|
DATE: May 24, 2001
TO: All full time staff
FROM: Human Resources
SUBJECT: RE: Temporary employee ID badges
It has recently come to our attention that some staff
find the ‘large yellow dot’ on the Temporary Staff ID badge troubling. Apparently the
yellow dot we use brings unpleasant associations to mind for some of our
staff, specifically the yellow star Nazi Germany required those under
their jurisdiction of Jewish extraction to wear.
This opinion was brought before EMTF (Employee Morale Task Force) at
it’s next regular quarterly meeting, and while the task force felt the
association between our identifying ‘Large Yellow Dot’ and the infamous
Yellow Star was a bit of a stretch, they did want Jewish staff to know
that their experience of said Dots had been validated. It was the
decision of EMTF to replace the ‘large yellow dots’ with ‘large orange
dots’ as soon as the current supply of yellow dots is used up.
As the issue has been raised, we at HR want to take the
time to reinforce that while we certainly intended no mental association with
the Nazi party specifically or Fascism generally, easy identification of
Temporary staff is necessary. As regular, full time, benefits eligible
staff, you are entitled to various privileges at this institution which
our temporary employees do not and cannot enjoy. It would not be
financially responsible to extend the 10% coffee discount, parking,
or the ‘You’re Tops!’ motivation award program to our temporary employees,
any more than we could allow them sick time, paid vacation or absence
without pay.
Our security staff in particular need to be able to
rapidly identify an employee as temporary or non temporary. Research has shown Temporary
staff do not have the degree of loyalty to institutions shown by non
temporary staff. They are more likely to engage in office theft, petty
vandalism an other work related ‘shenanigans’. It would not be an
effective use of our security resources to have them covertly observe
employees for a full shift only to realize that this employee was non
temporary.
Human Resources needs to readily identify temporary
employees. How would you feel if an internal promotion you had applied for went instead to a
Temp? What if our garage attendants allowed a Temp’s vehicle to occupy a
space that might otherwise have been filled by your car? As you walk
through the rain will you thank us for our equanimity? Suppose a Temp
wanted to use your cubicle on your day(s) off? What if they wanted to
personalize it, as you are allowed to do, providing your decoration
falls with the parameters clearly defined in your ECPHB (Employee
Cubicle Personalization Hand Book)?
In addition, while some staff may find it an unsavory
detail, there are legal differences between Full Time and Temporary Employment. Were one
of our security staff to unintentionally injure you on the property,
your medical costs and salary would fall under Worker’s Compensation.
When Security sees your ID badge (which I’ll take the opportunity to
remind you must be worn above the waist and clearly visible at all
times) is Dot Free, they will exercise a degree of caution it would
not be productive to indulge for all our employees. Please consider for a
moment the vast number and high turn over of temporary staff. Security
cannot be expected to remember their faces or names. As they outnumber
you six to one, the only way other than clearly visible identification
to deal with these problems would be to sit down with our legal division
and discuss the ramifications of treating as, and/or making all employees temporary. This could easily be
discussed at the next regular quarterly meeting of EMTF, and will be addressed in the upcoming
EHBAG;GTWDPRSOAWSYWMLCYA (Employee Hand Book Appendix G; Guidelines for
Termination at Will, Disciplinary Privilege Relinquishment Schedules and
Other Assorted Ways of Showing You what a Meaningless Little Cog You
Are)
With all due respect, and I think you’ll agree an
admirable amount of patience, Temporary employees are Temporary for a reason. Are you a
Temp? Of course not. I’m sure you find the question as ludicrous to pose
as I. You have full time employment because your capable of it, and if
they were, they would too. No one should mistake, however, their own non
temp status with a guarantee of continued employment. Evaluation is in
less than a month and I would refer you to the Memo of 12/23/01,
‘Results of EETF (Evaluation Evaluation Task Force)’, specifically the
implementation of the new Evaluation Category, Team Playerness. Any
grade bellow ‘Consistently Meets Expectations’ in Team Playerness
will result in an overall evaluation no greater than ‘Partially Meets
Expectations’, which, as you all know, incurs a wage freeze for anyone
outside the first quartile of employment. We would advise you consider
this the next time you and your lousy Temp buddies gather in some shitty
bar to bitch about management. They are not your friends. They’d hand us
your nuts in a baggy for a coffee discount, and some of them have.
In closing we want to remind you that Staff Appreciation
day is rapidly approaching. We still don’t have anyone for face painting or potato
salad and please do remember, this is Staff appreciation day, not our
annual Holiday Fest. Family and/or dates are not permitted. Attendance
is mandatory.
|
