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DAMN THE BANK
by: -RoG-

Someone mentioned today that they took out more money from the bank than they actually needed. This reminded me of a thing that I truly hate: BANKS.

Why do I hate banks? Because they make you take out a predetermined amount of cash all the time. If you're lucky, your bank allows you to withdraw money in multiples of 10 bux. I'm not that lucky, mine makes me take out 20 bux. Now to some people that might not seem like a lot, but in actuality... IT IS.

I mean think about it... I generally live off of fast food meals. Almost every fast food place I go to has meals for under 5 bux. So why the hell should I have to take out 20 bux every time I want to buy a 5 dollar meal?

Why can't the banks just give me the exact amount I want from the ATM machines? I want to be able to go to Wendy's restaurant and find out exactly how much my favorite combo meal is gonna cost. Then I want to go to the bank and withdraw that EXACT AMOUNT. No More. No Less.

There was an old sketch on Saturday Night Live about a bank that gives you whatever amount you want in whatever form you want. It went something like, "If you want 2 dollars, we can give you that. If you want 200 pennies, we can give you that. If you want 100 pennies, 2 quarters, 3 dimes, and 4 nickels... we can do that too".

Now that was obviously intended to be a joke, but if you ask me, I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE A BANK LIKE THAT FOR REAL!

It's all a conspiracy I tell you! It's a secret government operation where they are trying to get all of us to consume more. They figure if we have more money in our pockets, we'll be more inclined to spend it! AND THEY'RE RIGHT GODDAMNIT! THEY'RE FUCKING RIGHT!

THE FUTURE OF ATM BANKING?

So my friends, we must fight the urge to spend this extra money the banks make us withdraw! If your bank makes you take out a minimum of 20 bux from the ATM machine, I suggest you do the following.

  1. Withdraw the 20 bux.

  2. Go spend whatever portion of that 20 bux you need.

  3. IMMEDIATELY return the unused cash from that withdrawal to the bank and deposit it.

If they want to fuck with you, you can fuck with them!

DON'T LET THE BANK BASTARDS KEEP YOU DOWN!!!!!

note: -RoG- had to withdraw 20 bux today so he could buy a hammer for 5 bux. He then brought that hammer to the ATM machine and... well... the rest is history.


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