I-Mockery
Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
About Us Store Advertising Contact New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun! New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun!
 

 

A MESSAGE TO THOSE WHO REMOVE MY LAUNDRY
by: -RoG-

Hi asshole. If you're reading this, that means chances are you're one of the bastards who has removed my laundry from the washer in the laundry room. Why? Because you're too fucking impatient to wait 5 minutes for me to take it out myself. For example, I have it down to the precise minute when the laundry is going to be done. But when I went to take it out today, I found that it was already piled up ON TOP of the dryer.

Now what the fuck were you thinking there? You knew the clothes were wet. You knew I needed to dry them. So what on earth made you decide "Hmm, I'll put these ON TOP of the dryer!", huh!? HUH!? It's not like anybody was using the dryer. OHHH WAIT, MAYBE THAT'S IT! You did it because YOU wanted to get dibs on the dryer for YOURSELF! You were hoping that I wouldn't be back in time so you could dry your clothes before me. You whore!

Doesn't putting wet clothes ON TOP of a DIRTY DRYER completely negate WASHING them?? Now I want to wash my clothes all over again because they probably have dust and who knows what else on them. And it's all thanks to your impatient ass. You're going to burn in hell for this.

Clothes go IN the dryer, not ON TOP of it!
See? THAT is where the clothes are supposed to go!

I've decided that I can stand for this no longer. So I've come up with several methods of stopping you from removing my clothes from the washer or dryer:

  1. Put super-glue all over my clothes so that when you try to remove them, you'll be caught red-handed. Then I will proceed to beat you into oblivion.

  2. Pour a flesh-eating virus all over my clothes so that when you try to remove them, you're flesh will be eaten away. And I will still proceed to beat you into oblivion.

  3. Put a bug in with your load of laundry when you take mine out. That way, I can track you down, come into your house and kill your family by drowning them in Tide detergent. Then I will proceed to beat you into oblivion.

Well, those are just a few of my working ideas. All I know is that in the end, you will be beaten into oblivion for your impatience.

I'd write more, but I have to go check on my goddamned laundry. That is, IF it is still there... ASSHOLE.

note: -RoG- just realized he doesn't have enough quarters to do another load of laundry. FOILED AGAIN!


SUGGEST THIS TO A FRIEND!
Recipient Email Address:
Your Name:
Your Email Address:
      

Come talk about this piece in our forums!

Back To Visionary Darkness Main





[Minimocks] [Articles] [Games] [Mockeries] [Shorts] [Comics] [Blog] [Info] [Forum] [Advertise] [Home]


Copyright © 1999-2007 I-Mockery.com : All Rights Reserved : (E-mail)
No portion of I-Mockery may be reprinted in any form without prior consent
We reserve the right to swallow your soul... and spit out the chewy parts.