by: Dr. Boogie

...CONTINUED

Sometime later, the Leprechaun has made it back to the house and sneaks in through the window. His goal is to find "me gold", but as we've already seen, he is quite prone to distraction:

Trying crappy off-brand Lucky Charms? Check.

Scaring yourself with a mirror? Check.

... shining shoes, including shoes that weren't meant to be shined? Check.

Despite this series of minor setbacks, the Leprechaun does get some actual searching down, and he makes quite a mess in the process. When the heroes... the good guys... when Tory and Nathan and Ozzie and Alex get back, then are shocked by the huge mess. Not so shocked that Nathan can't fit in a quick jab at Tory. "You know how to work one of these, right?" he says of the broom. Oh Nathan, you must write for The New Yorker!

Suddenly, they hear the ominous sound of a bicycle bell. Could it be that, still riding high after killing a cop and polishing some shoes, the Leprechaun returned to the collectibles shop and retrieved his tricycle?

No, Ozzie just found a spare bicycle bell (somebody tell Pee-Wee!). Whew, for a second there, things were almost scary.

But seconds later, the gang hears yet another bicycle bell! Could it be that Old Man O'Grady was a bellmaker by trade?

The camera actually zooms in on the bell on the table, in case you weren't able to tell that Ozzie wasn't using it simply by hearing the bell and seeing him not using the damn bell. Now that's how you create tension in a motion picture.

Nathan decides to check outside for the source of this horrible sound. It's not that dark outside, but at the same time, it's not light enough for Nathan to avoid this:

He trips over a barrel and lands in a bear trap. When I say he "tripped on a barrel", I mean just that; the Leprechaun didn't roll the barrel into his feet, causing him to fall over. He simply tripped over the barrel because he wasn't looking where he was walking. You can even see both the barrel and the bear trap in the scene before as he slowly walks up to them. How Nathan has survived this long on his own is beyond me.

Anyway, even though he was only partially involved in this, the Leprechaun comes out to taunt Nathan with rhyming couplets:

"I gotcha in a bear trap, gonna make you shut your yap! I gotcha in a beat trap, you look like a stupid sap!"

He's definitely right about the stupid sap part. As for the yap-shutting part, he produces a small hatchet for that very purpose.

Is this the end for Nathan? Oh god, I wish it was, but no. Stuck as he is, he still manages to beat the hell out of the Leprechaun with his flashlight. The sound of their fighting is enough to bring out the other blathering idiots, and then they all start beating on the Leprechaun.

None of this is really working, so they send Ozzie to call the police, and Alex to get the shotgun. No surprise, Ozzie fails utterly, but Alex at least manages to find the shotgun.

Got him! Finally, Nathan manages to do something right. And Tory manages to channel enough strength into her twiggy, city slicker arms to pry the bear trap off his leg. Oh, but then the failure comes back in full force:

Nathan unloads the rest of the shells into the bush where the Leprechaun landed, even though it is painfully clear that he isn't there anymore. Then, much to their astonishment, they learn that Ozzie has convinced the police department that they are completely full of shit. No paramedics for them, I guess.

But surely this brain trust can figure out how to dress Nathan's wound without killing him. Then again, Tory asks Ozzie to fetch whatever medical supplies he can find, even though he continues to utter inane shit while she asks him. The best part, however, is when Alex asks if they can get Nathan to the pickup truck when the Leprechaun might still be out there.

Nathan says that he put 6 shots into the Leprechaun, and therefore, he must be dead. Tory just gives him an incredulous look. Is Nathan lying to assuage Alex's fear, or is he just a dumb sack of crap? Consider how he got the wound in the first place before you answer.

They bandage him well enough that he doesn't need an immediate amputation, and they manage to get into the truck without starting any fires. Good for them. Only the truck won't start. They send out Alex, arguably the most capable one among them, to check the distributor cap.

Ooh, looks like the Leprechaun already checked it for him. Alex leaps back into the cab, and the gang locks the doors and rolls up the windows. Too bad they bought a truck with a sugar glass windshield!

Nice work, Ozzie. It's hard to believe the Leprechaun was able to break through your skillful parries and get in close enough to bite off part of your ear.

Tory has the bright idea to burn the Leprechaun with the truck's cigarette lighter. It's a pretty weak attack, so much so that the Leprechaun actually takes the lighter from her and holds it to his nose for a bit longer before running off to the barn. What happens next is by far my favorite part of the whole movie:

The gang hears some strange noises coming from the barn (no, not more bicycle bells). What could this possibly mean!

If you guessed "the Leprechaun fled into the barn and made himself a sweet ass go-kart", give yourself a prize. Forget shoes, this guy must be a mechanical engineer by trade or Ireland's very own MacGyver. His new ride has a pitchfork on the front, and a passenger side jalopy horn to boot! Even so, what the hell good is it going to do him when his quarry is ensconced in there crappy pickup truck?

Two words: ramming speed!

Somehow, some way, the go-kart is able to flip the truck, even though it should've simply passed right underneath it. Amazing!!!

But the morons have a few tricks up their sleeves as well. In the time it takes the Leprechaun to jump out of his go-kart and open the truck door, they manage to recover from the shock of the impact, discretely exit the vehicle, and make their way over to a log, all without out making a sound or being seen. Now for part 2 of their plan: run like hell.

There's still more madness to Leprechaun!
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