Toxic High School Trading Cards: A Criminally Overlooked Trading Card Set
by: -RoG-


Card 23

(Ah yes, the old "head of lettuce effigy" trick... works every time!)

Card 24

(Warren didn't use "EGGS" for his painting?)

Card 25

(The French fries on the back of the card are a classy touch... as is "Eat Ze Vomit" on the blackboard.)

Card 26

(Gotta love the ransom note makes ridiculous demands like a new Ferrari, as if a school principal could afford one.)

Card 27

(Remember kids, nothing saying punk rock like vomit.)

Card 28

(Shouldn't the guy with the steering column embedded in his head be the one lying in bed... or perhaps in a coffin?)

Card 29

(I'd be excited as that one girl to find a rat at a junk yard too.)

Card 30

(Is that Al Roker?)

Card 31

(Personally, I think the guy belting himself on the head with the hammer is the real idiot in this picture.)

Card 32

(Uvula Moosnapper writes another winner for the Toxic Press!)

Card 33

(I like how they couldn't figure out where to place the number 33 so they just stuck it in the middle of the card)

Card 34

(Somebody call the Weekly World News, I think Batboy has some new competition!)

Card 35

(That is one enormous bowl of grits!)

Card 36

(I always carry a "HELP" sign around with me should situations like this ever arise)

Card 37

(They're twice the size of the other team, and yet they've still managed to score zero points.)

Card 38

(That doesn't look like wrestling, it just looks like sweaty manhugs full of raw emotion)

Card 39

(Interesting... I didn't know "Smelly Fat Bovine" could qualify as a "size".)

Card 40

(I dunno which one is hotter... cyclops cheerleader or doghead.)

Card 41

(I wonder if any of these were the same gorillas that were buying test answers earlier on)

Card 42

(Personally, I'd take my chances fighting the coach. He's missing a hand and only has a sword.)

Card 43

(Ah, just when I thought we had seen the last of "EGGS!" we get hit with a triple dosage of 'em.)

There's still more Toxic High School cards to see!
Click here to continue onward to page 3!

Reader Comments

Apr 28th, 2008, 04:04 PM
I swear I would have cried if I ever found the principal bringing down the high school building with heavy duty machinery. As for the rest... I guess that having a "French" class would have made the schedule a lot more fun.
Forum Virgin
Apr 28th, 2008, 04:07 PM
ew...never like gross humor cards. I guess the fun is just lost on me.

On a side note, I was looking at my Netfix, and there's a Garbage Pail Kid's Movie?

The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
Apr 28th, 2008, 04:50 PM
The art looks like the amazing Friedman brothers! Do you know if it is?
Apr 28th, 2008, 06:39 PM
I love Shemp rules in card #9. I keep telling people Shemp from the 3 stooges is the best one. At least someone knows whats up.
Apr 28th, 2008, 06:45 PM
Tayeloquin: I don't like all those gross humor cards either. I had to skip some of them as my eyeballs were paifully consumed by some nasty examples, but some were OK and quite hilarious. #21, for example, is completely modest in humor.
Apr 28th, 2008, 06:49 PM
RoG: It actually looks like the dog in #16 is driving the bus, as the alleged driver is blind.
Almighty Samfucius
Apr 28th, 2008, 08:00 PM
Is it just me, or did the artists seem to have a strange affinity for brass knuckles?

I saw a good number of them, at least more than I would expect.
Last of the Time Lords
Apr 28th, 2008, 08:25 PM
I actually remember these! They will never dislodge GPK and Wacky Packages from their central place in my heart, but I loved them just the same.
The Magnificent Bastard
Apr 29th, 2008, 01:08 AM
OMG! This is the best Trading card set ever!

It truly is a shame that these are overlooked as they even surpass such classics as GPK and Mar's Attacks in many areas.

It's also a fairly accurate portrayal of High School life.

BTW anybody else think this would make a great cartoon?
Forum Virgin
Apr 29th, 2008, 01:42 AM
Originally Posted by mburbank View Post
The art looks like the amazing Friedman brothers! Do you know if it is?
I don't know if it is the Friedman brothers or not. It does smack of them though.

Being a card collector most of my life (hockey generally) I've never seen these cards out. Wal-Mart usually has the collector cards all lumped together...I wouldn't have bought them though....
The Magnificent Bastard
Apr 29th, 2008, 03:57 AM
The "grossness" doesn't impress me half as much as the dead-on satire of one's High-School years. IMO, The funniest cards were the ones like #15.
The Riddle Pimp
Apr 29th, 2008, 08:18 AM
lurking on the walls
Apr 29th, 2008, 09:53 AM
DUDE!!! i like these cards, i wish i had the collection, all i have are Garbage Pail Kids and the early 90's complete Wacky Packages collection
Retardedly Handsome
Apr 29th, 2008, 10:30 AM
According to card 13 the zip code for Toxictown puts them NJ...seems about right.
after enough bourbon ...
Apr 29th, 2008, 10:56 AM
An heroic effort, -Rog-, thanks. Eggs! (poached)
Apr 29th, 2008, 11:37 AM
These cards were too awesome for your scanner to handle.
Apr 29th, 2008, 02:18 PM
Not only was a head of cabbage principal, it was principal for eight years.
Forum Virgin
Apr 29th, 2008, 03:44 PM
These are fucking incredible. Awesome.
Forum Virgin
Apr 29th, 2008, 05:30 PM
What's with the casual vomiting? You'd think they would have look of disgust or pain or SOMETHING on their face, but these people just projectile vomit like it's nothing.
Thrills and Oblongs
Apr 29th, 2008, 06:53 PM
And who one earth has that consistancy of vomit? Really, it's quite scary.

Thinking about it, considering the menu, it probably makes sense...
grants but one wish
Apr 30th, 2008, 09:00 AM
i must admit, those cafateria ladys do have that "just another day at work" look about them, hell, that looked better than whats on offer in our canteen
May 5th, 2008, 07:13 PM
Originally Posted by mburbank View Post
The art looks like the amazing Friedman brothers! Do you know if it is?
Pickled Patriarch
May 6th, 2008, 01:11 AM
Originally Posted by mburbank View Post
The art looks like the amazing Friedman brothers! Do you know if it is?
Ok, I finally tracked down some information about the creators of the set:

"Editor: Mark Newgarden. Sr. Writers: Drew Friedman, John Mariano, Mark Newgarden. Character design and pencils: Drew Friedman. Painters: Tom Bunk, Pat Pigott, John Pound, Walter Velez, Xno. Additional writers: Jordon Bockhanis, Jay Lynch, Russ Reiley, Beth Pearson."

So yeah, it does look like at least one of the Friedman brothers worked on it Max. Good eye! John Pound, who is probably the most famous artist from the Garbage Pail Kids, also worked on it which might explain how there were several little nods to the GPK series in the Toxic High set.
May 6th, 2008, 07:49 PM
I miss my Wacky Packy collection. I gave it to my little brother and he plastered them all over his school books. He feels bad to this day, but I flinched once when I saw his books and learned not to care about things you give to people.
Pickled Patriarch
May 6th, 2008, 08:02 PM
It's fine to put classic stickers like that on stuff... the only thing is, if you're going to stick 'em on something, make sure it's something you're not gonna get rid of after 6 months or so like school books. I suggest using them to improve the look of your computer, your musical instrument of choice, your furniture and even your body because you're likely to hold onto all of those things for a lot longer than your average school book.
May 6th, 2008, 08:50 PM
If only I could travel back to 1980 something to tell him :/
Pickled Patriarch
May 7th, 2008, 02:23 AM
With the magical powers of eBay, you can!
May 12th, 2008, 06:11 PM
Jul 12th, 2008, 08:22 AM
On card 9 it clearly says "Manson teaches gym."

So Charles Manson was a gym teacher before he went batcrap insane? Makes sense to me.
Feb 20th, 2009, 02:59 PM
Is there going to be a Grossville High minimock? Grossville High is like Toxic High combined with Garbage Pail Kids.
Feb 20th, 2009, 03:17 PM
A lot of those numbers are either too many digits, or not enough, especially the Stallone number.
The Ugly Puckling
Feb 20th, 2009, 07:01 PM
Akktri is obsessing over awesome body parts.

GO ask Alice!
King of the Boomstick
Nov 15th, 2009, 06:15 PM
I HAD these!! But you forgot to post the class pictures at the end of the series.
Oct 2nd, 2010, 08:10 AM
these are just awesome fuggin cards man!
Oct 3rd, 2010, 02:30 PM
Originally Posted by Tayeloquin View Post
ew...never like gross humor cards. I guess the fun is just lost on me.

On a side note, I was looking at my Netfix, and there's a Garbage Pail Kid's Movie?

Not only is there a Garbage Pail Kids movie, it's a godawful movie!
Unfunny Python Reference
Feb 7th, 2012, 02:04 AM
I just ordered a box For $11.49. From what I read it's a steal.

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