Features

I-Mockery Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' Music Video
by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED

IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!

Damn! It was a movie within a movie all along? Son of a bitch. Ok, so now we're back with Michael Jackson and the same girl, in "real life" and they're watching the "Thriller" movie in a theater. While his girlfriend is disgusted by the movie, Michael seems to be enjoying himself wholeheartedly. Especially the popcorn.

I LIKE POPCOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN

Michael likes his popcorn a lot. No I mean he really likes that popcorn. These weren't just polite little nibbles... no, these were enormous, mouth-wide-open chomps of popcorn that he wanted the entire goddamned world to see in plain view. And by the way, Orville Redenbacher? The man was NOTHING before Michael Jackson's Thriller. After the video was released, popcorn sales skyrocketed and Redenbacher became an overnight multi-millionaire. True story.

Notice the Vincent Price 'House of Wax' posters in the background?

So the girl finally gets fed up with the grotesqueries taking place on screen and storms out of the theater. After a few more big smiles at the gory movie and some hearty chomps of popcorn, Michael follows after her. Personally, I would've stayed in the theater. A girl who walks out on a perfectly good horror movie? That's grounds for dismissal right there.

Mike teases her about it only being a movie and how she was scared. And now the music part of the video kicks in....

Win her heart by faking a heart attack just like Mike!

While she's terrified of the movie, she apparently has no fears about walking down a dark street in the city of Los Angeles around midnight. Smart girl. Michael sings his Thriller tune while dancing around her, walking like a zombie, faking a heart attack and making all sorts of spooky hand gestures. He's put a smile back on her face and she's no longer annoyed with him because of the movie. Then they walk by a graveyard that's covered in smog, or is that perhaps the icy chill of the undead?

They put you in a big black box, and cover you up with dirt and rocks...

And this is the point in which Vincent Price starts his infamous Thriller rap - easily most everybody's favorite part of the whole song. Why nobody had the foresight to give Price a record deal after this is beyond me. It's clear to me that an entire album, with nothing but Vincent Price rapping about all things spooky, could've been one of the greatest musical releases in the history of mankind. Talk about a blown opportunity.

As far as scenes where zombies rise up from the grave go, I'd have to say that I can't think of one that comes even remotely close to being as memorable as the one from Thriller. The graveyard looked perfect and all the zombies were spectacular...

WISE FWOM YOUR GWABE!

The sound of Vincent Price rapping about "creatures crawling in search of blood" combined with the creeping noises of dirt and grass being uprooted as the zombies emerge one by one is just too classic.

RRRRRRRROCKED INSIDE A CORPSIN SHELL!

"And rot inside a corpses shell!" Now this is the one line from Thriller that I always screwed up as a kid. I could've sworn Vincent Price was saying "And r-r-rocked, inside a corpsin shell." Now what that actually meant, since "corpsin" isn't even a word, was beyond my youthful mind, but I was convinced that "rocked inside a corpsin shell" was an infinitely cooler way of saying "sealed in a coffin."

Fun activity: Should a loved one of yours die and you have the unfortunate task of making their funeral arrangements, why not spice it up a bit? Tell the funeral parlor director, "Um, yes. I believe he/she wished to be rocked inside a corpsin shell."

HIYA RICK!

This is a zombie cameo by Rick Baker, the makeup effects wizard behind Thriller. Until I saw Thriller, I thought all people were buried underground when they die. Rick's mausoleum zombie changed that. Oh how Thriller educated my youthfully ignorant mind.

WALK LIKE A MAN. BETTER YET, WALK LIKE A ZOMBIE!

For all of you Zombie Walkers out there, take note of Thriller. This is how zombies should walk. Slowly, awkwardly and stiffly. They sure did zombies justice in Thriller.

FUNKY ZOMBIE MAN!

"The FUNK of forty-thousand years!" People just don't use the word "funk" enough these days when describing something that's stinky or terrifying (or both in the case of this particular zombie). I think it's high time we bring it back into our vernacular. And no, we can't just leave it up to George "Dr. Funkenstein" Clinton to spearhead this campaign; he deals with a different kind of funk. Anyway, I always loved this particular zombie; he was probably my favorite one in the entire thriller video. I dunno, you just don't see enough zombies emerging from the sewers. Other than the creatures from C.H.U.D., this guy is pretty much the king of subterranean spooksters. I think what I always liked about him was the green lightning they used to highlight the fact that he was indeed a toxic zombie.

BRAAAAAAAIIIIINNS

The dead have now made their way out of the graveyard (and the sewers) and are walking through the streets in search of people to eat. We get a few nice close-ups of some other memorable character zombies...

ROLL ON MR. ROLLY POLLY, ROLL ON!
MR. ROLLY POLLY ZOMBIE!

SAY BUDDY YOU DROPPED YOUR WALET. OH WAIT, NO, THAT'S YOUR ARM.
MR. "I DIDN'T NEED THAT STINKIN' ARM ANYWAY" ZOMBIE!

You've been outsmarted by Zombies. HOW DOES IT FEEL?

As Mike and his girlfriend continue walking down the road, they suddenly realize that they're completely surrounded by zombies. Zombies may seem dumb, but they're actually quite organized when it comes to forming a perfect circle around people whom they want to eat.

Is Pee-Wee Herman responsible for this?

A few more head shots of the various zombies as they close in on the two. That one zombie on the right always creeped the hell out of me, with his mouth drooling black ooze 'n all. His make-up may have not been as memorable as some of the other zombies, but that damned black ooze looked nasty as nasty can get. I think Pee-Wee Herman may have given him some of that trick gum just before he died.

Oh but there's more!
Click to continue to page 3 of the
Michael Jackson's Thriller tribute!

 

Reader Comments

Ninja in training
Jun 25th, 2009, 11:32 PM
Rip Michael.... your moonwalking with jesus now T_T
Riot Control
Jun 26th, 2009, 12:05 AM
Despite not being a huge Michael Jackson's fan, I don't disagree with the fact that he simply was the greatest dancer of his time and this music video will be the best testament of that in his behalf.

So be it. Rest in peace, dude.
The Magnificent Bastard
Jun 26th, 2009, 12:13 AM
I just now found out he was dead.

Even though he was just a shell of his former self, it's still pretty sad.

Hmmm, I wonder if now he really will come back as a zombie.
High Priest of Burbank
Jun 26th, 2009, 02:12 AM
This video is a lot creepier knowing he is now dead.
Destructo Bear
Jun 26th, 2009, 09:33 AM
you know the one in the white to mjs left? 2nd zombie close-up? i know her daughter. went to school with her. anyways, its really sad that he died but i can tell you, ALL the kids i was in school with for tyhe past year have seen it. our LA teacher brought it in. that was awesome.
Forum Chaos Lord
Jun 26th, 2009, 10:43 AM
Twenty Years hence, this remains the best music video ever created.

Fare thee well, Michael. You will be missed.
Member
Jun 26th, 2009, 01:24 PM
This video is so great, the inevitable Indian rip-off is still awesome

pickled
Jun 27th, 2009, 12:53 AM
Thriller was the last good thing Michael ever did.
Cat Scratch Fever!
Jun 27th, 2009, 02:40 PM
Oh man does this video bring back memories! I remember when I first saw this. I was with my mom and my brothers at a neighbor's house across the street one night. I miraculously commandeered the remote control which given that I was only 5 at the time was a big rarity. After flipping through the channels for the fun of it, I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of Michael Jackson on MTV. This was at a time when I was still riding high on his other two songs Billie Jean and Beat It. I couldn't pass up the chance to see what was MJ gonna do next. He certainly didn't disappoint. It was thriller, my first time viewing it and when he turned into that werewolf man I was terrified I couldn't even move and strangely couldn't help but be fascinated at what I was watching. From there the music kicked in and I was hooked. Thriller became my number one MJ song next to Smooth Criminal and after that experience I was hooked on Halloween for life. I loved the song so much that I had my parents play it over and over again in the car while they drove us around trick or treating at various neighborhoods. Good times I tells ya. Michael Jackson will be missed for sure. His whole life was one awesome and sometimes bizzare performance. Here's hoping that you are up there somewhere moonwalking on the clouds as only you can. RIP MJ.
Forum Virgin
Jun 27th, 2009, 09:33 PM
holy crap! i remember watching this when i was 8. amazing! the choreography is so great that (no joke) when i went to air force basic training, our training instructor was teaching us how to march and he used thriller as a reference on how to coordinate with your fellow dancers, or in our case, marchers. and if the military uses thriller as a reference, it shows how good mj was. this video and other right after it show that you can make a video to complement a good song, unlike today, where you have rappers making videos about bling bling and throwing cash and cars and hos around. in other words, it seems that videos are only for image purposes and the music has been relegated to a secondary role, which doesnt help the fact that today's music sucks ass. and yes, mtv sucks. even its sibling vh1, which i had in such high esteem, is just horrible. as for mj, his personal lifestyle might have been questionable, what with the pedophile accusations, the surgeries, hanging out with a chimp, and all, but there's no question, the man was a great performet. rip!!!
Is it fun yet?
Jun 28th, 2009, 03:07 AM
I miss Michael. Although he will make a way creepier zombie now.
Forum Virgin
Jun 28th, 2009, 06:35 AM
As much as I love Thriller and MJ, there's only one video worthy of being MTV's most played, and it's Sledgehammer. That having been said, Peter Gabriel can't dance anywhere near as well as Michael lol
OH GOD
Jun 28th, 2009, 08:18 AM
he can now
Forum Virgin
Jun 30th, 2009, 04:30 PM
I have saved small children everwhere...
☆☆☆☆☆
Jun 30th, 2009, 05:44 PM
I have heard many MJ jokes, but that deserves a ban for being the weakest.
OH GOD
Jul 1st, 2009, 01:38 AM
ehh if it was in the main forums i'd think about it but idc about the article threads

i'm more annoyed by the misspelling of the name "michael", tbh
"It's all so appalling."
Jul 6th, 2009, 07:43 PM
wow! you truly are a funny man! and, yes, Thriller was f***ing awesome!
after enough bourbon ...
Jul 8th, 2009, 12:55 AM
MJ's music may not have done it for me, but his music videos were things of art and beauty. Thriller was and is still the yardstick against which all others are measured.
Ultimate Buzzkill
Aug 1st, 2009, 05:45 PM
There's a group of people here in New Orleans who dressed up as zombies last Hallowe'en, set up a boombox on Frenchmen St., and re-enacted the zombie dance scene from Thriller.

Click here to return to the Features homepage