by: -RoG-
...CONTINUED
Card 44
(It's hard to read but one person spraypainted "eat turtle" on the back wall.)
Card 45
(In many ways, that's actually a fairly accurate depiction of Coney Island.)
Card 46
(If there's one thing I need to do before I die, it's gotta be spraypainting "EAT GRITS" on the chin of the Statue of Liberty.)
Card 47
(Am I the only one who can actually picture Elvis eating the bacon and marshmallow salad?)
Card 48
(That's honestly how everybody should react to the thought of attending prom.)
Card 49
(Mark my words, "The Bunny Stomp" is gonna be the next big dance craze.)
Card 50
(Finally we get to see who Uvula Moosnapper really is. I dunno, I think she should've won the prom queen nomination.)
Card 51
(Another card with Warren, another triple shot of "EGGS!")
Card 52
(And all these years you thought Clearasil was the only way to fight your acne problems...)
Card 53
(I don't know if I would be horrified or extremely excited if I picked my nose and found a miniature red carriage in there.)
Card 54
(This is pretty much how all debates should be settled.)
Card 55
(Are they really peeping toms when that entire building appears to be filled with exhibitionists performing in the windows?)
Card 56
(Apparently, if you're familiar with wounded chihuahuas, you're well on your way to becoming an actor.)
Card 57
(It sure is a good thing they have that skeleton to point out the smokin club rules.)
Card 58
(Look at that filing cabinet on the left. Notice the graffiti on it? EGGS!)
Card 59
(I never knew Staten Island was traded for a fistful of oatmeal. I'd say the Iroquois Indians made out better on that deal.)
Card 60
(My school didn't have anywhere near the variety of clubs that Toxic High has.)
Card 61
(Think the gorilla will score perfect 10's too?)
Card 62
(It's nice to see that even the guy in the iron lung wants to continue his education.)
Card 63
(Goodbye Toxic High School... we barely knew ya.)
Card 64
So there you have it, the entire Toxic High School trading cards set. They're easily one of the greatest anti-school novelties you'll ever come across. If Troma, creators of The Toxic Avenger and Class Of Nuke 'Em High ever released a card set, I think it's safe to say, this definitely would've been it. I hope you've enjoyed this look at at one of my favorite unsung gems from the wonderful world of novelty trading cards. Now if you'll excuse me, my scanner is on the fritz after scanning in all these cards. My guess is that it got some grits in it. Damn you Toxic High School!!!
Have any questions or comments about this piece?
Email -RoG-
If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:
Reader Comments
On a side note, I was looking at my Netfix, and there's a Garbage Pail Kid's Movie?
what?
I saw a good number of them, at least more than I would expect.
It truly is a shame that these are overlooked as they even surpass such classics as GPK and Mar's Attacks in many areas.
It's also a fairly accurate portrayal of High School life.
BTW anybody else think this would make a great cartoon?
Being a card collector most of my life (hockey generally) I've never seen these cards out. Wal-Mart usually has the collector cards all lumped together...I wouldn't have bought them though....
Thinking about it, considering the menu, it probably makes sense...
"Editor: Mark Newgarden. Sr. Writers: Drew Friedman, John Mariano, Mark Newgarden. Character design and pencils: Drew Friedman. Painters: Tom Bunk, Pat Pigott, John Pound, Walter Velez, Xno. Additional writers: Jordon Bockhanis, Jay Lynch, Russ Reiley, Beth Pearson."
So yeah, it does look like at least one of the Friedman brothers worked on it Max. Good eye! John Pound, who is probably the most famous artist from the Garbage Pail Kids, also worked on it which might explain how there were several little nods to the GPK series in the Toxic High set.
On card 9 it clearly says "Manson teaches gym."
So Charles Manson was a gym teacher before he went batcrap insane? Makes sense to me.
GO ask Alice!
On a side note, I was looking at my Netfix, and there's a Garbage Pail Kid's Movie?
what?