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THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT
by: Protoclown

Another week gone by, another school shooting. This seems standard fare these days, as more and more frustrated little scamps are picking up guns and trying to solve their problems in the weak and cowardly way. Whatever happened to settling disputes with fists, or just simply setting oneís tormentors on fire? Sadly, it seems that our nationís youth are currently marching headlong down the path of patheticness.

Blowing somebodyís brains out because they made fun of you is NOT a viable option, I donít care WHAT they said. But the real problem here is that the media is going to be running around like crazy trying to figure out who is to blame for this whole incident, just as they did at Columbine and all the others, the whole time ignoring who really IS to blame: the idiot with the fucking gun! Why donít we blame HIM? Now thereís a novel fucking idea! 

But of course, in typical stupid fashion, we will blame anything and everything BUT the guy who was pulling the trigger. Does that seem completely and irredeemably insane to anyone else? It has to be the "devil music" or violent movies, you see. The mass murderer is a victim here! Didnít you know? His poor, defenseless little mind was bombarded with subliminal messages that he just didnít have the strength to resist. Bullshit. 

Has it ever occurred to any of these parents that maybe little Timmy is EVIL? Maybe youíve actually raised a demonic hell child and you just donít want to face up to it. You never realized all these years just WHY he asked for a new pet goat every Christmas did you? Never bothered to think about what happened to all the old ones... and of course you were never in his room to see all the pentagrams drawn in virginís blood. But the evidence was right before you all along. Your son wasnít a victim, he was the neighborhood psycho. 

Or PERHAPS instead of raising a being of pure and malevolent evil, youíve gone a step into possibly worse territory and brought up a completely moronic fuck-up of a kid. That drooling youngster who rides the short bus and chases "goblins" through the house with underwear on his head? Yeah, didnít see any problems in Juniorís future. Oh no. "Never happen", you said. Well, look at Junior now! 

My point is that itís fucking ridiculous to blame outside sources like movies and music as having a large share of responsibility in "making" these children run out and kill people. Any child who listens to "devil music" or watches "The Matrix" and then decides it would be a fun thing to run around and play real-life "Doom" in school before first period obviously had some SERIOUS fucking problems to begin with. In other words, Mommy and Daddy raised a fuck-up. Congratulations!


As you can see, the most recent edition of the game,
"Doom", had NO hidden messages telling kids to kill people.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, blame the kid with the gun. The KID. If you REALLY feel you have to blame something else, blame the little buggerís parents. But donít go running around threatening to censor everything and hold Nazi-esque book burnings just because one stupid little shit couldnít handle reality. Thereís no need to spoil everyoneís fun. Most of us are capable of distinguishing between whatís real and whatís not, as well as whatís "right" and whatís "wrong". 

Oh, and another thing. ITíS NOT THE GUNíS FAULT. Regardless of your opinion on gun control, the GUN didnít kill anybody. It was the idiot holding it. And if he DIDNíT have access to the gun, he would have used something else. If you really want to hurt somebody, youíll get the job done, whether it be with a gun, a knife, or their own dismembered arm used as a bludgeoning device. Somehow youíre going to get them. 

So letís stop pussy footing around and trying to blame anything and everything BUT the kid who is directly responsible. I want to see that bastard and all others like him put away behind bars for LIFE with NO chance of parole EVER. Letís just punish the murderers, not the entire nation. 

note: Protoclown fondly remembers his school days when they just used pipe bombs to settle their disputes. No wait, that was Duke Nukem 3D. Nevermind. 

note #2: -RoG- fondly remembers shooting a pistol at Protoclown back in his high school days. But it was legal back then... right? RIGHT!?


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