Features

Halloween III: Season of the Witch! Halloween 3
by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED

TIME TO TAKE A TOUR! WEEEEEEEEEE!

The next day the Kupfer family shows up at the Silver Shamrock factory to go on a tour of the whole joint. Buddy Kupfer was the #1 Silver Shamrock mask salesman this year and that's why he and his whole family are being treated to this tour by Conal Cochran. Buddy, being the nice guy that he is, asks if his friends (Dr. Challis and Ellie) can come along for the tour too. Cochran is happy to oblige and we then get to see some cool footage of the actual Halloween masks being made. Plaster being poured into molds, masks being removed, trimmed and painted... the works.

I WANT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE!
FITS LIKE A GLOVE

Buddy's son, Little Buddy (and no, I don't mean Gilligan) is extremely excited about all of the Halloween masks and decides that he wants a pumpkin one. He goes to pick out one on the table but Cochran quickly stops him and says "that mask hasn't been through final processing yet." He goes on to explain that final processing is just their form of quality insurance, but he won't show them the final processing room claiming that he wouldn't want to expose anybody to the volatile chemicals. Buddy and his family just go along with it without even questioning why such extensive testing would need to be done on simple, rubber Halloween masks. Only in the movies I tell ya...

We are men in suits. We uh... like to just stand around here for no apparent reason. Yep.

As they walk outside, Challis and Ellie notice a lot of those creepy guys in suits just standing around the factory. Not moving, just waiting there as if there on guard. Does a novelty mask factory really need this much heavy security? Hell, there's probably more security on staff here than there are people in all of Santa Mira. Well I guess those security guys were are little careless, because they didn't cover up a car completely. And who's car was it? Ellie's father's car! She notices it and runs to check out out, but the suit men walk over and get in her way. Challis and Ellie are now positive that evil is afoot at the Silver Shamrock factory. Problem is, Cochran knows they're suspicious.

JOIN US! COME WEAR SUITS AND DRIVE LITTLE CARS TOO!

Later that night, after making a phone call, Challis returns to the motel room to find the door open and Ellie missing. When he turns around, he sees not one but five of those creepy-assed suit guys staring at him. They start walking towards him slowly and he makes a run for it and escapes out the back window of his motel room. It's past curfew so nobody is outside, nobody except for those creepy guys who are now driving some zippy economy cars with the Silver Shamrock logo painted on 'em in hopes of finding Challis.

NINJA DOCTOR!
ROBOT :O

Challis, being part doctor and part ninja, decides to break into the Silver Shamrock factory to see if he can find what happened to Ellie. Instead, he finds a suit guy who wants to choke the life out of him. Challis punches the suit guy in the face twice and it doesn't even appear to phase him. The suit guy starts to strangle him, but the doctor rolls over on him and starts punching him in the stomach. His hand eventually goes through the stomach and he pulls out a bunch of wires and yellow goo. The same yellow goo that is now pouring out of the dead suit guy's face.

Say! Wait a minute! Those suit guys aren't humans... THEY'RE ROBOTS! If you realized this long ago, give yourself 2 extra credits points for "noticing the obvious".

HOW'D THEY STEAL FRIGGIN' STONEHENGE!?

Too bad for the Doc, he made a lot of noise fighting with that one robot and now he's been taken hostage by Conal. I keep wanting to call Conal "Colonel" because it's basically pronounced the same. Besides, he and Colonel Sanders both have white hair, and I wouldn't be surprised if Cochran can make some tasty fried chicken. Well, it might be robotic chicken, but it'd be tasty nonetheless.

Anyway, Conal takes Dr. Challis deep into the secret computing area of the Silver Shamrock factory. Oh and that big stone in the middle there? That's a monolith from Stonehenge that they stole! Now, one would think you don't just waltz in and steal a monolith from Stonehenge and go unnoticed. So how does Cochran explain how they got the rock? "Ha ha. We had a TIME getting it here. You wouldn't believe how we did it!" And that's it... no other explanation whatsoever. Now that's what I call brilliant writing; when an idea is so absurd that even you, the writer, can't explain it, simply have one of your lead characters make a joke about it and then move on.

TESTING, TESTING, 1, 2... DEAD

Cochran goes onto explain that Stonehenge was an ancient sacrificial circle and the stone has a power in it. And what better way to show off that power than with a demonstration? He points to one of the monitors where we see Buddy Kupfer and his family in a test room. The Kupfer's think they're there just to give their opinions on some new Silver Shamrock commercials. Oh how wrong they are. And now we come to what is easily my favorite moment of Halloween III...

I AM EVIL. HA HA HA!
KEEP WATCHIN THAT TV KID

Little Buddy Kupfer sits right up next to the TV like all children who want to rot out their eyes by age 15 want to do. The Silver Shamrock commercial appears on the screen and then a computerize pumpkin graphic starts flashing on and off and appears to be interacting with the "seal of approval" on the back of Little Buddy's mask.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
SEE? I TOLD YOU TV ROTS YOUR BRAIN

Little Buddy Kupfer being clutching the mask which appears to be melting and something is obviously wrong. He soon collapses to the ground and a ton of bugs start pouring out from what used to be his head. There's even a few snakes crawling out of there! The Buddy Kupfer and his wife start screaming, the wife passes out and Buddy gets bit by a rattlesnake that just came out of his sons face. So that's the reward for being the #1 Silver Shamrock salesman? Sheesh, I'd hate to see what they do to those who well poorly!

So that's the evil plan of Conal Cochran. He's going to kill a ton of his across the nation this Halloween with his Silver Shamrock masks by melting their faces and turning them into a pile of insects 'n snakes. Again, any movie that's willing to ignore the taboo subject of killing children and just go with it is AOK in my book.

And how does Dr. Challis react to this horrific sight?
I swear this is a fucking classic moment!

100%   R-A-W   E-M-O-T-I-O-N

Only after countless years of training in the theater and studying his craft can an actor summon such raging emotions at any given moment. How the hell was he overlooked for an Oscar? Can somebody please tell me? This guy should be a fucking STAR!

THAT'S RIGHT ROBOTS, CHIP AWAY AT HISTORY
TRICK-OR-TREAT WHILE YOU CAN KIDDIES!

Then they haul off the doctor so he can settle down after letting out all that seething rage. In the meantime, the robots keep chipping away at Stonehenge monolith so they can add little bits of it to the Silver Shamrock seals. After all, it's almost Halloween and they want to make sure every mask on the market has that deadly Stonehenge element ready to kill all o' them kiddies. We're then treated to children in various towns across the nation running around in their Halloween masks. I guess most of them are doing their trick-or-treating early this year so they can make it home in-time for the big Silver Shamrock special TV event.

He's just drilling a hole in your head to let the demons out.

Back at the hospital, Dr. Challis' friend is examining the parts from the car that was burned up from when Ellie's father was killed. Somehow she's discovered that those parts were from a robot. Don't ask me how, but she's apparently "onto it" and therefore needs to die. So a robot suit guy comes in and finds a power drill to shove into her cranium. For some reason the camera cuts away to an angle where we can't see this actually happening. So for those of you wondering, let's break it down:

1. Guy getting his nose crushed: AOK!
2. Guy getting his head torn off: AOK!
3. Woman having her face melted: AOK!
4. Kid having his face turned into a pile of bugs: AOK!

5. Woman getting a drill in her skull: NOT OK!

Either they had some weird issue with the ratings board, or they just ran out of money to make a convincing human head to drill into. Ah well, it was a pointless death anyway. I mean really, what was she gonna do... call the police and say, "There's a bunch of evil robots working at this novelty mask factory! You've got to do something!"

I don't think so.

Sadly, many people wished they were watching the original Halloween movie when they saw this one

Cut back to the Silver Shamrock factory and Conal Cochran explains to the restrained doctor why he is trying to kill all the children this Halloween:

"Do I need a reason? Mr. Kupfer was right, you know ... I do love a good joke and this is the best ever, a joke on the children. But there's a better reason ... you don't really know much about Halloween ... you thought no further than the strange custom of having your children wear masks and go out begging for candy. It was the start of the year in our old Celtic lands, and we'd be waiting ... in our houses of wattles and clay. The barriers would be down, you see, between the real and the unreal, and the dead might be looking in ... to sit by our fires of turf. Halloween ... the festival of Samhain! The last great one took place three thousand years ago, when the hills ran red ... with the blood of animals and children. To us, it was a way of controlling our environment. It's not so different now ... it's time again. In the end ... we don't decide these things, you know ... the planets do. They're in alignment, and it's time again. The world's going to change tonight, doctor, I'm glad you'll be able to watch it. And ... Happy Halloween."

He places one of the masks on the Doc and turns on the TV so that he too can experience the face-turning-into-bugs-n-snakes holiday joy later that night. Of course, they pay tribute to the original Halloween movie by having it playing on the TV at the time. For some reason, however, they didn't restrain Challis' legs and they put the TV on a low stand so that he could easily kick it. He then uses a shard of glass from the TV screen to cut through his restraints.

How did he know how to use that computer?

After he escapes, he finds Ellie lying down on a table in some restraints, so he frees her and then sneaks back into the main control room where all the evil is set to take place. I don't know how he does it, but the doctor walks up to one of the control panels and presses a bunch of unmarked buttons which magically start the flashing pumpkin program that's used to make the masks kill the children. How did he know which buttons to push? How did he sneak in there unnoticed? I'm sure if we asked Cochran he would again make a joke about it and say, "Ha ha. He had a TIME sneaking in there. You wouldn't believe how he did it!" and then change the subject. So we'll just leave it at that.

*ZZZZZZZZT!*
*ERROR!*

Challis then finds a box filled with those seals of approval that contain the evil Stonehenge-laced microchips in them. So he climbs up to the ceiling and then dumps them down onto the robots and the computers while the flashing pumpkin program is running. The seals start zapping everyone and everything in site, and soon all the robots have been destroyed.

HA HA! JOKES ON YOU COCHRAN!
WELL DONE!

Even Cochran himself is amused by how badly he screwed up and gives a nice little golf clap to Dr. Challis before he too gets killed. But here's the weird thing...

STONEHENGE ANGRY! >:(  RAAAAAAAR!
BYE BYE HAN COCHRAN

Rather than having his face melted and turned into a bunch of bugs 'n snakes, when Cochran gets zapped by the laser it looks more like he's been frozen in carbonite or dipped in confectionary sugar. He then simply fades away. Kind of a disappointing death for the main bad guy of the movie. A guy with such an amusingly evil charisma definitely deserved something more than merely vanishing.

SO MANY COOL MASKS, LOST IN THE BLAZE :(

From there, the rest of the masks catch fire followed by the entire factory itself. Looks like Dr. Challis has saved the day and now he 'n Ellie can go home and he can try to explain to his wife what he was doing with Ellie. Or not.

WHAT THE!?
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD, SHE-BOT!

They start driving the car home when, all of a sudden, Ellie attacks the Doc. It turns out Ellie was murdered and replaced with a robot that looked exactly like her. Oh Cochran, you old prankster you! Challis crashes the car and then bashes robo-Ellie in the face with a tire iron, taking her head clean off. She still manages to attack him with a severed arm in a hilarious bad arm vs. man sequence. After he does away with the arm, he runs off to that same gas station from the beginning of the movie... 

TRICK OR TREAT? TIME FOR A TRICK!

Challis quickly uses the phone as the attendant hands out Halloween candies to all of the trick-or-treaters who are of course wearing Silver Shamrock masks.

TURN IT OFF!
PLEASE STANDBY, WE'LL KILL YOU SHORTLY

One of the kids runs over to the TV so he can catch the Silver Shamrock Halloween special. Challis calls the TV station and tells them that they have to turn it off because it's gonna kill all the children. Apparently there's just one number (that he knows off the top of his head???) that a person can call in order to get anything playing on all TV channels shut down. Well they shut down two of the Silver Shamrock commercials quickly. Call me crazy, but if some guy called a TV station saying a bunch of children would die if they air a certain evil commercial, they'd hang up on his ass faster than you can say trick-or-treat. But no, they actually shut down two of the commercials.

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
I AM EMOTIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The kid keeps changing the channels though and he finds one more channel that is still running the Silver Shamrock flashing pumpkin commercial with the insanely repetitive carnival music. Challis screams on the phone but they're not shutting that last one down. Oh no! It's too late! All the children are gonna die.

Yeah uh, Challis ol' buddy ol' pal? How about you tell those three kids that are STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU to take off the masks for chrissakes. Ah well, I suppose a doctor can't be bothered with little details like these. And furthermore, neither can horror fans like us, right? RIGHT. So that's it for Halloween III: Season of the Witch... Cochran may have kicked the bucket and faded into oblivion, but it appears that he did have the last laugh.

AND NOW FOR AN EXTRA SURPRISE FOR ALL YOU GOOD KIDDIES!
PUT ON YOUR SILVER SHAMROCK HALLOWEEN MASKS AND CLICK BELOW!

Click here to send an animated musical Halloween 3 card to a friend!

HAPPY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! SILVER SHAMROCK!

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
Email -RoG-

 

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:


John Carpenter's Prince Of Darkness!

Reader Comments

 

OLD COMMENTS:

Pickled Patriarch
Oct 16th, 2009, 04:41 PM
Those of you who viewed my coverage of the 2009 Halloween Horror Nights saw that the "Life and Crimes of Michael Myers" maze had a special room dedicated to Halloween III: Season of the Witch. In celebration of this, I went ahead and updated my old article about the movie and put it into the new site template so you guys can finally talk about it on here! Happy, Happy Halloween! Silver Shamrock!
Unfunny Python Reference
Oct 16th, 2009, 04:51 PM
Please do this for Dock Mock
taco loving zombie
Oct 16th, 2009, 05:09 PM
i watched this movie yesterday is really good i also noticed the doctor is a character from prince of darkness
Pickled Patriarch
Oct 16th, 2009, 05:10 PM
Ex Leper: I would love to show it on Doc Mock (along with many other favorite films o' mine), but we'd need to get the rights to do so from whoever currently owns the film, and they'd probably charge a small fortune.

Darkvare: You're confusing Tom Atkins (Halloween 3) with Jameson Parker (Prince of Darkness). It's probably because of the mustache.
The best...around
Oct 16th, 2009, 05:37 PM
STOP IT !!!
taco loving zombie
Oct 16th, 2009, 06:52 PM
you are right moustaches do tend to blind me with their awesomeness
Forum Virgin
Oct 16th, 2009, 09:01 PM
Saw this back when it first came out, and boy was I disturbed. That whole snakes in the head thing made me nauseous as a kid. It wasn't Michael Myers, but it was somehow worse.
Member OfThe Pigmask Army
Oct 16th, 2009, 10:10 PM
Oh my god, there's a mask for Micheal on the Side, DEAR GOD IT LOOKS AWFUL! XD Here it is.
pickled
Oct 16th, 2009, 11:16 PM
I always enjoyed this movie. Kinda gotta turn your brain off for a bit, though.
King of the Monsters
Oct 16th, 2009, 11:36 PM
didn't you already cover this movie before??? *could've sworn you had* Unless you just felt like sharing it again with us, which is totally cool.
Pickled Patriarch
Oct 16th, 2009, 11:46 PM
Primortal: Read the first comment in this Halloween III discussion thread
Forum Virgin
Oct 17th, 2009, 12:27 AM
The Irish theming of the town reminds me of a town I drove through when on a road trip once. It is in the Texas panhandle and it is called Shamrock, and the town has an irish theming to it, though I do not know if there is a toy factory there. That would be awesome though.
Member
Oct 17th, 2009, 05:46 AM
You know what I always enjoyed about the complaints about this movie? It's always the fact that this film is "shapeless" it never has anything to do with the robots. I mean seriously if Myers was in it nobody would have a problem with life-like frikkin androids in the film!!!

Like yourself though, EXCEPT for the robots I found the film to be very enjoyable. It's a very scary concept if you think of it (a carrier wave like tv killing you). Also very timely at the time of release for such a concept as the "evil" that is cable television is finally hitting the high levels of saturation it is today. The more frightning thing is there is technology to do this sort of thing RIGHT now! Now making your head melt and turn into bugs an snakes no, but a specilized tv signal that'll cause nausia on the low end and seizures or even death on the high end, hell yes it could happen! Just keep that in mind the next time you watch a republican town hall meeting on the tv.... they might try to just get rid of us.
With More Yes Than Ever
Oct 17th, 2009, 09:56 AM
Any chance of updating more of the old stuff in the future? Commenting is awesome.
Butt Wipe
Oct 17th, 2009, 10:55 PM
I wish this movie would have been successful so there would have been more Halloween movies with completely random plots. Really, are any of the Halloween movies with Michael Myers worth seeing after the first two?
Forum Virgin
Oct 18th, 2009, 12:23 AM
I absolutely loved this movie, I always looked at as what happened on that Halloween that Michael was resting up after being burned in part 2.
Fanboy
Oct 18th, 2009, 01:18 AM
Always loved this piece RoG, especially for that Cochran clapping animated-gif which is just pure win. (Bet you had a TIME making it).

Dan O'Herlihy is my favorite thing about this flick. He's one of the best horror baddies ever, and he doesn't need to chop up a single amorous babysitter. That's why I kind of prefer him as a villain rather than young Michael Myers.

Plus there's the Santa Mira in-joke, which is a little piece of gold.
the axe and the smasher
Oct 19th, 2009, 12:08 AM
I love this movie, no matter how flawed. I remember my local channels running the trick or treating scene as part of their Halloween programming bumpers.
I am Johnny Luchador
Oct 19th, 2009, 01:13 AM
I dont think this movie ever gets old to me.
Sloth, PhD
Oct 19th, 2009, 02:03 AM
Dammit... after 10 years, I'd finally got that fracking song out of my head, and you go and ram it right back in there. Silver Shamrock!
I am Johnny Luchador
Oct 19th, 2009, 10:53 AM
Even though it never gets old to me, I still question like half the stuff that happens in this movie. I mean, some of the deaths make no sense to what is going on with the movie, for example Robo Ellie. She's killed, then made into a robot, then killed again by a mighty pimp slap. I think the only reason I end up watching this movie in the series is for the Silver Shamrock song, and the ladys face getting melted by the laser.
bad case of the dead
Oct 19th, 2009, 04:34 PM
i saw this for the first time at your apartment in va. at the part when evol robots are running amok and busting down doors you mentioned offhandedly that robots hate doors. that just stuck with me for some reason :o
Forum Virgin
Oct 19th, 2009, 08:00 PM
I wish snakes would crawl out of MY melting, collapsing skull
King of the Monsters
Oct 21st, 2009, 12:40 PM
Oh... thanks for replying. ^^ now I know... and knowing is half the battle.
sadomasochist
Sep 11th, 2010, 03:55 PM
i wonder how long it took the guy to throw that mask up on the camera.....one of those 1 in 1000 shot
Member
Sep 13th, 2010, 12:38 AM
I like all the fake heads they used in this movie it's sort of hilarious
Forum Virgin
Oct 25th, 2011, 09:49 AM
good movie ,watched it last night
great special effects/and soundtrack from john carpenter
not connected to the original halloween,which makes it an enjoyable film,more in
the sci-fi/horror mode!!!!
The Medium-Height Man
Oct 25th, 2011, 05:29 PM
Got some typos in there, RoG. Don't worry, I've got it covered...

"Challis, being part doctor and part AWESOME..."

"He's going to FONDLE a ton of his across the nation this Halloween with his Silver Shamrock masks by melting their faces and turning them into a pile of insects 'n snakes."

"This guy IS a fucking STAR! TOM ATKINS IS THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF. THRILL ME."

I hope that helps. Maybe you should proofread your articles a little more closely.
Pickled Patriarch
Oct 25th, 2011, 11:03 PM
Heheh, nice "corrections" there, Wyckid. Believe me, I'm well aware of the genius that is Tom Atkins including his classic role in Night of the Creeps. I just wish he really was a huge star... then again, it's probably best we get to enjoy him in the realm of b-movies. I think that's where the guy was always meant to truly shine.
Forum Virgin
Oct 26th, 2011, 02:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonicteam3000 View Post
i wonder how long it took the guy to throw that mask up on the camera.....one of those 1 in 1000 shot
good one,great scene that,id say tom atkins was practising that a good few times
Pickled Patriarch
Sep 14th, 2012, 03:50 PM
There's a new "Halloween III: Season of the Witch" collector's edition DVD & Blu-ray coming out this month and I think the new artwork looks awesome. Take a look!

Pickled Patriarch
Oct 29th, 2012, 08:29 PM
Thought you guys would enjoy seeing this. It's an awesome Halloween III: Season of the Witch tourist print I picked up last month:


Visit historic Santa Mira - home of Silver Shamrock Novelties. Bring the kids! Tour the factory!

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