Pops
Vampire's Blood & Mummy Slime

I've seen these Vampire's Blood Squeeze Pops in the past and they're always a welcome treat, but Mummy Slime? Holy crap, there's such a thing as MUMMY SLIME!? I didn't even know mummies were slimy, yet there he is right on the tube, with slime seeping out from between his bandages! Amazing. Another surprise to me was that I actually enjoyed the sour apple flavoring of the mummy much more than the cherry vampire's blood, so the mummy is the clear winner all around this year.

Holy crap you guys... we just learned that mummies are slimy!

out of 5 Mad Scientists (for the Vampire's Blood)

out of 5 leaf piles (for the Mummy Slime)

Halloween Monster Slime Candy Gel

Between this and the Mallow Monsters, I think it's safe to say we have a serious new contender in the creative Halloween candy battlefield with Clever Confections. This Monster Slime packet comes with three flavors, green apple, strawberry, and blue raspberry - and the blue is easily the tastiest of the three. What I love about it, aside from the hilarious artwork that makes it look like you're sucking the slime right out of the zombie heads, and its completely unique shape, is that you can actually play a spin the bottle type game with this candy. Only difference is, instead of kissing somebody you don't want to, you get to suck down some sweet liquefied zombie brains. By the way, this stuff is MESSY. The viscosity is ridiculous, so if you're gonna eat it, don't plan on eating it with your fingers, just devour it straight from the nozzle.

out of 5 Chucky dolls

Cadbury Screme Egg

Tastes no different than their standard creme eggs, but come on... a Halloween themed egg with a GREEN yolk? How can you not absolutely adore that. I would like the fondant yolk center to be a bit greener, but it's still a fantastic idea. From the purple & green wrapping paper and awesome store display to the egg itself, Cadbury has finally embraced Halloween the way we always hoped they would. Now I could easily see these hatching and a Face Hugger jumping right out of their slimy ooze. Here's hoping they'll make a Halloween version of their insanely delicious candy-coated mini eggs next year too.

I also have to mention the awesome commercial from Canada that was produced for the Screme Eggs:

I don't know about you, but now I really want to see a full-length feature horror film based on the Screme Eggs.

(Note: I've been informed that if you buy them in Canada, you get your choice of three wrappers - the one you see pictured above, one that's wrapped like a mummy, and one with its brains exposed.)

out of 5 black widow spiders

Cemoi Bloody Eye

Oh yes, you thought Cadbury had the Halloween themed egg candy market corned, didn't you? WRONG. Cemoi has also released a Halloween egg of their own, only they call it a Bloody Eye. But make no mistake about it, this is the exact same shape and size as the Cadbury Screme Egg. However, it has a red center and the fondant is strawberry flavored. They also have two different tinfoil wrappings - one green and one orange. The strawberry flavoring is nice too and the chocolate is just as good as Cadbury's, so it really comes down to whether you're in the mood for a strawberry flavored center or the standard version. Just like with the Cadbury egg, I'd love to see the red center in these be more prominent, and a commercial where they're attacking innocent eggs... er eyeballs.

out of 5 puzzle boxes

So that does it for my Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2012. We had some great new candy entries this year, but I was surprised there were hardly any new giant marshmallow creations on store shelves. We've had giant marshmallow skulls, hearts, and even sandwiches... but I didn't spot any new ones this season. Strange. Nevertheless, there were plenty of surprise treats this year, the least of which being my survival of the taste test of so many candies. As always, I must remind you that many of the candies I reviewed last year and other previous years are back in stores again for this season, so be sure to keep an eye out for them as well. If you happen to spot any candies that I haven't covered yet, drop me a line and let me know so I can try to track 'em down before Halloween rolls around next year. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go convince Sam that I've done my Halloween duty by reviewing all these candies and that he doesn't need to try to slit my throat with his pumpkin lollipop.

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