Features

One Got Fat: A Bicycle Safety Film
by: -RoG-

Bicycle safety is something that resonates with me a bit more than most safety subjects because I was actually in a bike riding accident when I was a kid. I had just removed the training wheels from my bike before most of the other kids my age and thought I was the cat's pajamas at the time. Naturally, since I just removed my training wheels, I felt that I was qualified to bomb down the steepest hill in the entire neighborhood. At first, all was going well... sure, I was probably breaking a land-speed record, but I was maintaining control of my bike with no problems whatsoever. Unfortunately, when a friend who was at the top of the hill called out to me, I turned my head around to look back and respond to him as I continued down the hill. Before he could even shout at me to "look out!" I ran my bike headfirst into a truck. All I remember from it was being completely stunned and not knowing what the hell just happened, but perhaps that's because when my face impacted with the truck, my front teeth literally got shoved back up into the gums. As a result, I had to go through some major dental surgery as a kid and was on a first name basis with a plethora of dentists and orthodontists.

So yeah, I learned about bicycle safety the hard way as a kid. That being said, I'm not sure any cycling safety films would've done much to help prevent that accident from happening. Case in point: "One Got Fat". It's an old bicycle safety film from way back in 1963 that will blow your mind. It's not so much a film that teachers you the dangers of cycling recklessly, but a film that teaches you the dangers of taking hallucinogens before creating a safety film for children. Now let's take a look at just why watching this film is a lot like sticking your brain in between the spokes of a spinning bike wheel.

It starts off with 10 kids who are all friends and own bikes that they supposedly treat the same way that they treat themselves. Oh, and the kids apparently have twisty tails sticking out of their asses... more on that in a minute.

On this particular day, the kids all huddled together and decided that they wanted to throw a picnic in the park which is 9 blocks away. So, each of them ran home and packed a lunch and made sure to write his or her name on the bags so as to avoid any confusion. And what names they are, just look at those bags! With names like "Rooty", "Floog", "Tink" and "Slim", you know this is a group of real winners in life. The only thing they didn't win was the parent lottery.

So one of the ten kids, Orville Slump, had a basket on the back of his bike and this makes the fat kid (Slim) ask him to carry it, or as the narrator so elegantly puts it, "Slim knew that his big sack would be hard to handle..." Soon after, all of the kids wanted Orville to carry their lunches in his basket, and while he agrees to carry them, I don't see how the hell those lunches are gonna stay put without being tied down. I guess we'll just have to suspend our disbelief and assume Orville rides his bike so gently that you'd think he was floating. I should also note, as the bags appear one by one in the basket, if you look closely you'll notice that Tink has two bags that appear in it. You call it a blooper, I call it... SCANDAL!

But what about those twisted tails sticking out of their asses? Well, you see, here's the thing...


THE "KIDS" ARE GODDAMNED MONKEYS!!!

That's right, this is an educational safety film in which they have kids wearing horribly creepy paper-maché monkey masks showing you how to ride a bike properly. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. And maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but isn't wearing a mask while riding a bike a huge safety hazard since a mask significantly decreases your field of vision? Way to start things off by giving a good first impression there, geniuses. Oh and I'm sure you only count 9 monkeys in that picture, but there's a good reason they left the tenth one out, which you'll learn about a little later on. Onward to our first preceptorial primate!

Meet Rooty "Toot" Jasperson, he's got the newest bike out of all them and according to the narrator Rooty seems like a "slam-bang go-getter headed for big things in life." Why, because he's got a new bike that he far too proud of? Sounds like he's more of a jerk than anything. Apparently he didn't have time to make the proper signals while riding his bike just once. And the one time he didn't make a hand signal, a car crashed directly into him.

 

Get used to seeing that cartoonish accident animation that looks like it came straight out of the old Adam West "Batman" TV show, because any time one of these monkeys gets in an accident, they display it followed by a shot of their lunch bag. Yes indeed, Rooty "Toot" Jasperson was no longer a part of the group. I wonder who's gonna get to each his lunch?

This pretty primate is Tinkerbell McDillingfitty. She has a poor memory and sometimes forgets to watch the traffic signs when her thoughts start to wander. As a result, she ignores a stop sign and gets crushed by a big truck.

 

KAPOW! I guess the lesson here is, if you have a bad memory, you shouldn't ride a bike? That's a new one to me. Well, either way, we'll miss ya, Tink!

This is Phillip Floogal. He's a star athlete, class president and is the most handsome kid in school (at least that's what our narrator seems to think). I've seen a lot of portrayals of the most popular/successful/handsome kid in school in films, but I can't think of any other time where he was depicted as a monkey with a giant yellow feather in his cap. Oh how the popular styles have changes since the early 60's.

Anyway, Floog's character flaw is that he gets easily bored, so he decides to ride against the flow of traffic. Sure enough, a car suddenly pulls out of a parked spot on the road and the Floogster smashes right into it. What's really great is that you get to see his bulging eyes pop-out of his mask for a split second before he makes contact with the car.

 

The narrator states that Phillip Floogal is no longer bored, but I'd venture to guess that he's no longer handsome either now that his face is infused with the front of a car. Adios Floog!

Early in the film you notice that one of the monkeys is running on foot beside his bicycling pals. His name is Mossby Pomegranate and he never registered his bike and got a license for it. So last week when he was rehearsing for the lead in King Kong (har har!), somebody stole his bike. He went to the police to report it, but they couldn't find it because he never registered it. Ok, perhaps it's because I'm not a cyclist, but I don't know any kid that gets a license for his bicycle or even registers it anywhere these days. The fact is, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure taught us all one very important lesson: if somebody steals your bike, the police won't help at all... it's up to you to find it yourself!

 

No, Mossby doesn't get hit by a car while running in the streets, he simply gets exhausted from running and when he takes off his shoes, he notices that they're smoking. Hey, you may be without a bike and a lunch, but at least you're not dead Mossby. Hold your hairy head up high!

Next up, we've got two people riding on the same bike. The one doing all the work is Trigby Phipps, and his passenger on the front of the bike is "Slim" Jim McDoughney. Now here is where the narrator actually gets blatantly mean: "Slim Jim's bike recently collapsed from the effects of his diet." Look, it's obvious that Jim is the overweight one, and it's hilarious that you gave him the nickname "Slim" 'n all, but there is no way in hell that his bike "collapsed" due to his body weight. Unless his bicycle was made of tinfoil and wishes, I'm pretty fucking sure it could hold the weight of one kid. Hell, Brand in from The Goonies rode that little girl's bike and he probably weighed 3 times what Slim Jim here weighs.

As if that's not bad enough, the narrator then forms a sentence improperly when he says, "Trigby, being a nice little fellow, agreed to ride him." Shouldn't he be saying "Trigby, being a nice little fellow, agreed to give him a ride" instead? Between thinking Floog was extremely handsome to trying to put visuals of these two "riding" each other, I think the narrator has some subconscious sexual issues that need to be addressed.

Well anyway, as a result of Slim "BIKE CRUSHER" Jim riding on the handlebars, Trigby is unable to see where he's going. Sure, Slim waves his arms frantically for a good 20 seconds in advance of reaching the open manhole in the middle of the street, but it still doesn't seem to register with Trigby in time. I guess Trig needs a solid minute of advance warning before he can mentally process how to alter his cycling course.

 

After their lengthy plummet into the sewers and some godawful horrified monkey sound effects, we learn that you should always ride alone on a bike. But hey, screw that right? If you've got foot pegs and a friend needs a lift, give him a ride... or better yet, make HIM do all the peddling if he wants the ride so damned much!

This feisty dame is Nelly Swybach, and she doesn't like having other monkeys crowding her space when riding on a bike. She dislikes it so much that she actually shakes her fist in the air at them and then decides to go riding on the sidewalk. Kinda makes you wonder why they hangout with her to begin with eh? Well, sure enough, she doesn't know that you're supposed to yield to pedestrians when riding on the sidewalk - if it's even allowed in your city.

 

As a result, she crashes right into these two ladies who were walking home with some groceries. Through the director's trickery of playing the film in reverse, we see the two old ladies get jettisoned up into a nearby tree.

Nelly, however, wasn't saved by the director's trick photography. Maybe she can angrily shake her fists at the heavens for making her so blind to pedestrians.

This guy goes by the name Filbert Bagel (at least, I think he said "bagel") and he's too spoiled and lazy to take care of his old bike. It's in dire need of a tune up, as evidenced by the annoying and unnecessarily loud squeaky sounds, but he's just going to wait it out until his parents buy him a new one. Unfortunately for him, he's neglected his bike for so long that there aren't any brakes left. But here's where it gets insane...

Since we've already had some collisions with cars, they decided to up the ante this time by introducing a steamroller to the equation. That's right... those of you who are bad at obeying bicycling rules now have steamrollers to fear as well!

 

With his brakes failing him, Filbert succumbs to the steamroller and becomes a primate pancake, even though you and I know damned well that ANYBODY could dodge a steamroller... faulty brakes or not. Yes, even a monkey could get out of the way in time.

The monkey boy with the tongue sticking out is Stanerslaw Higginbottom. His story ends abruptly because he rides directly into a tunnel without lights or reflectors on his bike.

 

Of course, the cars in the tunnel apparently don't have any lights on either because it's pitch black in there when he gets smashed. I guess this one was a lesson for both bike riders and car drivers alike.

That leaves us with the tenth and final character, but wait! He's not wearing a monkey mask! What gives? Don't worry, the answer is coming soon. But first off, now we learn where the title "One Got Fat" came from. It's because Orville, the kid who was transporting all the lunches to the picnic was the only one who actually made it there. As a result, he's got a lot of lunches to eat.

I think they're missing one big point here though... Orville is going to get fat now, right? Won't that cause him to crush his own bike with his whale-like weight just like Slim supposedly did? Maybe Orville needs a lesson in dietary control. Just because you have ten lunches doesn't mean you need to eat ten lunches.

 

As you can see, Orville followed all the rules of bicycling safety by registering for a license, always making the proper hand gestures while on the road and keeping his bike tuned up. Hence the reason he's in perfectly healthy shape and the others are dead, stranded or hospitalized...

Keep in mind, all of these accidents happened during a simple 9-block bike ride to the park... I guess this means they live in some kind of monkey torture death zone neighborhood? They also found a way to have the monkey kids cover their eyes and mouths before the accidents, but never managed to get them to cover their ears. Come on! That was a perfect chance to complete the "see/speak/hear no evil" trifecta and they totally blew it! Just have a monkey on a bike ride past a loud outdoor rock concert or something and when he covers his ears, it causes him to lose control of his bike. Then they could say, "and that's why you should always keep your hands on the handlebars!" for that particular lesson. Oh, and since we don't have an extra monkey for that scene, I'd suggest bringing in a new monkey and since it was my idea, I get to name him. I'd say it's a toss up between "Horace Winterfield" and "Peanuckle McGillicutty" at the moment.

Believe it or not, the ENTIRE reason that the writer had these kids dressed as monkeys was so he could make a single joke at the end of the film: "As anyone can plainly see, he isn't a monkey, right?" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MY GOD THAT WAS SO WORTH THE FIFTEEN MINUTE BUILD-UP! WHAT A PAYOFF! HOLY SHIT, WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!! I'M GOING TO SHUT THIS SITE DOWN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'LL NEVER ACHIEVE THAT LEVEL OF NARRATIVE CRAFTSMANSHIP!

He may not be a monkey, but he's clearly an asshole. He left his stranded, injured and dead friends behind all so that he could eat their lunches? I hope you choke on one of their bananas and die a slow, lonely death, Orville. You should be in the hospital with your friends that are still alive, feeding them their lunches through a straw, you greedy bastard. By the way... carrying such a large unstable load on the back of your bike which could easily fall off and cause people behind you to get in an accident? That's not practicing bicycle safety either, brainiac.

When you think about it though, all the monkeys in this film were assholes, not just Orville. After all, not one of them stopped for their friends when they got in an accident. They just kept on riding! NOTHING was going to stop these monkeys from getting to their picnic, not even the death of a fellow primate! Honestly, I think bicycle safety was the last thing these monkeys needed to be concerned about. This world is better off without asshole monkeys who care nothing for their fellow simians. Perhaps that is the real lesson we've all learned here today.

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
Email -RoG-

For your viewing pleasure, here's One Got Fat in its entirety!

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

Bus Nut: An Educational School Bus Film!
Bus Nut: An Educational School Bus Film!

Reader Comments

Space Cowboy
Jan 31st, 2008, 07:19 AM
Monkey torture death zone is officially my new favorite phrase.
Forum Virgin
Jan 31st, 2008, 09:04 AM
"Slim knew his big sack would be hard to handle."

Wow.
High Priest of Burbank
Jan 31st, 2008, 10:35 AM
The noise when Slim and Trigby fall down the manhole is terrifying.
Ants Who Ruin Your Dinner
Jan 31st, 2008, 10:37 AM
Wait, if the fat kid crushed his bike, why can he AND that skinny one be together on another?
Forum Virgin
Jan 31st, 2008, 10:46 AM
They DO have a "hear no evil" moment! It's when Mossby Pomegranate fails in his Flash impersonation. You even included a picture of him doing it!
Danskjšvlar!
Jan 31st, 2008, 11:15 AM
Look at Orville's ears. Yikes.
High Priest of Burbank
Jan 31st, 2008, 11:25 AM
Actually, I don't see why Slim's fat ass isn't running with Mossby, he could seriously use it.
なにをみてんだよ
Jan 31st, 2008, 12:08 PM
You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
is hopped up on goofballs
Jan 31st, 2008, 01:05 PM
Holy crap, those damn dirty apes were assholes to boot! It's a good thing Moses blew up that Omega Bomb thingy and killed 'em all.
#1 on the ignore list
Jan 31st, 2008, 01:16 PM
Right? Right? Riiiiiiiight?

RIGHT!
OH GOD
Jan 31st, 2008, 01:50 PM
TRIGBY'S NOTES
Pickled Patriarch
Jan 31st, 2008, 02:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Codiekitty View Post
Wait, if the fat kid crushed his bike, why can he AND that skinny one be together on another?
Exactly my point. I guess Trigby's bike must be made of solid steel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbkerr View Post
They DO have a "hear no evil" moment! It's when Mossby Pomegranate fails in his Flash impersonation. You even included a picture of him doing it!
Hehe I understand from the picture it looks like that, but he's really just smacking his cheeks in a "aaaahhhhh!!!" king of way, just like Kevin in Home Alone.
pickled
Jan 31st, 2008, 04:30 PM
This movie must have scared a whole generation of kids shitless!
Forum Virgin
Jan 31st, 2008, 06:29 PM
Nightmares...I will have them.

*runs off to show her children*
The Power of Grayskull
Jan 31st, 2008, 06:46 PM
Good lord. I'm very glad after seeing this that I grew up in the 80s rather than the freaked out 60s.
Demeted Clown
Jan 31st, 2008, 06:56 PM
Funny, I have seen the video a while back because I stumbled across it so I knew what -RoG- was talking about. Thats what I've been thinking, They don't even stop for their friends. Monkey Torture Death Zone.
Member
Jan 31st, 2008, 07:29 PM
This... is... absolutely amazing.
after enough bourbon ...
Jan 31st, 2008, 08:37 PM
This reminds me of those "health" class videos we were chained down and forced to watch in 7th and 8th grade (Syphillis! - Don't let this happen to YOU!). Excellent job.
grants but one wish
Jan 31st, 2008, 09:57 PM
i saw those monkey masks and immediatly thought "perfect B-movie material!" think about it, "Night of the Killer Monkey Cyclists"
Last of the Time Lords
Feb 1st, 2008, 01:00 AM
In a bizarre twisted way this reminds me of that banned music video for "Prime time of your life" by Daft Punk. The one where everyone but one kid is a skeleton. I'm quite certain that those monkey masks are far more terrifying than bones, however.
The Magnificent Bastard
Feb 1st, 2008, 02:33 AM
I think you were right about the hallucinogens, Rog.

I also thought the "squish" sound when the steamroller hit was especially morbid.
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Feb 1st, 2008, 04:06 AM
that picture of the omnkey masks is really going to give me nightmares, its almost as bad as that film, harpya
Forum Virgin
Feb 1st, 2008, 04:24 AM
I joined I-Mockery to say one thing and thing only.

A bicycle safety film where APES EVOLVE FROM MEN!?!

Someone had to say it.
Clap if you love Dynamo
Feb 1st, 2008, 08:07 AM
"He may not be a monkey, but he's clearly an asshole. He left his stranded, injured and dead friends behind all so that he could eat their lunches?"

I suggest a different view of this. In an earlier shot, you see the other nine monkeys having fun, but you don't see Orville. I think Orville resented the fact that he was good enough to be their mule, but not good enough to frolic with the nine monkeys in that shot. So when they all ended up in traction, he ate their lunch in an act of revenge. :P
Waiting for the worms.
Feb 1st, 2008, 09:50 AM
creepy-dead-looking-black-eyeholes-of-doom.

Hyphenated words FTW. But seriously. Those masks are frigging creepy.
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
Feb 1st, 2008, 11:58 AM
Those masks are friggin' brilliant handcrafted outsider art.
Pickled Patriarch
Feb 1st, 2008, 01:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pentegarn View Post
I suggest a different view of this. In an earlier shot, you see the other nine monkeys having fun, but you don't see Orville. I think Orville resented the fact that he was good enough to be their mule, but not good enough to frolic with the nine monkeys in that shot. So when they all ended up in traction, he ate their lunch in an act of revenge. :P
Fuck that. What really happened at the very beginning of the film is Orville sped on ahead to the park to eat their lunches when the monkeys weren't looking, this caused all of the monkeys to worry regarding the whereabouts of both Orville and their lunches. As a result, their minds being so distracted with worriment, each monkey didn't pay enough attention to the road and got picked off one by one.

You know you're distracted when you let a steamroller crush you.
magical sea leprechaun
Feb 1st, 2008, 04:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mockery View Post
Fuck that. What really happened at the very beginning of the film is Orville sped on ahead to the park to eat their lunches when the monkeys weren't looking, this caused all of the monkeys to worry regarding the whereabouts of both Orville and their lunches. As a result, their minds being so distracted with worriment, each monkey didn't pay enough attention to the road and got picked off one by one.

You know you're distracted when you let a steamroller crush you.

I think you might be onto something there, perhaps all the little monkey kids aren't the horrible bastards we think they are for leaving their dead comrads lying in the street. Rather than being indifferent to all the bloody corpses they were too concerned about that asshole orville running off with their lunches to notice.....


besides that, shouldn't we maybe give some of the blame for running over the monkey kids to the people driving the cars? especially the steam roller, how hard can it be to stop something going a whopping 400 feet per hour?
Freelance Product Tester
Feb 1st, 2008, 08:55 PM
I'm not watching that thing. I'll probably have nightmares if I do.
WHAM!
Feb 1st, 2008, 09:30 PM
I think those masks are to scare the children into such shock that they will not wish to leave the house. No bicycle riding means no being crushed by steam rollers, which means improved safety! Huzzah!
Nobody says whee
Feb 2nd, 2008, 12:50 AM
That music sounded like it was from a Ren & Stimpy episode.
Forum Virgin
Feb 2nd, 2008, 02:53 AM
The film's narrator is Edward Everett Horton, an old-time actor probably best known nowadays as the narrator of the "Fractured Fairy Tales" on The Bullwinkle Show.

The son of the director of this film had some things to say about this:

http://animationguildblog.blogspot.c...fety-this.html

Quote:
Originally Posted by panther3k
That music sounded like it was from a Ren & Stimpy episode.
Ren & Stimpy mostly used old production music, so some of the cues might actually have been used in this film.
bad case of the dead
Feb 2nd, 2008, 11:36 AM
like anyone would care if a bunch of monkeys ended up in the hospital
Forum Chaos Lord
Feb 2nd, 2008, 12:34 PM
I've seen horror movies less frightening then the contents of this movie.
From the Home of MST3K
Feb 2nd, 2008, 01:30 PM
So let me get this straight...

Your reward for biking safely is to get fat eating monkey food?

And there's a thin green line that goes through everything.
Member
Feb 2nd, 2008, 01:44 PM
Why must the narrator keep saying "Right?...right." after every death? It's unsettling!
GoldMember
Feb 2nd, 2008, 04:48 PM
When I saw the picture that showed the apes I had to scroll back up the page and calm myself down before I could continue, also, they need to put a Death Count on the top left corner, ever death it goes up by one! Mwahahahahaa.
Ace find -RoGelz-!
Forum Virgin
Feb 2nd, 2008, 07:59 PM
beggars the question why fat monkey kid didnt jump off if he could plainly see he was about to ride into the hole
GoldMember
Feb 2nd, 2008, 08:37 PM
I was thinking the EXACT same thing Mr. Flashman! I mean, 20 SECONDS is a loooong time to react to something like imminent death.
Exploding In...3...2...1
Feb 3rd, 2008, 10:58 AM
Hmmm, Maybe Orville had a grudge on them, so he BRAINWASHED them to be hits by cars,steamroller etc.
Clap if you love Dynamo
Feb 3rd, 2008, 03:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mockery View Post
Fuck that. What really happened at the very beginning of the film is Orville sped on ahead to the park to eat their lunches when the monkeys weren't looking, this caused all of the monkeys to worry regarding the whereabouts of both Orville and their lunches. As a result, their minds being so distracted with worriment, each monkey didn't pay enough attention to the road and got picked off one by one.

You know you're distracted when you let a steamroller crush you.
That works too. As long as someone is fucking someone over I'm happy
What? Me worry?
Feb 4th, 2008, 11:51 PM
HAHAHA @ 10:59 When Filbert gets crushed. You can even hear the blood squish out of his body! HAHAHAAHAH! Oh man. This shit is priceless! Even his eye balls bulges out.

Ahhhh ...love it. Thanks for sharing this gem.
Member
Feb 5th, 2008, 12:56 AM
Not the gripping, tour de force that was Bus Nut, but a worthy effort nonetheless.
Psychobabble Debate Champ
Feb 5th, 2008, 01:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Article above me
I think they're missing one big point here though... Orville is going to get fat now, right? Won't that cause him to crush his own bike with his whale-like weight just like Slim supposedly did?
Simple:

"Slim" Jim Beam over there had the nickname slim for a reason. He was the previous year's take on that video's franchise. Then he ated all the lunches for himself, got fat, back on the mayo, then wrecked his car so he was bummin' rides one day down in the valley when his old buddy Fshlorgel Fshlooplalopnik offers him a ride. Then him and OJ simpson walked in, slit the lizard's throat, and jesus I am out of madness.

On a related note, I think the purpose of the masks were to show the kiddies of that day and age horribly disfigured people without *really* freakin out the snowflakes. Those are crudely misshapen, they remind me of the masks the kids wear in Pink Floyd "The Wall" Just frighteningly distiurbing.

AND FUNNY AS HELL!!!
Not Another Whipping Boy
Feb 5th, 2008, 07:17 PM
Disturbing, but not nearly as disturbing as Napolean Dynamite.
Forum Virgin
Feb 6th, 2008, 05:48 PM
Part of the blame actually goes towards the company that made the bike that was ridden by two kids. Who the hell puts the part where the second rider stands in front of the driver? It should always be behind the driver! It's like they were brainstorming ways to get kids into accidents so they can be paid to make this film.
Deadite
Feb 7th, 2008, 01:19 AM
True story: There were no bicycle accidents in the entire 60's decade BECAUSE ALL THE KIDS WERE SCARED SHITLESS.
Forum Virgin
Feb 7th, 2008, 06:14 PM
I preferred Bus Nut, but that was hilarious. Good job, again, Rog! ^^
and that was...scary O___O
Reptilus Rex
Feb 11th, 2008, 10:56 PM
Honestly, I took the whole monkey comment as a racial connotation.
MY NEW HERO IS U.S
Feb 21st, 2008, 02:00 PM
All i want to know is why the monkey in the hospital is wearing a stethoscope?
Forum Virgin
Apr 19th, 2008, 09:23 PM
I can't believe no one mentioned bike helmets!
Did bikers not have to wear them in the 60s?
Oh, and Rifftrax just added this to thier list of shorts!

http://www.rifftrax.com/ondemand/one-got-fat
MELTING WATCHES, GALA!
Apr 21st, 2008, 10:43 AM
My god,the producers of this shit were stoned.

Those monkey masks look creepy.
Forum Virgin
May 29th, 2008, 08:53 PM
The monkey boy in the ninth pic sure looks like Donkey Kong to me
Insane Writer
Oct 4th, 2008, 11:53 PM
Dear god, I could have gone for seeing one of those.

I remember this one bike safety video I saw and the "improper biking techniques" were always demonstrated by this unsuspecting (and apparently extremely stupid) dude who would bike incorrectly and get hit by a car or something. At the end of the movie, a family goes to enter a biking contest and the daughter shouts "Hey, look at that guy" and sure enough, the poor bugger's there, head wrapped in bandages, several teeth missing, and waving a bike helmet.
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