Features

The Slumber Party Massacre II!
by: Dr. Boogie

...CONTINUED

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

If you guessed a scene featuring another song by the band, you guessed right! Look, I get that they wanted to make a musical instead of a horror movie, but come on. Just play the hand you were dealt!

Finally, something interesting happens: Courtney goes for a snack from the fridge and is attacked by a chicken.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

I'm speechless.

Of course, the rest of the crew comes in and sees it's just a chicken. Courtney is clearly losing her mind, and given her family's trouble with mental illness you'd think her friends would be a little more supportive.

Later still, blood in the bathtub:

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Once again, Courtney tells her friends and they see nothing. Seriously, TAKE THIS CHICK HOME!

Sally tries to deflect the conversation of her friend's nervous breakdown by talking about her face breaking out in zits.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Now it seems like Courtney's hallucinations are getting a little closer together, as Sally's zit takes on a whole new dimension.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

I'm not saying it's unnerving, but after seeing all the other nightmares, surely she must at least be thinking this could all be fake. Not Courtney. She races downstairs and tells everyone that Sally's face blew up like an outtake from a Clearasil ad. Is that what happened? No, it is not. Is Sally's body laying on the floor? Nope.

Sally is missing, though, and no one can explain that. Suddenly, they hear a sickening grinding, crunching sound coming from the trash compactor. As though it were compacting bones...

Could it be that we're finally about to kick off this sleep over massacre? It's a fucking miracle!

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Rather than check the trash compactor themselves, they call the cops over. It turns out there's no human corpse in the trash compactor, and Sally reappears after having gone to the store to pick up some things. Oh, thank god! We almost had a moment of suspense there, but thank goodness we nipped that right in the bud!!

Matt arrived at some point, too. I just thought you should know that since he'll be in a few more pics and no one mentions that he's suddenly at the condo.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Courtney's meltdown takes a breather as Matt takes her upstairs and gives her a little birthday cake. Matt really needs to think about if he wants to get involved with a girl who has this much emotional baggage. Nevertheless, they get onto the topic of how she and her sister killed that serial killer in the first movie. Yeah, remember that movie where a killer showed up and did stuff? Good call reminding us of that.

Then The Sleeping Theme starts up again. You know that that means: Another empty threat session with Unnamed Rock n' Roll Freddy Krueger. Can't wait for more of this.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Hey, he's actually doing something.

I mean, it looks like he killed Matt by drilling a hole through his chest with his guitar, but everything up until now has been nothing, so how can we be sure this is actually something?

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
"Does this look like a dream to you!?"

Yes. Yes it does. You aren't helping.

So Courtney runs off and there's no blood and...

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Oh wait, he's actually still around. And everyone can see him. And he still has the drill. We might have to start paying attention here, folks.

TJ shows remarkable chutzpah and takes a swing at the rocker with Courtney's guitar. He misses completely and winds up getting drilled in the leg. He does manage to distract the rocker long enough for Jeff to shove him away with a lamp.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Real fearsome villain you've got there.

So they flee and leave Sally alone to her fate.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Those talking horses were right: friendship IS magic!

Sheila and TJ bolt down the street while everyone else hides in the bushes. They decide to drive off in Jeff's car, but wouldn't you know it, he left the keys on the kitchen table. There's talk of rescuing Sheila and TJ, but as Jeff says, they "must be a million miles away by now." Yeah, TJ is probably walking off that drill wound in his thigh no problem.

Instead of just sending Jeff in to retrieve the keys, all three of them decide to make the trip. They sneak in and grab the keys, but hey, let's check on their dead friend Sally because now they actually give a shit about her. Guess what? We have confirmation! She's still dead!

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

So they bolt through the house to Jeff's car and drive off. Two dead friends, two MIA. Great party, guys. Hey, did anyone notice how that psycho killer wasn't in the house?

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Yeah, me neither. Well, hindsight is 20/20. It would've taken upwards of three seconds to check the backseat, and when you've padded the movie out this long, it would be rude to take up much more of the audience's time.

Think they'll drop the horror and turn the rest of Slumber Party Massacre II a genuine musical?
Click here to continue onward to page 3!

 

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