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Our in-depth look into the madness of Mexican Monografias continues.
If you missed the last one all about
abortions,
be sure to check it out first! So are you hungry for more monografias?
Well let's bust open this big bad piñata and let the glorious
education spill out onto the floor! Viva la revolución!
Today
we're having a double dose of monografias! Yes indeed, you'll get
two times the knowledge as we take a closer look into these valuable
lessons about RABIES and AIDS!
So let's hop right to it because you all know that knowledge is power
and what better place to get your education from than an internet
humor site! As always, I'll do my best to translate these monografias as
accurately as possible.
Two ways to protect your children from getting attacked by rabid
animals:
1) Don't emasculate them with dainty white pants.
2) Don't let them sleep in rat-infested beds.
Instead of taking them out back and shooting them like Old Yeller,
you can
enlist your rabid pet in a special summer camp program so they can
have
one last wild 'n wacky summer filled with foamy-mouthed hijinks
galore!
Contracting rabies will take you on a downward spiral that ultimately
results in your mental illness being exploited for bukkake videos
while
the doctors and nurses reassure you, "this is how we treat rabies."
In addition to receiving multiple injections in your stomach,
some medical practitioners will give multiple injections directly
into your nipples just to make sure your rabies don't turn into
a virulent strain of the rare disease known as "loco teets."
If the stomach injections don't work, your stomach will be
removed and replaced with a balloon animal of your choice.
If you fall off your bike, blame your injuries on the family dog that
you've hated for years. This way, the dog will be put to sleep and mom
and dad won't be ashamed of you because you couldn't ride your bike
without training wheels.
Monkeys, bats, roof cougars, giant rats, and dogs...
without the aid of an AK-47, they'll soon overthrow your home.
If you contract AIDS, when you die, you'll go straight to hell's
playground where you will forever be required to wear bare-midriff
shirts and flip-flops, you limp-wristed ass scratcher you!
Public lectures on AIDS are actually pyramid schemes which lead to you
using your children as door-to-door "Conasida" brand chocolate bar
salesmen.
Since AIDS causes you to "shoot blanks" you can buy a special kit
which includes
a condom and a syringe filled with horse semen. You can then fill the
condom with the horse semen and show it off to your buddies and feel
like a man again.
While some scientists study the AIDS virus, others like to store small
portions of
it in their cheeks to feed off of during the long winter seasons like
a chipmunk.
Close your eyes all you want, it won't change the fact that your
daughter
is taking advice from Death so she can finally get that family
inheritance.
Alright,
that's all the Mexican monografias we've got for now. Learn from
them... live by them. Hopefully we'll have some more to show you in
the near future!
Questions or Comments about this piece?
email -RoG-
If you enjoyed this
piece, be sure to check out:
Mexican Monografias: El Aborto!
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